Big Ten Conference Football Ranking - Week 4 - Someone Please Pull Up The Trash Truck

Okay, I am changing up the rankings this week. This conference is absolute trash outside of maybe six or seven teams. So, I ranked the top seven and put the bottom half under a new banner that will probably change next week. That new heading is “Hot Garbage”.

The teams in the bottom half of the Big Ten are basically trash. Or, at least are playing like it to this point. I will keep this format up for a few weeks until I no longer deem it necessary.

I hope you play along and hope and remember, drink responsibly.

1. Michigan (4-0 Overall 1-0 Conference) Beat Rutgers 31-7

• Last Week #1 - No move
• You did your job. Please be nice to Nebraska this week.

2. Penn State (4-0 Overall 2-0 Conference) Beat Iowa 31-0

• Last Week #3 - Moved up one
• Nice win over Iowa. Making Iowa fans sad/happy. Sad they lost but happy this is one step closer to a new OC next year.

3. Ohio State (4-0 Overall 1-0 Conference) Beat Notre Dame 17-13

• Last Week #2 - Dropped one
• You probably should have lost to Notre Dame. Also, Leave Lou alone.

4. Maryland (4-0 Overall 1-0 Conference) Beat Michigan State 31-9

• Last Week #4 - No Move
• Woohoo, Maryland is 4-0!

5. Wisconsin (3-1 Overall 1-0 Conference) Beat Purdue 38-7

• Last Week #7 - Moved two spots
• Wisky, I really thought you would struggle more this year with a new coach and offense. With the Big Ten West being a bit of a dumpster fire, you are sitting okay so far to win this.

6. Iowa (3-1 Overall 0-1 Conference) Lost to Penn State 0-31

• Last week #6 - Dropped one spot
• Look at the bright side. The chances of Brian Ferentz being gone at the end of the year just went up. I imagine you will drop more as the season goes on.

7. Rutgers (3-1 Overall 1-1 Conference) Lost to Michigan 7-31

• Last Week #8 - No Move
• You went up against the the Big Ten champ and punched them in the face. Unfortunately for you, they proceeded to punch back until the final whistle blew. With that said, I’m still happy for you and hope you keep fighting as the year goes on.

HOT GARBAGE (In Alphabetical Order)

Illinois (2-2 Overall 0-1 Conference) Beat Florida Atlantic 23-17

• You barely beat a one win Florida Atlantic team. I’m sorry, do more and you will jump out of this category.

Indiana (2-2 Overall 0-1 Conference) Beat Akron 29-27 in 4OT

• You won, but in reality you almost lost in overtime to Akron. Akron, you almost lost to Akron. Just chill the rest of the season until December. Then, Tom Allen’s buyout drops to a manageable number.

Michigan State (2-2 Overall 0-1 Conference) Lost to Maryland 31-9

• Dude, take the autumn off and find a coach...and an administration...oh yeah, go to counselling.

Minnesota (2-2 Overall 1-1 Conference) Lost to Northwestern 34-37 OT

• You lost to NW?! What the hell Minnesota!?

Nebraska (2-2 Overall 0-1 Conference) Beat Northern Illinois 35-11

• Two game win streak, that’s nice. This is a rebuilding year. Put the Kool-Aid back in the fridge for next year folks.

Northwestern (2-2 Overall 0-1 Conference) Lost to Duke 38-14

• Congrats, you’ve won two games. Keep using whatever “us against the world” mentality you have for the rest of the season. Maybe you will pull off a couple more upsets.

Purdue (1-3 Overall 0-1 Conference) Lost to Wisconsin 7-38

• You’re probably going to be down here all year. I’m sorry, that’s just how things will most likely go for you. I wish you the best.