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The 24 HOUR RULE: The Lies We Tell Ourselves aka Coping the Husker Way

Hope is a good thing, Red. Maybe the best of things. Even if it does sound batsh*t crazy being replayed in your head after another loss to PJ.

NCAA Football: Ohio State at Nebraska
You do get fooled again!
Dylan Widger-USA TODAY Sports

This is not a mocking of our fine base but rather a celebration of the coping mechanism which keeps attendance streaks and Twitter rants alive. In Nebraska, we don’t just believe in magic. We rationalize exactly why we believe the magic will happen.

Yes, the actual game results are usually as stupid and disappointing as magic is, but whatever. Lather, rinse, repeat and then make an off-season of it, you filthy animals.

Naturally, the best lies are born of Husker philosophers with livers like a slab of Jack’s Links. And why is that? Because their thought processes have been corrupted with the influence of sweet alcohol. It is the elixir which can take you away from the mundane and imbue in you wisdom to solve the world’s problems. It gives you wit, charm and the courage to climb Everest. That loud asshole at the end of the bar built like The Ultimate Warrior? As soon as you finish your story and polish off that shot of Kessler, you’re putting him DOWN.

And finally and most importantly it fills your heart with not just the optimism that everything will turn out fine but the creativity to put into words exactly why this is a certainty and not just a pipe dream.

Casey Thompson will not just play! He and Trey Palmer will absolutely shred the Wolverines!! (Drink) The line will open holes for Anthony Grant! (Chug) If Casey doesn’t play, Logan will dazzle with his legs! (Shot) The Blackshirts given some rest will shut down Corum!! Mickey will hand out Blackshirts after!! (Drink, chug, belch, another shot, tears of joy)

Of course Sunday morning will find your pounding head draped over a commode as you realize Chubba Purdy started and it was all a damnable lie but you’ll recover in time for Wisconsin. As long as you left The Ultimate Warrior be, anyway. Just hydrate baby.

So to kick this off, I’m going list a few things I’ve read and overheard from others in just the past week or so. Obviously, it entails the thoughts of many who are deeply involved with Trev and the search team :-)

And folks? There’s a comments section below. Add your own lies, false confidences and tweets which fit this mold. There’s no shortage of any of them:


“I know the ground game is crap, but I feel like the pass blocking isn’t too bad.”

NCAA Football: Illinois at Nebraska
Tis but a flesh wound.
Dylan Widger-USA TODAY Sports

“Mickey Joseph/Gary Patterson/Matt Ruhle are about to be hired - Board of Regents voting anytime.”

“If we’d just pound the the ball 60 times/game, we’d be back in two years.”

“HAHAHAHA Iowa sucks! We’ve totally got ‘em this year!”

“Big coach hiring announcement coming! 24-48 hours from now! Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Wisconsin Week guaranteed!!”

And a few tweets:

This is what happens when theres’s shots and cocaine for breakfast.

Yes, yes, THIS would be reason to drop the “I’ll never watch them again” hammer. Also, Bo, I don’t think is going to get you that coveted blue check.

Somebody’s Mickey Thursday sources were wrong. Was Mickey hired full-time or fired Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday? Or Wisconsin week?

They’re happening very fast everyone so stay tuned. (Jesus was quickly unverified after posting this.)

Nebraska Cornhuskers

Michigan Wolverines