Mike: Time for another weekend to rake leaves and hit the pumpkin patch!
Andy: I was thinking more along the lines of day drinking and some angry, anonymous & vaguely threatening letters to editors around the country! But I have some yard cleanup as well, so I’ll skip the angry letters.
Indiana (+3) at Rutgers
Andy: If college football games are delightfully savory meals, this one is the dump you take on Sunday morning after waking up in your underwear on the floor next to a half-eaten $33 bag of 2:30AM Taco Bell, fire sauce all over your cheek and a cheesy gordita crunch with one bite gone in your dirty little fist - and that bite’s still in your mouth half-chewed, you filthy animal.
With a combined seven consecutive losses between the two, this game isn’t just a piece of shit, it’s the full commode. The winner will be the only team with a slight chance of bowl eligibility and Rutgers defense and home field should be the difference. Scarlet Knights 22 Indiana 20
Mike: The B1G Toilet Bowl. Gimme Rutgers over the whiners. Knights 27, Hoosiers 20
Lance Leipold (Kansas +10) at Dave Aranda (Baylor)
Andy: Woohoo, another Husker Coach Bowl!! Two teams which shot out of the gate a combined 8-1 to start the season have suddenly lost two straight each, so someone gets back on the winning track. Kansas has been money ATS this season and won’t go down easily, but playing on the road against a superior defense with their starting QB done for the year doesn’t bode well for the Jayhawks. Baylor 36 Kansas 20
Mike: Yeah, it was fun while it lasted in Larryville. Recent games aside, I’d be happy with either of these gentlemen moving to Lincoln in December. But this weekend, it’ll be all Aranda. Bears 42, Jayhawks 24
Purdue (+2.5) at Wisconsin
Andy: **GOOFY LINE ALERT! GOOFY LINE ALERT!** The only thing which remotely explains Purdue being the underdog here is they haven’t beat Wisconsin since 2003 and the bookies expected them to maul Nebraska. Purdue is the better team at almost every position except RB - but stopping the run is the strength of the Boilermaker defense. They can be had through the air but Graham Mertz has been below average in every meaningful game. Also, Wiscy just lost to a pretty awful Michigan State team. Unless the fix is in, Boilermakers 31 Rodents 21
Mike: Well, Purdue mauled everybody not named Trey Palmer last weekend. And I dare say that Bucky doesn’t have ANYBODY like Palmer. Boilers 38, Badgers 24
Minnesota (+4.5) at Penn State
Andy: Penn State is nowhere near as good as their ranking and record would indicate, but PJ Fleck’s always unimaginative offense has basically left the chat. They’ll have a better chance against a Nittany Lion defense giving up close to 400 ypg and offense which has also failed to do much the last two weeks. Screw it, small upset - Goofers 20 The School Without a Conscience 16
Mike: This one could be just as ugly to watch as Rutgers/Indiana. Nitts 28, Goofers 21
UCLA (+6) at Oregon
Andy: These teams are about as evenly matched as you’ll find this weekend. Oregon has bounced back to win five straight after being pummeled by the defending national champs in their opener. After four weaker games to start things off, UCLA has beaten ranked foes in their last two. Both are coming off bye weeks. Both defenses give up points but expect to outscore you anyway.
Eugene’s Autzen Stadium is a wild environment and usually worth a few points, but UCLA’s Chip Kelly may have a few tips on preparing for that atmosphere as the Ducks’ former coach for four years. Because of that and the Bruins being more battle-tested recently, I’m calling for the upset in a shootout - UCLA 45 Oregon 42
Mike: Chip Kelly returning home? This looks like fun. I’ll join Andy in picking the Bruins... UCLA 52, Oregon 49.