As tempting as it is to do a little more, let’s just enjoy our first win in a year vs. a P5 opponent and get ready for some Friday night football as the Huskers attempt to net their first back-to-back Big 10 victories since Frost’s inaugural season of 2018 (Illinois and Michigan State). And boy, that “Uh oh, this lightning storm cancelling Akron might be a curse?” has aged pretty well, has it not?
So let’s keep it simple this week with 1) a quick poll to gauge the season hope level of the fan base after last weekend and 2) a pool of head coach candidates whom Trev may not have yet taken the time to consider. Trust me.
HOW DO YOU THINK THE SEASON PLAYS OUT AFTER THE FIRST WIN OF 2022 PART 2?
Your choices are below and and I promise the clips are short.
2) It’s Okay To Hope
3) Not Back Yet...But Done Taking Shit (Only 1st 30 seconds or so.)
4) All The Way Home
So let’s vote - which is it?
As we sit in a 6-way tie for first, go ahead and pick your video-aided assessment of where the 2022 season part 2 takes us :
This poll is closed
Major League - The Groundskeepers "They’re still shitty!"
Shawshank Redemption - Red "Hope is a good thing."
Rocky 3 (NU to the rest of the Big 10) "Ya’ ain’t so bad!"
Color of Money - Fast Eddie - "Hey! I’m back."
RANKING THE FINEST FICTIONAL HEAD COACHES OF THE HUSKER SEARCH POOL
If we’re honest with ourselves, there is a whole cast of candidates from the flat and sliver screens who deserve serious consideration for the open head coaching position at the University of Nebraska. All have proven themselves in some way and all come with baggage. To make it easier, I have pre-ranked them from 10 to 1 and listed their pros and cons. Please feel free to comment below on anything which should probably be added, positive or negative.
(Note - I have intentionally omitted Tony D’Amato and Hayden Fox. Coach D’Amato was last seen beginning the build of the expansion Albuquerque Aztecs having just signed QB Steamin’ Willie Beamon and Hayden Fox has retired, unlikely to be drawn out by an offer to return to the college ranks.)
#10 - BUD KILMER (Jon Voight) - Varsity Blues - currently available
30 years on the job at West Canaan - 2 state titles and 23 district titles don’t lie.
Shows little to no understanding of concussion protocols.
Hitler salutes at speeches and gatherings could prove problematic.
Literally walked out on his team in last season’s district championship - rumors of a player boycott persist.
His assistants also mysterious left the game.
Statistical analysis backs allegations of substituting in white skill players when in the red zone, add racist to the negatives
Just an all-around terrible person.
Verdict - Avoid at all costs - this is a disaster waiting to happen at any level.
#9 - LANCE HARBOR (Paul Walker) - Varsity Blues - Graduates in May
Although Kilmer was the coach of record, led West Canaan to a district title in first and only game as head coach after taking over at halftime.
Along with QB Jonathon Moxon, his former backup, successfully installed the Air Raid offense with only moments remaining in halftime.
Rivals 5-star consensus #1 pro-style QB; knee injury ended career
He looks damn good.
Doesn’t graduate high school until June and has no other coaching experience.
Play call signals such as finger-hooking mouth and air-climbing for the Hook & Ladder are sure signs of inexperience.
Would be the youngest head coach in NCAA history.
Instincts suggest there could motor vehicle issues down the road.
Verdict: Head coach consideration unreasonable, but may want to consider bringing on as a grad assistant and offensive consultant.
#8 - VERN NICKERSON (Craig T. Nelson) - All the Right Moves - current HC at Cal-Poly
Shows flexibility in scheming opponents - installed an unconventional stack defense to shut down All-State Walnut Heights RB #41 Alexander (no first name)
Stickler for strength and conditioning
Carries a golf club around for unspoken threat of beatings.
The whole coaches with God complexes in the mountains of Pennsylvania thing hasn’t aged well.
Has a reputation for being unforgiving.
Will need to recruit at a higher level if he gets a P5 shot - especially in the defensive backfield.
Verdict: Looking for someone with a better public personality who recruits at a higher level at skill positions than undersized Tom Cruise look-alikes.
#7 - MR. COACH KLEIN (Henry Winkler) - The Waterboy - current HC at SCLSU
Has an eye for diamonds in the rough, most notably former waterboy and consensus All-American Bobby Boucher
Considered one of the most innovative offensive minds in the game
SCLSU’s Bourbon Bowl victory over the Louisiana Cougars is considered one of college footballs greatest upsets and endings.
Could very well bring Boucher to Lincoln, who has 3 years of eligibility remaining
Despite counseling, confidence and assertiveness could still be issues.
Can absolutely not be allowed to bring his staff with him.
Would need a special assistant to ensure he doesn’t wear high heels to public appearances.
Verdict: As enticing as the addition of Boucher makes this prospect and being the 1st person on the list with extensive college experience, he’s just too weird.
#6 - JIMMY MCGINTY (Gene Hackman) - The Replacements - retired
Extensive NFL experience as head coach.
History of working well with diverse personalities.
Only coach in NFL history to defeat a full NFL team with almost all replacement players.
Knows that winners always want the ball.
Basically retired after his strike stint.
Per previous owner, team’s playing style elicited the comment, “I’ve seen better monkey shit fights at the zoo.” That’s an issue.
Alleged gunplay incident between offensive linemen and striking players not sufficiently addressed.
Verdict: Intriguing pick given his history of success in odd situations, but no recent college experience.
#5 - WALLY RIGGS (Robert Loggia) - Necessary Roughness - current DC Texas State
Long considered overdue for a shot at a head coaching position
With HC Ed Gennero out due to heart issues & indigestion, stepped in and engineered the 0-10 Armadillo’s upset of the undefeated #1 by-God Texas Colts.
Gave perhaps the finest inspirational halftime speech in history.
Espouses style of ripping opponents’ heads off and shitting down their neck. Let us pray.
May not be the first choice for a fanbase that gets weepy about HC’s who get testy with the press.
Only 1 game of head coaching experience.
May not want to jump from one rebuild to another right away.
Verdict: Probably not the 1st choice for head coach but absolutely should be considered as the defensive coordinator on the new staff. A nice raise from current Texas State salary and an Asst Head Coach title may get it done.
#4 - PAUL “WRECKING” CREW (Burt Reynolds) - The Longest Yard - currently incarcerated
Successful playing career at all levels
Allegedly pulled off legendary upset in a rumored semi-pro game .
Will definitely bring the physical type of play we desire. (moral flexibility required)
Has a pipeline to an amazing untapped talent pool if we’re willing to give people second chances and not ask too many questions.
No actual coaching experience.
He is literally in prison, convicted of three felonies.
Those looking for a “man of character” are not going to sign off on any part this.
His parole may have been held up since he allegedly set on fire and killed his Director of Football Operation at his current “institution”. (A pending investigation is starting to suggest he may have been framed.)
Verdict: While not as reprehensible a person as Urban Meyer, this is still someone serving a prison term for assaulting his girlfriend, stealing her car and then assaulting the police who attempted to apprehend him. (Although the short officer was probably just as responsible for the altercation.)
(Crewe knows how to slow the pass rush)
#3 - SAM WINTERS (James Caan) - The Program - current HC ESU
Extensive college experience most notably with the ESU Timberwolves
A master at keeping players eligible.
Dedicated recruiter - tops everyone else on the list in this regard (except perhaps the unproven Crewe)
Knows the difference between “hurt” and “injured”.
Appears to have no reason to leave ESU as long as he keeps them bowl eligible.
Promised Joe Kane he’d be there for his senior season.
Probably not a potential long-term answer in his mid-60’s.
Verdict: Excellent candidate but his character gave almost nothing funny to throw in for the purposes of this article. he’s out.
#2 - “STRAIGHT” ED GENNERO (Hector Elizondo) - Necessary Roughness - current HC Texas State
Extensive D1 experience
Unafraid to take on a rebuild.
Will definitely try to run the damn ball.
Learned late in career to delegate to competent assistants.
Loves all his players - even the ones he had to kick off his team.
Played football like a goddamned wild man! No, like a goddamned rampaging beast!!
May not adapt to the world of NIL and the transfer portal.
Will run the damn ball even when the best talent on the team is his QB’s arm.
Do we really want someone following all the rules THAT close?
I’m not sure I trust a man whose initial instinct is to turn away Kathy Ireland for any reason.
Stamina in question after a gut ache hospitalized him overnight.
Verdict: Has shown growth in opening up the offense, trusting the DC and trusting his players decision-making on the field. I believe today’s boosters could do their thing without him catching on. Straight Ed could lead this team.
#1 - ERIC TAYLOR (Kyle Chandler) - Friday Night Lights (TV Series) - current HC Pemberton HS
Perhaps the most impressive start to a high school coaching career in football history.
In first 5 years, all in Texas HS’s largest class, made the playoffs 4 times and won 3 state titles.
The last state title was at Dillon East a year after re-starting the program.
Never a more successful coach when trailing with time for only one play left.
100% rating at dialing up a pump-up speech.
Vince Howard (TMU) and Smash Williams (Texas A&M) would transfer to Lincoln in a heartbeat.
No history to hold him to the Pemberton Pioneers.
Only college job was a 2-month stint as QB coach at Texas Methodist.
Would have to find wife Tammy Taylor a high-ranking university administrative position in Lincoln or she might murder him.
Verdict: This is the man who can make people forget about Gerry Faust and jump directly from the high school ranks to the Power 5 and do it successfully and immediately. The Dillon East run showed he can recruit and the man does nothing but win. Ladies and gentleman, your new Nebraska Cornhuskers Head Coach - Mr. Eric Taylor.
Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose. Go Big Red.
(The speech. Hits every single note.)