You know what? Straight up the ghost of Urban Meyer’s butt with a long intro; let’s go right to making some lists. Nothing more fun to do than read some sports lists on the crapper and if you know me at all, you know I’m trying to entertain those who get their daily news while cooling their other cheeks on fine porcelain.
What’s that? Urban Meyer’s not dead? Well, damn, I can dream. And as often as he howls about life-threatening illnesses while lying his way out of another mess...well, damn again. Karma could’ve at least had cancer drag one of his nuts into the trash can.
Alright, I rambled a little, but that’s not bad for me. Let’s rock:
THE GOOD - BLACKSHIRTS vs PENN ST & MORE
The Blackshirts got handed out and I feel really good about it for the first time in...well, a long damn time.
- I know, I know, they gave up 501 yards to Penn St. but let’s dig a little deeper. Despite a few long drives in the 1st half, they held the pre-season #8 team to 6 points. (That sounds so much better than 0-3 going on 0-4 Penn St.)
- The Cam Taylor-Britt pick and 55-yard return and the Deontai Williams forced fumble, recovery scoop & score won the game. Period. End of sentence.
- Going back a week, they held Northwestern to 317 yards and Myles Farmer grabbed two picks. If the offense doesn’t match the turnover over total and crap down their leg in the red zone repeatedly, the Huskers win it going away and those shirts are handed out a week earlier.
- OK, back one more - the 52-17 score didn’t represent how I felt about the effort against the semi-pro Ohio St. Buckeyes. At halftime, this was a GAME and the boys put some decent pressure on uber-star Justin Fields and even sacked him a few times. And if
THOSE GODDAMNED M*****F***IN’ GREG-BURKS-DAN-BEEBE-LUVIN’-WEEP-ON-ANY-HARD-CONTACT DIRTY ZEB-(Editor: sorry, give us a few minutes)
TARGETING MY ASS AND YOUR MOTH-
- And finally, those last two goal line stands. After being shoved around and worn out by that Nittany Lion pipeline while the ’Sker offense did Wandale 175 lb. dives, threw 6 1⁄2 yard bombs and generally tried to back the car in the garage with a lead again, we kept waiting for a lay back and let ‘em pick us clean approach a la Cosgrove, Pap & Banker, maybe a flailing pass interference or two if we did manage to get a couple incompletes.
But... (Full disclosure, I’ll never love the 3-4). They attacked. And attacked. And blitzed. From this way. Then that way. And on the last 4th down, the Nittaninnies never had a chance. Tired? Who cares, we’re comin’!
The defense said we may have the lead, we may be tired, we may still have more holes than all the whorehouses in 1890 Deadwood, but if we’re going down, we’re putting the gas to floor and going down swinging.
The offense should take notice and get on board. Which leads us to..
THE BAD - I DON’T REMEMBER ALL THESE WR-DIVES AGAINST MEMPHIS, AKA THAT WILD-ASS UCF STUFF CAN START ANYTIME NOW
Austin Allen is our leading receiver and our QB’s are our leading rushers. Are there other warning signs our offense has issues?
- We’ve been outscored 59-3 in the second half so far. (Yeah, that’s a solid one)
- We replaced our 2-year starting QB and things changed. For about a quarter then they stayed the same. (To be fair, 1st start and he isn’t playing with the same trepidation as Adrian on passing plays.)
- Dedrick Mills only has 95 yards through 3 games. Take out the Penn St. game due to an early injury and 47.5 YPG is still FAR fewer than we were expecting.
- We seem to be loath to throw a pass deeper than 7 yards downfield.
- When Mills went down, we decided to pound the ball with 172 lbs of Wan’Dale and leave Marvin Scott III, Ronald Thompkins, Rahmir Johnson & Sevion Morrison on the bench.
- Despite Xavier Betts busting one of our only long plays of the year and Marcus Fleming & Alante Brown having shown they can contribute, they were ghosts in the 2nd half last Saturday.
- We can probably add the 5-yard-cross, but on 3rd & 5-10 for the Huskers in the 2nd half, how many of you and your friends have a running $5 “screen or QB draw” bet going with a carry-over and re-ante if anything else is called. And you haven’t carried over more than once since opening kickoff in Columbus.
- Adrian is averaging over 7 yards per carry (obviously full speed again even if not full pass), Dedrick got hurt, and we didn’t use him at all last Saturday.
- Do #’s 3-8 suggest a certain - hesitation - on someone’s part?
- I am not from the Fire Scott Frost crowd. I am not a Riley-weenie who thinks his 1st records are a reason to fire him. I do believe he hesitates at times now because it means 500 times more to him than Central Florida ever did. As furred up as we get after late-gagging one against NW, Iowa, whoever, it keeps him up later than us.
- It was easier to “GO FOR IT” at UCF. No offense to the good folks there, but Scotty wasn’t letting the home state down if that shovel-pass-hook & pitch option went south in the middle of Everglades. He’s got the stuff. UCF wasn’t a fluke. Oregon’s offense cruised after Chip Kelly left. It Titanic’d for a bit after Scott left.
- Find that inner F**k it I’m Goin’ Deep. Unleash the kids if the talent’s there and coach ‘em up when they screw up. Send ‘em off at 100% and unafraid to fail. Don’t try to conservative (yes, I made it a verb) your way to victory. Put your foot on their throats with a Luke to Adrian to Xavier to beat Iowa a la Thunder to Stuntz to Crouch. Or something. Call anything that involves a pass, two pitches and has some serious-sounding military terminology.
- Being against this line of thinking means you cheered for David Simms over Roy McAvoy in Tin Cup and I don’t even want to know you. (Yes, I know Roy drowned most of his eggs and finished 10th. Put that in the comments and I want to know you even less.)
THE UGLY - AUNT ESTHER
- Live forever, Fred Sanford.