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Nebraska Football: What The F^&@ Do You Say To Offensive Recruits???

I’m At A Loss For Words Bro.

Nebraska v Colorado Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images

“You ever watched an LA Rams game? Our offense is like that, but with less points, a worse QB & a complete inability to move the ball.....”

“We definitely won’t develop you for the NFL, but you’ll definitely play in front of the most loyal fanbase in college football!”

There is no sugarcoating the situation. This offense is complete sh*t, boo boo, poop, feces, excrement, waste, droppings, caca, doo doo, dookie. Jeff Sims is the worst QB to ever don a Nebraska uniform and it isn’t particularly close. I wouldn’t be upset to see him enter the portal immediately.

It makes you weep tears of joy for our defense, considering how dominant they have been through the first two games. If I’m Cam Lenhardt, I have to spend the entire week fighting the inexplicable urge to punch Marcus Satterfield in the jaw. This is the best Husker defense I’ve seen in years & it is being wasted.

Now, if you’re an offensive recruit, how is this offense supposed to inspire confidence within you?

Kewan Lacy is playing like the best RB in the state of Texas this season. I’m sure he has suitors lined up out the wazoo interested in flipping him. This offense has to be giving him zero hope whatsoever.

Jacory Barney turned down the hometown Hurricanes to be a Husker. Their offense is absolutely rolling on all cylinders & they defeated Texas A&M to the tune of 48-33 this past weekend. Miami is still contacting him, keep it 100, exactly what reason does he have to come play in a Marcus Satterfield offense?

Preston Taumua & Carter Nelson were being courted by elite programs & chose to be a part of the Big Red Family? Why in the blue hell wouldn’t they be evaluating their options right now?

I don’t even know what to say at this point. I’m at a complete loss for words. What I can say is this:

Marcus Satterfield is exactly who I thought he was.