Check out the Nebraska Adidas Ultraboost 1.0 DNA Running Shoe

Don’t fool yourself. You need these.

By Jon Johnston@CornNation Sep 8, 2020, 2:36pm CDT

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

You’re sitting at home all the time. You don’t go out to dinner. You don’t go out to bars. You don’t have Nebraska football. You’re not spending money on anything. I know this because I’m you.

I know you’d look at a $180 pair of Adidas shoes in a regular year and go, “$180 for a pair of shoes! I remember when I walked uphill to school both ways in a blinding snowstorm leading my horse that my shoes only cost 75 cents! Those were the good ol’ days.”

Then you’d sigh. A big, heavy sigh that irritates your children.

Next, you’d think, “I don’t spend a damned bit of money on myself”, and “Why shouldn’t I have these incredibly RED shoes? Not only will they help rescuers find me in the snow when I get lost, but they are SO RED they might actually melt the snow around me in the blizzard and save my life!”

And then you buy them.

They just came out this weekend. The kids would say “They dropped this weekend”, but I honestly don’t get the jargon. You can argue about it in the comments section.

NOTE: Orders containing this product will be shipped no later than Thursday, September 10th.