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Big Ten Media Days: Question We’d Ask If We Were There Part 1

It is probably a good thing we won’t be there

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: JUL 24 Big Ten Football Media Days Photo by Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Big Ten football media days, #B1GMediaDay for you Twitternati, will be held July 18 and 19 in Chicago. The first coach up on Thursday will be Scott Frost (at noon). We won’t be there (Cobby got a hold of the bank account number for the travel funds) but if we were, here’s the questions we’d ask.

Thursday Schedule

11:15 am Jim Delany, Big Ten Commissioner

Now that your replacement is hired, do you sometimes just put a cardboard cutout in your office and take off and go fishing instead?

Is it true you have the Rose Bowl tattooed on your heart?

Rutgers, really?

11:45 Francois McGillicuddy, Big Ten Network President

Which room do you keep all the TV money in and can we go in and roll around in it? Or, are only the athletic directors allowed to do that?

When does the Big Ten plan to poach Southern Cal for the LA TV market?

What is the plan for distribution to the Moon and Mars when Purdue alumni eventually establish colonies in those locations?

Is Rutgers considered boutique television due to its small but avid cult following?

12:00 pm Scott Frost - Nebraska

You think you could actually get to a bowl game this year?

So, Coach - Copenhagen, Skoal, Grizzly, or Redman?

Have you considered growing a beard?

Has the Athletic Department explored supporting grassroots campaigns for marijuana legalization?

Now that you plan to video tape us asking questions, will you be reviewing the film with each of us and offer critiques on our form?

How does it feel to be only the second coach since Bob Devaney to go 4-8?

Does Iowa ever try and report you for offering every high school player in America?

How many times did you guys send video to Mike Riley and Shawn Eichorst of players doing squats?

12:15 pm Lovie Smith - Illinois

Admit it, your beard is really the defensive coordinator, isn’t it?

Are you going to ask for an extension if you finish 5th in the division when everyone’s preseason picks are “The Big Ten West is wide open, anyone but Illinois could win it?”

When the game is on the line and you just need 3 yards for a first down, do you tell your punter to kick it left or squib kick?

How expensive were those USC transfers?

12:30 pm Mark Dantonio - Michigan State

How happy are you that Nebraska isn’t on your schedule this year?

With Michigan looking good again, will MSU revert to settling for bowl games?

Is your offense some secret experiment for testing the limits of human football viewing pain thresholds?

Is Rocky Lombardi a real person or is he the football player version of George P. Purdell?

12:45 pm - That guy that coaches at Indiana

What’s your name again?

Why is Indiana always so bad on defense?

1:00 pm PJ Fleck - Minnesota

Have you had lunch with Jerry Kill lately?

Do you miss Kalamazoo, MI and the soul you left there when you sold out?

How many resumes have you sent to Southern Cal?

How much money have you made off your oars?

1:15 pm Mike Locksley - Maryland

Is medication required in order to be able to look at those football uniforms every day?

Did Maryland really just hire you because you once touched Nick Saban?

Are you allowed to touch Nick Saban when you are an assistant coach at ‘Bama?

1:30 pm Ryan Day - Ohio State

Is it okay if we just call you “Not Urban Meyer?”

How many times a day do you call Urban Meyer for advice?

Did you just leave Urban Meyer’s name plate on the door and hope no one notices that you are not Urban Meyer?

We’ll have Part 2 tomorrow (that one will include the coaches who are set to speak on Friday).

There you have it Corn Nation! What questions would you ask? Let us know in the comments!