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Friday Flakes: Moving Furniture Should Be A Requirement to Get Married

Yes, I am venting a bit. I feel better already.

Paul Whiteman at Home Photo by © Hulton-Deutsch Collection/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images

I can no longer prepare for marriage. I am married. However, I just had an experience in which I think I can impart some advice.

If you would like to get married, then before doing so, you and your future spouse should move furniture together. In fact, if I were King (which of course I am not) it would be a requirement for anybody to get married that they move a household’s worth of furniture from once place to another.

They would arrive at a neutral location, which is where every future couple would also have to arrive at some point and move furniture together. Think of it as a DMV of sorts. If they pass the test then they receive their marriage license.

Receiving their marriage license would not be the hard part. The hard part would be the aftermath of moving the furniture together and working through the communication issues.

This neutral location would have small entry doors and hard corners to navigate. The furniture would be awkward. They would have to navigate stairs. There would be no use of the moving straps. Nope. This is the test.

Well where did this come from?

Well my wife and I just tried moving a piece-of-you-know-what sectional from our upstairs to downstairs. There were three pieces and we moved the more awkward piece downstairs no problem. Then the longer piece decided it wanted to stay upstairs. We live in a house that is 98 years old and the doorways are a little narrower than most.

The length of the piece was not the problem. It was the height/width, which you would expect to be the same as the piece we just moved. It appeared that for some reason the width got longer as we moved it through the door. Like I said, it was a cheap piece-of-you-know-what.

I don’t suggest spending $700 on a sectional when you have kids and a dog. It doesn’t last long.

Anyways, back to the move. We tried everything. Then we realized that it wasn’t getting through the door. The next thought was trying to take it out of the house and around to go in through another door and down the stairs.

However, that would require taking the front door off the hinges as well as the storm door. It was sleeting out and I didn’t want to deal with it.

I also told my wife that if we get it outside I am not bringing it back inside. Then I offered to go get a sledge hammer and just bust it up so we could get it outside.

She said no.


Cause the kids are sleeping.


So we ended up putting the two pieces of the three piece sectional back together for the time being. The third piece is still downstairs.

Maybe this weekend we will take the doors off so we can get the sectional outside in the garage before we can call the our disposal company.

In fact, I might not call them. I might just burn it instead. I’ll invite all of my friends over to watch as we stand over six feet away from each other. They might be talking to each other with a drink in their hands.

I’ll just be smiling.

Burn. Baby. Burn.

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I share this video for only one reason. It is not to argue about divorce or father’s rights or whatever other reason this might set people off. I just hope maybe a father or future father watches this and realizes how big of a deal it is for them to be involved in their child’s life.

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