Will have to give credit where credit is due. My inspiration for this thread came from one of our loyal members of the Corn Nation community: redvalley. She said we could have a discussion of our wedding planning regrets. I could definitely dive in on that one but I thought why limit it merely to wedding planning regrets?
Now that many of us have limited our activity in some shape or form I think maybe it is a great opportunity to examine our lives.
Maybe if we take some time to think of what regrets we may have had that we can take that opportunity to take advantage of the time we have left. In some form or fashion.
We can’t have thread of regrets unless we tell you about a few of ours!
- Wedding Planning: I probably didn’t have any regrets until a few years after my wedding. I was in the wedding party of a friend from Washington, D.C. He was quite the traveler as his wedding party was made up of a guy from Nebraska (me!), Texas, France, Germany and Seattle. It was the smallest wedding I have ever been to. It was close friends and family. That’s it. It was awesome. I couldn’t get over the fact how relaxing the entire event was and how fun it was. So my regret is that I wish my wedding was with close friends and family.
- Study Abroad: While I did spend a semester in Washington, D.C. I really wish I would have used the opportunity while in college to spend at least a semester if not more in a different country. My wife spent time in Finland, a list of my other friends spent extended time in Austria, Ireland, Germany, Nicaragua, France and England. I know I am missing some. Now that I have a career and a family do you know what I want to do? Travel. Do you know what I can’t do? Go to a foreign country for 4-6 months. Damn.
- Got Married Earlier: I have been with my wife for almost 14 years. Nine of those years we have been married. We waited until after I graduated law school to get married. I knew we were going to get married several years before that point. Why did we wait? Because that seemed like that’s what other people would do? That is never a good reason to do or to not do something.
- Italy: Climbing on the roofs in Florence. Dumb.
- Lincoln: Blowing two stop-signs in the middle of Lincoln at excessive speeds. Probably my life’s biggest regret. Just embarrassing. Nobody was hurt and no property was damaged but it’s the biggest regret of my life. Somebody could have died.
Wedding Planning: We had a small wedding. An outdoor wedding, with no backup plan. It did rain earlier in the day, but we got through it largely unscathed (although the 5 minutes of “good hair time” I had only shows up in 2 of 400 wedding photos). My main regret there is not inviting a great-aunt. We decided to limit our wedding to very few people and extended family to the second-cousin and great aunt/uncle was not in our original plans. We should have invited them.
Didn’t Buy the Chevy Traverse. I am so glad we did not buy a Traverse. I bought a Ford Flex instead when I was searching for a vehicle with three rows of seats. I test drove the Traverse. The Flex is a much more awesome vehicle, especially for those that ride in the back seats. The handling, road noise and dependability have been second to none. Sorry Nate.
Study Abroad. I also wish I had done a study abroad. I wish this to a point that I had ordered Ranchhand 1 to sign up for a short-term study abroad for the summer. He resisted. Pandemic ensued. He thinks he is smarter than mom. Sigh.
Got Married Earlier. Hell no. Also quite content with waiting to have kids until I was almost 30.
More Traveling. I wish I made traveling a bigger priority and forced Ranchdude to expand his horizons more. With the current pandemic, it looks like travel options will be limited in the near future, but I am waiting for the travel deals GALORE afterward. If Ranchdude won’t travel with me, I will go without him. I have seven states to go until I have visited all fifty states and still have three continents to visit all seven. I want to do these things before I need a wheelchair.
Kristi M. (Nate M.’s Wife)
Messed Up Date for Best Friend’s Wedding: Yep. I got a call on a Friday asking where I was. I thought the wedding was on Saturday. I have apologized many times and she said she forgives me but I don’t think she ever will.
Missed Too Many of My Brother’s Events and Activities: As the older sibling the younger sibling appears to go to everything. I did not reciprocate. I should have.
Mixing Two Groups of Friends on a Trip: Went on a trip to Hawaii. I brought a couple friends from high school and a couple friends from college and lets just say it did not go well!
Let My Mom Choose Our Honeymoon: It was an opportunity to probably go anywhere we wanted. Where did we go? Niagra Falls. I keep telling my husband that I want to go to an all-inclusive resort at least once! It has yet to happen. First world problems..I know. Thankful to go on a trip at all but we let my Mom pick it for us for some reason.
The memories of my life have been shattered. I am not even sure what to say here.
I could say “I REGRET NOTHING” but that would be lame and a lie.
- I regret destroying that BMW 2002 when I was 16. Sorry Jim.
- I should have gone to the doctor when I thought I had really bad heartburn. I mean, what a dumbass in hindsight.
- There was that one girl in college whom I didn’t tell I already had a girlfriend. Then I left town without telling her goodbye and she was a close friend to me. I made the mistake of jumping from friend to something more just before I left. It was really stupid. This has bothered me for years. You have someone you love and you just treat them like trash - and you don’t realize you’re treating them like trash and then there you go, you’re off and gone and you’ve done all this damage. Shit.
- Pulling a gun on that guy in Tuscon.
Who’s idea was this?
It’s tough to say you have regrets, when you like where your life has ended up. Still.
Ending my relationship with my brother: My brother is a dysfunctional, codependent, emotionally abusive, selfish asshole. So basically a lot like me, only taller. When I could no longer take that negativity, I started calling him out on it, the result of which is we are no longer speaking. But he’s my brother, and I miss him.
Not wearing hearing protection: When I was growing up on the farm, my dad’s best friend was Dale Baldwin. Dale wore earmuffs any time he was operating equipment, and I thought it was the dumbest thing. Then I drove fast old cars around with “mufflers” on them. Then I worked in the engineering spaces of a nuclear submarine for twenty years without bothering to wear ear muffs or plugs. Now I have a 7000 dollar pair of hearing aids, and a constant screaming in my ears that the doctors say contributes to my battle with depression.
Mullet: It was summertime, and my hair needed cut badly, but we were haying. So I had my dad pull out the Wahl trimmers. Per my instructions, he cut my hair short on top under my ballcap so it would be cooler, but left the back long so it would prevent my neck from sunburn. I then proceeded to wear it like that for about three years. I had no idea what I had done until later. You will be hard pressed to ever find a picture of me from high school.
Wedding Regret: Not paying more for a photographer. We chose the one we did because she had decent pictures and wasn’t as expensive as many of the others we looked at. Engagement pictures were great. At our wedding though she had no creativity and only took one shot of poses that were requested and then didn’t edit them. She also lost all of the reception pictures except for about ten. One of the pictures I was really looking forward to had my grandma, my mom, and I with our wedding rings featured. Never saw that one.
House Regret: Not looking around more before buying my house.I like my house and my neighborhood, but there are a few things I wish I would’ve thought about before we bought it. We live on a very busy street with no sidewalks and a sloping driveway. There is no place for my kids to learn to ride bikes that really bothers me. My house is a split level. I don’t mind it now, except for the tiny entry way that I feel like is awkward when people are coming in or going out, but I worry that as my parents age it will be hard for them to get in and out of. Also, I hate having a laundry room in the basement.
Hair Regret: Letting my mom convince my multiple times to get a “cute short hair cut”. As a child I would scream as my mom brushed my hair and I think she just had enough of that, so she convinced me to cut it short. Then repeatedly through out the years she’d convince me again and again. Ugh. I’m sure I wasn’t doing the best job brushing my hair on my own and she probably just thought it would easier for me not to look like a feral child. The problem is my face was far to round a child to actually look cute with a short cut. Also, my dad and brothers called me “Brian” all the time. Like I needed another thing for them to annoy me with.
Car Regret: A few years ago at Christmastime we happened to have some orange soda at our house. My boys rarely get soda and the youngest one was only one so I’m not really sure what I was thinking, but I decided we’ll just give them a little treat and put it in their water bottles for the trip to my parents. I did not think about how a carbonated drink would spray all over out of a water bottle with a straw. I now have big sprays of orange soda all over the light gray roof of my car. At the time my husband said that when we got a new vehicle we would be keeping the one I have, so I wasn’t too worried. He has since changed his mind and now I’m trying to figure out how to get this off the roof of my car.
Not keeping short term disability until I was done having kids: Before I got pregnant with my first child I took out a short term disability and hospital confinement insurance plan. My son ended up being born in late February and I had a lot of sick leave built up at that point. I was able to take off the entire rest of the school year except for the last week of school and got to have nearly a six month maternity leave with out losing money. I canceled the insurance after that and figured I’d just pick it up again before we decided to have another child. Long story short, I didn’t. He was born in July so I felt like it’d be fine and I’d get long enough with him without having to take a lot of days off. I didn’t really have a lot of days to take. I ended up getting nine weeks, which I know is a lot more than many get, but I wish I would’ve taken more.