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Nebraska Football’s Veritable 3-Ring QB Circus

Can anyone stop turning the damn thing over?

Maryland v Nebraska Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

I must not be frustrated. I must not be frustrated. I must...oh hell, I’m furious. The old adage goes “when you have two starting QBs, you have zero starting QBs”. Well, what the hell do you get when you have three? A three-ring circus that should earn itself an NIL deal and touring dates with the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey.

I’m generally a pretty happy-go-lucky type of guy, so if I start barking then YOU have a problem. Not only do I believe that our QB room belongs to the circus, how on God’s (or whoever or whatever you may or may not worship) green Earth does every damn bakery in town not have an NIL deal with the QBs doing commercials making turnovers? In case you haven’t noticed bakeries of Lincoln, THEY’RE DAMN GOOD AT IT! I mean look, there clearly is plenty to go around, both on and off the field.

Watching Haarberg trying to hit Fidone down the field is giving me severe flashbacks of watching Jamal Lord laughingly over or underthrow Wilson Thomas by a solid 10 feet. Sims then decides to fumble and throw two picks, although in Sims’ defense on the interception that he threw into triple coverage, he did manage to hit the open guy that was sitting down in the zone. For those who didn’t see the pun there, or the play which caused this, he hit the defender between the numbers while the defender was sitting on his ass at midfield.

Then Chubba Purdy comes in, also hurt, and leads Nebraska down the field with a spirited run game, which includes him. All Nebraska needs to do is score some points, and maybe, just maybe, Nebraska would win. Offensive coordinator Marcus Satterfield has borne the brunt of this issue all week amongst the fans, but with points in the bag, Purdy throws an interception in the end zone. For those keeping track, that was turnover number 5 on the day.

I’ve been pretty lenient on giving these guys a pass, trying to tell everyone to keep their heads up because things will turn around. Not today. Someone on the defense needs to tell our QBs that their heads are located up their asses and would best be served if they could take their hands, reach in there and pull them out. The QB room needs told this because they currently can’t find their heads up their asses with two hands and a flashlight. I’m going full-on tough love in this situation because growth happens when people are completely honest with each other, even though it hurts to hear.

I know the B1G West can still be won. I no longer care. It’s all about winning this week and that’s it. Enough is enough, when are the quarterbacks going to learn they are keeping this team down? I haven’t got a single bad thing to say about the offensive line and the running backs in the last couple of weeks because they’ve been really good. Keep up the good work there fellas. The running game may have to drag the offense to a win and bowl eligibility, as the passing game clearly isn’t capable of helping.

Maryland v Nebraska Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

Just one win. That’s all I ask. That’s all any Husker fan currently asks. Find one in the remaining two games. Do it to prove to yourselves that you are capable. This team, largely comprised of Scott Frost’s players, have won as many games in the first year of the Matt Rhule era as they had in Scott’s tenure. Take the next step, win one more. Let the yelling, teeth-gnashing, hatred for your offensive coordinator from the fan base fuel you this week and next. Stop making us go to watch the circus and play competent football. Go Big Red!