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Predictions: Huskers (+3) vs. Bye

No Husker game doesn’t mean we can’t make bad predictions this week.

NCAA Football: Purdue at Iowa Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Mike: No one score loss this week, folks!

Jill: Bye weekends around here involve a lot of fencing, pruning and more fencing. I doubt I’ll get to watch any games. /checks list below. Whew, I win.

Nate M: Fencing? Like with swords?

Andy: Don’t believe we’ll be taking too many deep dives today; there’s not even much to hang our hats on nationally - Baylor-Oklahoma? ATm-Ole Miss? NC State-Wake? Maybe it’s a good day for self-reflection and a path to sobriety.

(shudder)

I’m in St. Louis. Where the closest Denny’s? Also, I need ice for later. The machine better be on this floor.

Mike: Forget Denny’s... find a Waffle House or Bob Evans, Andy, fer crying out loud.

Patrick: Oxford, MS is a pretty cool town

Minnesota (+5.5) at Iowa

Jill: The B1Gest game of the week! The road-grader Gopher offensive line vs the stout defense of the Hawkeyes... This could come down to who has the best punter. That appears to be Iowa. Hawkeyes 12 Gophers 11

Nate M: Iowa should win by 10. They will.

Mike: Iowa is consistently mediocre this season. Minnesota is much less consistent: sometimes surprisingly good, sometimes awful. I’d be tempted to take the Goofs bouncing back, but I just don’t see Iowa’s defense (which actually is pretty good) allowing that...even if Iowa’s playing their backup quarterback. Squawkeyes 20, Goofers 14

Andy: For fellow Huskers tired of losing to a tool like Peej, Goof Bastard fans feel yo’ pain when it comes to Hawkeyes who are preparing to keep Floyd of Rosedale for the 7th straight season. Don’t bet against the streak. Iowa 18 Minnesota 10
(Fear not though, Minny. After the game, PJ will be at the local Iowa City Noodles & Co. signing covers of his yet unwritten biography - It’s All About Me: How I Rowed My Way To The Top)

Patrick: University if Minnesota 14 University of Iowa 12

Jon: I’d like to see Minnesota win this. First, it’s Iowa and the hell with them, but if Nebraska isn’t going to have a good season, then why not the Gophers? Half my household is Gophers fans. Someone might as well be happy. Minnesota 24, Iowa 17.

Michigan (-1) at Penn State

Jill: The winner probably gets to be the third best team in the East. I’m going with the Wolverines, but I can’t tell you why. Michigan 29 Penn State 21

Nate M: Michigan should win by 3. They will.

Mike: More impressed with Michigan this season. Weasels 34, Nitts 28

Andy: I’m gonna apply the Law of Never Trust College Football and the Bookies Know More Than You Corollary. This feels like two programs on different trajectories which favor Michigan and it’s gonna cost folks some bank. Pervert State 26 Weasels 23
(Eye roll - yes, Jimmy Harbawl, we know you were cheated. Again.)

Patrick: Pennsylvania State University 23 University of Michigan 21

Jon: I don’t think Penn State has the offense to pull this off. Their defense might hold Michigan at bay, but the Weasels are a more complete team and pull this out in the fourth quarter. Michigan 28, Penn State 24

Rutgers (+7) at Indiana

Jill: When in doubt, pick the home team? Hoosiers 34 Rutgers 27

Nate M: Rutgers should win. They will.

Mike: Indiana can’t possibly be offended enough by Rutgers to win this week. Rutgers 30, Hoosiers 24

Andy: These guys are a combined 1-9 over their last 5 games. This game is the equivalent of a dive bar bathroom in a Tarantino movie. Someone’s going to be leading 20-19 with 8 seconds to go and fumble slap a snap in the victory formation -23 yards out of the back of their own end zone for a safety. Congrats, Rutgers! Knights 21 Whose Ears? 20

Patrick: Rutgers University 27 University of Indiana 21

Jon: I have come to hate Indiana. Rutgers 38, Indiana 10

Purdue (+20) at Ohio State

Jill: Does Purdue have another upset left or have they used up all their land mines? I suspect the latter. The Buckeyes are looking for style points and they didn’t get them vs the Huskers. I started off thinking 20 points was too big a spread, but talked myself into something close to it... Buckeyes 38 Boilers 19

Nate M: Purdue will make it close. They will.

Mike: Purdue is back to scaring teams again. But not this week. Buckeyes 49, Boilers 24

Andy: OK, I think bookies here are just hoping rooks will see the marquee and go…meh, Buckeye blowout. Purdue’s not playing like a 20 point dog right now, though. And their most recent common opponent suggests a closer game. Bucknuts 28 Boilers 24

Patrick: The Ohio State University 37 Purdue University 17

Jon: Ohio State remembers the Boilers knocked them out of the playoff a few years ago. That will not happen again any time soon. Buckeyes 42 Boilers 24

Northwestern (+25) at Wisconsin

Jill: DON’T WATCH THIS. DON’T ALLOW ANYONE YOU LOVE TO WATCH THIS. Badgers by a bunch.

Nate M: Northwestern will injury the entire Wisconsin team (not serious injuries, just the types that will have the players out one week) so Nebraska has a chance next week.

Mike: No reason this should be that close. Bucky jumps all around all afternoon. Badgers 38, NW 6

Andy: Sweet mother, Jill stole my thunder. Would you let your 8-year-old watch The Conjuring? Wiscy 51 NW 10

Patrick: University of Wisconsin 31 Northwestern 9

Jon: Wisconsin is figuring things out. They’ll figure out more today. Wisconsin 82 Northwestern 5