clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Nebraska Baseball NOT Picked In Top Six

New, 1 comment

Why not picked in the top six? Because they want to keep Nebraska down, man.

Baseball Background Jon Johnston

Nebraska was not one of the top six teams listed in the preseason coaches’ poll.

Below are the preseason picks as selected by Big Ten coaches. They have not yet experienced the power of the BOLT, as in Will Bolt, as in Nebraska’s new head baseball coach, who will crush their hopes and dreams (well, maybe not Michigan, but the rest). Remember that movie, Field Of Dreams? They used his bat in that movie, broke it, never paid him, and he’s been pissed off ever since. Now it’s his turn to reign terror on a conference that doesn’t recognize his favorite sport as anything more than an intramural. They will pay.

Here’s the top six as pick by those bastards:

  1. Michigan
  2. Indiana
  3. Ohio State
  4. Iowa
  5. Maryland
  6. Illinois

Every year each team in the conference selects three players to watch. This is to help out the media people across the Big Ten who pay little attention to baseball, so they don’t have to learn all the players on the teams they cover, but only need mention the three the coaches select.

Nebraska’s Three Players To Watch Are:

Chance Hroch - pitcher, grad transfer from New Mexico State. Swellest mustache on the team right now, although he admitted that it would likely only take Mojo Hagge three days to match his glorious facial hair. Such modesty. Clearly, he comes to Nebraska to kick ass.

Cade Povich - native of Bellevue, which I understand is somewhere near Omaha. Being a western Nebraska native myself I find most of eastern Nebraska besides Lincoln, Omaha, and Gretna confusing. No relation to Maury that I know of. Transferred back to Nebraska from a JUCO. Started four games last year in a season that was cut short after only 15 games. 1-2 with a 5.06 ERA, which sounds bad, but everything about last year was bad. Give the guy a break. This year he will destroy the Big Ten.

Spencer Schwellenbach - Preseason All-America honors from Baseball America. Second-team honor from D1Baseball.com. All-around great guy whose last name starts with “SWELL” with a little bit of “SCHW” added so it sounds even SCHWEETER. Can play anywhere. Hits the ball well. Will probably pitch. Opponents will fear him most because he can appear to be everywhere on the field at once.

Not Mentioned:

Mojo Hagge - been around 15 years. No one’s sure where he came from, nor whether or not “Mojo” is a real name. No one cares. Great hair. Flowing style. Always being picked last as a kid has left him with a permanent chip on his shoulder, an anger, a thirst that won’t be quenched until he has eliminated every obstacle in his path.