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A Non-Rival Get Together: THE CORN NATION Q&A With Colorado

Nope, nothing to see here, this game never means anything to either side, nope nope. But Jack Barsch of the Ralphie Report agreed to answer a few of our questions anyway.

Colorado v Nebraska
You bastards.
Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

So the second of our two home-and-home games with Colorado has arrived, albeit with a little more trepidation after what could most generously be described as a “work in progress” against South Alabama. People in earshot after the game were not generous such as one sweet-looking older lady in Husker sweatshirt who referred to the effort as a “giant steaming pile of camel shit”.

Ah, opinions vary but no matter, it’s off to Boulder where fan focus seems to be directed to two areas:

  1. Pulling a stadium takeover a la the Husker visit to South Bend with Eric Crouch and
  2. Revenge for Adrian Martinez’ knee.

However, as always, we want to hear thoughts from other side. Jack Barsch of the The Ralphie Report was generous enough to take the time to answer a few questions from the lowlands.

How many Nebraska football fans will be in attendance for the game on Saturday? If there are substantially more than your estimate, do you agree to shave your head? If you are bald, will you agree to draw in hair with a sharpie?

I’ve found the flaw in your question! If I guess in bad faith and say that 60k Husker fans are coming down, I avoid any consequences. So that’s my guess. I’m definitely NOT guessing 10k.

View of Team Prayer
Going to The House That Rockne Built and turning it into the Sea of Red

Would you truly “rather be dead than red?” Seems rather excessive amirite?

Would I rather be dead than root for Nebraska? Probably not. Would I rather be dead than sunburnt all over my body, to the point where my skin is bright red? I’ve faced that situation, and that’s a toss up.

Besides the professional sports teams, beautiful mountains, lakes and streams, and access to recreational marijuana (if you’re into that sort of thing) - is there really anything different about Colorado and Nebraska?

One is shaped like a true rectangle, while one is a rectangle that gave up about halfway through. I think that covers about all the differences.

Would yourather have Colorado beat Nebraska and go winless thereafter or win a National Championship but lose to Nebraska?

Second one, absolutely. I am so sick of the hemming and hawing over the 1990 championship just because of ONE completely fluke play that should have ruined it all. Another banner would be nice.

Does the fact that Nebraska’s offense looked terrible against a bad South Alabama make you smile?

It’s like you’re reading my mind! Every incompletion that Adrian Martinez turned the edges of my mouth upwards. Every time the center got pushed back five yards, I broke out a full on grin.

We know that Colorado has a good quarterback and a great wide receiver. Are there any other players on the offensive side of the ball that we should be looking out for?

Those are the main two players, but I’ll run through some more of the supporting cast. CU uses tight ends now! Brady Russell and Jalen Harris combined for four catches and a touchdown, which one more touchdown than a TE scored all of last year (and almost as many catches). Watch for Russell and his flowing mane to fly around the field. Alex Fontenot has a great debut as a starting RB, I would expect him to get a lot of snaps back there.

Colorado State v Colorado Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images

What is a great place to get a bite to eat either before or after the game in Boulder?

Ah, a great question. There are plenty of options for fine dining in Boulder, but game day grub is a different category for me. The Sink is a Boulder icon that has some nice options, Backcountry Pizza is close to the stadium, and half fast subs has cheap beverages. Plenty of options around! There are plenty more knowledgeable locals than me, so don’t trust me too much.

Okay, someone has to ask - was Adrian Martinez’s injury last year a result of dirty play?

You have to ask, I have to answer. Big 10 said it was clean, the Pac-12 said it was clean, so I’ll say it was clean. I did appreciate the Zapruder film level analysis that Husker fans put into that replay. Rivalries are special.