Mike: Please, please, please, let us predict another Husker football game in 2023...
Jarek: Ideally, I would like to predict a football game in 2024, but for the season that started in 2023. I’ll happily settle for anything in December of 2023.
Tyler: For the sake of my wife and children this Friday's outcome had better be enjoyable or the Holidays are going to be quite Grinchy again this year. I have a Padron 85 and a bottle of Woodford Reserve I've been saving just for the occasion of enjoying once the Huskers are Bowl Eligible.
Just A Game
Ohio State (+3) at Michigan
Jarek: Ugh...I absolutely hated both of these pompous arseholes before Nebraska joined the B1G, and now you are telling me I have to predict which one I hate the least for the year? Maybe that school up north will change their signs and An Ohio State will get lost on the way to the Big House. Hopefully Ryan Day changed the Buckeyes’ signs too cause God knows those cheating bastards have them. This game has been high scoring recently, and that’s not changing. Ryan Day puts Jimmy back into the NFL. Ohio State 41 Michigan 38
Tyler: Much like Jarek, this has become 'The Team I Hate The Least Game' Marvin Harrison Jr. sounds like a good dude, even though I think Ryan Day is a average coach shielded by OSU funding. J.J. McCarthy brought his girlfriend onto the field against us in Lincoln in a disrespectful flex, despite pretty much knowing what we were going to do the whole game. No Harbaugh on the sidelines. Buckeyes 38 Wolverines 35
Mike: Next year, the expectation is that this game becomes mostly irrelevant because of the anticipated rematch the next week in Indianapolis. All of the talk is on Michigan between suspensions, cheating and where Jim Harbaugh is going to act weird next season. Except, of course, whether Ryan Day is in over his head in Columbus, Ohio. Kind of like the talk about Harbaugh three years ago. Time to flip the tables. Bucknuts 45, Weasels 37
Old Oaken Bucket
Indiana (+3) at Purdue
Jarek: The Old Bucket has a bit of an oaky afterbirth, or so a certain manager of a paper company once told me. This is a genuine battle of which team sucks the least in Indiana, unfortunately, Indiana State can’t beat them to help my decision. Having said that, Tom Allen goes out with a loss, Purdue will find a way to chug along to victory. Purdue 24 Indiana 20
Tyler: If Hudson Card plays, it's Purdue. If not, Hoosiers win. Doesn't save Tom Allen's job either way. Go with my gut. Hoosiers 30 Boilermakers 28
Mike: It’s noteworthy when Purdue’s team captain and second leading receiver quits the team before the last game of the season against their rival. On the other side, you have to presume that we’re witnessing the final act of the Tom Allen Disrespect era. (Maybe he’ll catch on with Neon Deion in Boulder next season.) Call it the “Who Cares Bowl”: Boilers 24, Hoosier Next Coach 20
Land of Lincoln
Northwestern (+5.5) at Illinois
Jarek: This line intrigues me. The Wildcats are bowl eligible already, while Illinois needs this one to become it. I for some reason don’t see that happening. Bert has one dozen too many turkey legs and falls asleep on the sideline. Illinois gets stuck at 5 wins. Northwestern 27 Illinois 24
Tyler: Bert let me down last week. Yes, I said Bert, not Bret. You blow the opportunity to beat Iowa I change your name temporarily. I've already said I like the direction of the new Wildcats. They bolster their bowl list with a season ending win to claim the Land of Lincoln. Wildcats 28 Illini 21
Mike: Nearly everyone calls him Bert, Tyler. And I’m not calling him a winner this week. NW 23, Feeling ILL 21
Paul Bunyan’s Axe
Wisconsin (-2.5) at Minnesota
Jarek: If only Paul and Babe could clear cut both of these terrible football teams, that would be great. Peej could be in a massive amount of trouble in an eyebrow-raising hurry if they don’t beat the Badgers. Minnesota was seen as a possible dark horse to win the West, and it can brag it beat Iowa, but that’s about as far as the bragging goes. Minnesota also stuck at 5 wins. Wisconsin 30 Minnesota 14
Tyler: Fickell beats Khaki Dave because I hate him more. Might the love in Minneapolis be fading for 'Row the Boat' Boy? God, I hope so. Badgers 24 Goofs 13
Mike: Against all logic, PJ and the Goofers sweep the Quadrangle of Hate. Don’t ask me how, because it makes absolutely no sense. Boat Rowin’ Goofers 27, Stinkin’ Bahdgers 21
Iowa (+2) at Nebraska
Jarek: Ah yes, the Heroes Trophy. The last two Nebraska coaches who won it didn’t retain their jobs into the next season, so Matt Rhule could be screwed if we win. I have a hard time convincing myself that Nebraska could win this, and I might not be able to even if I got drunk and started arguing with myself on how we could pull it off. My heart aches for what seems like the inevitable, Nebraska beats itself by committing multiple turnovers. This is Corn Nation though, and F the Squawks. Nebraska goes bowling kids and always take the under when it involves Iowa. Nebraska 14 Iowa 10
Tyler: Close to 30 players will be honored on Senior Day. Some will be gone for good and others will have a choice to make. Ty Robinson was the first player to publicly announce he's returning for a 6th year(only time you'll hear me say 'Thank You Pandemic') but some need fresh starts or to hang it up and pursue their careers outside of football. But the best present you can give that group regardless is a Win on Black Friday and the promise of a Bowl Bid to reward their careers in the Scarlet and Cream. You only need one point to win the game. Nebraska wins it by 2. Huskers 17 Squawkeyes 15
Mike: This one just looks brutal. It’s all meaningless now, but Iowa has to score 121 points this week to successfully meet the “Drive to 325” as FYI. Let’s be honest: I suspect we’ll see more defensive scores than offensive scores in this game...and that means a weird Iowa-like score. Vegas has moved the line towards the Huskers for some reason. Chubba Purdy doesn’t want to hear from big brother Brock that he lost to the Squawks, and if he holds onto the ball, I think Nebraska can pull this one off. Take the under, folks. Huskers 13, Squawkeyes 11.