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CornNation Loses Your Money: Huskers vs. Ohio State Edition

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We call our prediction series “CornNation Loses Your Money” for a reason...

Ohio State v Nebraska Photo by Eric Francis/Getty Images

Mike: Any remaining questions about why GameDay chose Lincoln can be answered by simply looking at the schedule. What a craptastic weekend of college football; heck, the best games probably are on Friday night.

Patrick: Gone last week. What did I miss? Yeah, it’s bad Mike, it’s bad.

Jill: Wait, what? Game Day is coming to Lincoln?

Nate M: I think Jon should be the guest picker.

SpartyOnHuskers: Multiple horses were sacrificed for the kingdom last weekend and it leaves me in a much better mental place. What’s a “GameDay” and why is it in Lincoln, though?

Andy: Not exactly a slate of games to raise the tentpoles but what the hell. Still beats watching cars drive in circles.

Uglydog56: Sex, football, pizza. What do these three things have in common?

Friday Night

Penn State (-6.5) at Maryland

Patrick: “The tears of the world are a constant quantity. For each one who begins to weep somewhere else another stops. The same is true of the laugh.”― Samuel Beckett (Waiting for Godot) Pennsylvania State University 32 University of Maryland 14

Jill: I’m going to pick the Terrapins. They probably won’t win and I don’t have a good reason to do it, except I feel like being difficult. MD 34 PSU 31

Nate M: Maryland started out of the gate blazing and looking like a really good team. Then they came back down to earth. Penn State keeps them there. They win and cover.

SpartyOnHuskers: Terps keep it competitive but the shells prove to get in the way. Sort of hoping they refuse to shake hands again for the entertainment value. Penn St 35 Terps 24

Mike: Did Maryland flame out after just two games? Nah, I just think they got ahead of themselves. Now the opposite situation applies, having to chew on a loss to Temple for two weeks. Mad Turtles 38, Nitts 35

Andy: Maryland’s done that Maryland thing where they win 2-4 with blowouts and/or an upset of Texas that makes everyone go, whoa, look out for Maryland. Then 6-6 or 7-5 or 5-7. Same old, same old. Rape U 31 Mary Land 20

Uglydog56: I am contractually obligated to cheer for Maryland, since I swore I would to get those wins against Texas. But that might not be enough this weekend. If this was pizza, there would probably be black olives on it - edible but not really good.

Friday Night

Arizona State (+4.5) at California

Patrick: “Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.”― Samuel Beckett University of California at Berkeley 27 Arizona State University 23

Jill: /checks Mike’s statement about a crappy slate of games. //Agrees

I though Arizona State sorta good and I know nothing about Cal. PAC12AfterDark means everyone wins! Sun Devils by 7

Nate M: Arizona State wins because they “play to win the game.”

SpartyOnHuskers: You guys are just trolling me leaving ASU in the pickings every week. I can respect that. The football god in the sky doesn’t want me to have nice things. Sidenote, I would absolutely love someday to attend a game at Cal after visiting their stadium this past spring. ASU 17 Cal 28

Mike: Nobody around here is staying up to watch the end of this one, because it’s an early wakeup call for GameDay. Herm’s bunch will bounce back after dropping a turd against the Buffies the week before. (We know the feeling.) Sparky 31, Bearsh 28 (Can anybody from the Bay Area actually speak with a Chicago accent???)

Andy: If the old farts try to do Gameday AND a 630 kickoff? Not happening, get ready for cheap scalping. Anyway, this game is stupid. Cal 27 The Screaming Herms 25

Uglydog56: This is a hard one to generate any excitement for. If this was pizza, it would be lukewarm Little Caesar's plain cheese.

Minnesota (-1) at Purdue

Patrick: “Memories are killing. So you must not think of certain things, of those that are dear to you, or rather you must think of them, for if you don’t there is the danger of finding them, in your mind, little by little.”― Samuel Beckett Purdue University 17 University of Minnesota 15

Jill: Before the season started I thought this might be a good game and fun to watch. Now, I imagine someone beating a boat oar against a train car that is sitting abandoned behind a big building that is falling apart. Everyone loses.

Nate M: Still not a believer in Minnesota. Purdue wins by 10 or more.

SpartyOnHuskers: Purdon’t gonna Purdon’t. Boat Rowers Gophers 28 Purdon’t 17

Mike: Purdue’s Elijah Sindelar is still recovering from a concussion, but it doesn’t really matter. The Goofers play to the level of their competition, then find a way to pull a rabbit out of Fleck’s boat at the last minute. Goofers 32, Purdon’t Win 27

Andy: Seven Hells, I’m slapping myself to stay awake! My forehead just hit the keyboard and some key between rewind and emoji/alphabet is gone. I’ve no friggin’ clue what it is. Purdue 38 Boat Rowers 35

Uglydog56: Without Sindelar at 100%, Purdue doesn't have the firepower to get this done. If this game was pizza, it would be some greasy-assed Casey's sausage pizza that's sat under the heat lamps for three hours.

Stanford (-4.5) at Oregon State

Patrick:“The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.”― Samuel Beckett Stanford University 23 Oregon State University 22

Jill: LOLOLOL! Who’s picking this OSU? Not me. Tree by 10.

Nate M: My second favorite team in the United States of America is Stanford. They haven’t looked good this year, but then neither has Oregon State. Stanford by a TD.

SpartyOnHuskers: This matchup makes a 2018 Mark Dantonio offense look appealing to watch. Whatever their actual mascot is Nerds 10 Beavers 14 state of Oregon breaks out the brooms

Mike: Stanford is really struggling this year, but not THIS bad. Tree 26, Beavers 17

Andy: This is a Riley thing, right? Stanford 30 Hairy Beavers 13

Uglydog56: Manball vsNebraska's leftovers. I'll take the Tree. If this game was pizza, it would be some artisinal thing with broccoli on it, no tomato sauce, and probably a gluten free cauliflower crust.

Ohio State (-17) at Nebraska

Patrick:“Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for one the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. The tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflexion, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thickets. But that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in the immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come -- ”― Samuel Beckett (Waiting for Godot) The Ohio State University 42 University of Nebraska 31

Jill: I can’t pick the Huskers. Even my optimistic self doesn’t see how a turnover-prone team that has problems in the red zone on both offense and defense can stop the Buckeye train. Bucks by 14.

Nate M: Geesh. We are already to this game? That was fast. I have said that if Nebraska loses by less than 20 then we should be satisfied. My only hope is that Justin Fields has NEVER played anywhere on the road in an environment like Nebraska. You really never know how somebody is going to react to that. With that said, I still think there is too much talent and speed at Ohio State. Unless we get a heroic game from JD Spielman and/or Wan’Dale then I think Martinez is going to have trouble throwing the ball. Hopefully we can run it. I probably echo a two touchdown loss by Nebraska. If that is so, then dust yourself off as we have shown we have made progress.

SpartyOnHuskers: aOSU wins the coin toss and methodically but quickly marches down the field for a TD and never looks back. Huskers win the coin toss, get -2 yards on the first play, a run, throw for a first down on the next, then end up punting on ensuing downs. aOSU then does what I just said would happen if they started with the ball. On a random tangent, don’t forget that the state of O*** is so truly god-awful that they have the most number of humans who become astronauts just to get the hell out of that state to the south. Buckeyes 62 Huskers 41

Mike: On paper, the Buckeyes should roll the Big Red. But what gives me hope is that if Iowa can take Ohio State behind the outhouse in 2017, Nebraska certainly can in 2019. I wouldn’t bet on it though. But Gameday is in town, it’s going to cool and maybe a bit moist like in 2011, so you never know. Head says Aosu 45, Huskers 24. Heart says Big Red 49, Bucknuts 20.

Andy: I would love to pick the upset, I really, really would and it would hinge on Justin Fields being a key player for the first time in an environment like the one he will see Saturday night.

The only problem is he doesn’t have to be and I think Ryan Day has more than enough weapons that he can ease Fields into the game and not have to put it on his shoulders early while the well-oiled crowd is howling themselves into Advil city. I believe the Huskers, who outgained the Illini 674-299, will pop some plays and put some points on the Buckeyes. I believe the Blackshirts will snag a couple turnovers.

But, I also believe it won’t enough. Day is a heck of a coach and I think there’s more focus in Columbus with Urban’s lying, head-grabbing circus gone. It’s hopefully a night for few cold frosty ones with friends, some singing of Cinnamon Girl and another valiant Husker effort but - Ohio St. 38 Nebraska 34

Uglydog56: Mistakes will soon the Huskers in an ignominious defeat in front of a national audience. This game is few years from being winnable. It will happen eventually. If this game was pizza, it would be an otherwise perfect pizza that you spilled half a shaker of red pepper flakes on - it's going to hurt like hell tomorrow, but you're going to eat it anyhow.