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Face the Facts: Why Your Favorite Regional Pizza Chain is Overrated

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Adams Morgan’s famous “jumbo slice pizza” at Pizza Mart
Fidel Nataren slices the famous jumbo slice pizza at Pizza Mart in Adams Morgan on August 14, 2015 in Washington, DC.
Jonathan Newton / The Washington Post via Getty Images

We bring you our final installment of “Face the Facts.” We have already gone after your favorite Nebraska fast-food restaurants, your favorite national fast food chain, your favorite frozen pizza chain, and your favorite national pizza chain.

Up today is our final review installment of the series on why your favorite regional pizza chain is overrated.


Godfather’s Pizza

Nebraska’s own! It has a doughy crust and a lot of cheese. Fairly decent sauce and the toppings are usually somewhat fresh. You can get this fine pizza at either their restaurants or at gas stations. Very glad to see this operation has expanded to other means of distribution. If you really can’t think of what pizza place to go to, this can always suffice before passing out from a carb coma. There is always regrets with this pizza.

Valentino’s Pizza

Nebraska’s own! It has a doughy crust and a lot of cheese. Fairly decent sauce and the toppings are usually somewhat fresh. You can get this fine pizza at either their restaurants or at Husker sporting events. Very glad to see this operation has expanded to other means of distribution. If you really can’t think of what pizza place to go to, this can always suffice before passing out from a carb coma. There is always regrets with this pizza.

G’s Pizzeria

This small mid-Michigan chain is a heaping slop of grease, served on top of bread coated in grease, with a cup of grease on the side in case you want something to dip it in. It is a teenager’s dream food that comes with a helpful serving of instant acne breakout. As for an adult, it is a one way ticket to indigestion along with an instance acne breakout.

G’s Pizzeria in West Branch

Jumbo Slice

The DC version of Sbarro, Jumbo Slice is the go to option for the drunk 20-something leaving the bars in Adams Morgan after last call. Why? Because it is rubbery grease. This pizza is garbage and tastes like it, hence why it is only appetizing to the person stumbling home drunk trying to minimize their looming hangover when they wake up in a few hours.

Cottage Inn

Cottage Inn is not in fact overrated. I just wanted to mention the fact they are the one truly quality pizza choice on this list.

B.C. Pizza

You probably have never heard of this northern-Michigan pizza chain. If you have, it is because you have watched ESPN’s US and World Pizza Games on ESPN3. “Best Choice Pizza,” better known as “B.C. Pizza” happens to feature the US’s 2019 1st place winner David Whisker in the category of fastest pizza box folder. David also placed 5th in the international pizza box folding competition.

As for the pizza? Well it is a fairly bland, covered in too much cheese product that has far better alternatives while still offering equally as many bad alternatives to choose from.

Gino’s/Pizano’s Pizza/Giordano’s-Chicago Deep Dish Generally

I think everybody has an opinion on Chicago Deep Dish. Go for it. They have been flushed out. I think it tastes fine but I prefer thin crust pizza. Here’s my qualm with Deep Dish. Have you ever tried eating it cold? I don’t suggest it.

Sparty: Gino’s is amazing and if you hate this pizza then you are a truly horrible person in terms of taste bud quality.

&Pizza

If you want to deal with a bunch of drunken, just out of college 20-somethings getting their drunk food fix at two am after last call, then this is the place for you! If you want good pizza at a reasonable cost, and in quantity enough to make an actual meal, then be sure not to drop-in.

Zio’s Pizza

Zio’s, Omaha’s “favorite” New York Style pizza.

Is it bad, no. Is it the greatest slice you will have, no. Will it do if you have no other place to go, sure.

There are folks who will talk until they are blue in the face about how this is the greatest pizza in Omaha or even Nebraska but the product just doesn’t back it up. It does have a good crust and sauce. The toppings are also just fine. However, you will be able to find better pizza and more importantly better New York Style pizza in the metro are (Patrick likes Franks).