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Nebraska Inspired Recipes: Czech Ham Roll-Ups

This had a somewhat unexpected twist.

Horrible picture. I know. I was busy. Anywho...

This recipe was submitted by a reader. His grandma always brought these ham roll-ups to their family gatherings.

The Process

It is as simple as can be from my point of view which is why I appreciated the submission. Place a large bowl on the counter. Open up a package of softened cream cheese.

Walk back ten paces.

Using a slow-pitch softball technique, gently toss the cream cheese into the bowl. Do not use the over-hand technique as it will force feed too many midi-chlorians into the cream cheese.

Next pour the entire container of creamy horseradish sauce into the bowl.

Do not use a utensil to pour the horseradish sauce out. You must instead however, use your palm to pound the bottom of container.

Are you getting frustrated because the creamy horseradish sauce won’t come out? Goooooood. Feel the hate. The hate will make you strong.

Then pour in some cream.


Take the slices of bacon on consume. Bacon is delicious.

Then take slices of ham and spread the new mixture over the ham. Then look to your right.

Then your left.

Then your right.

Then grab the opened container of pickles in your fridge and throw it in the trash. Pickles are awful.

Then roll the ham up and place in the fridge. After an unspecified amount of time cut the ham rolls into inch to half-an-inch slices.

Take a bite.

Then realize that the pickles are necessary even though you hate pickles.

Swallow pride. Then walk back to the trash and pick the container out of the trash can. Open the jar. Take a wiff.

It smells horrible. Smells like pickles.

Unroll the rollups (that haven’t been cut) and add the pickles. Then slice.



I’ve had my fair share of ham roll-ups. They are usually delicious. This was no exception.

There is a fair amount of heat from the horseradish which I enjoy.

And unfortunately you need the pickle.

Verdict from Others

Wife: With the pickle. They are very good. Without the pickle, the horseradish cream mixture was too wrong. The pickle gives you that crunch.

Friend-Male: It’d be a good snack. I like it. It’s good. I actually don’t like horseradish as much.

Friend-Woman: It’s good, but you have to like horseradish.

Their nine year old: I thought they were really good. It was really spicy.

Their six year old: It was gross.

My three year old: No.

My six year old: It was too hot. I didn’t like it.

Here’s The Recipe

Czech Ham Roll Ups

8 oz. cream cheese

1 sm jar creamy horseradish

3 T cream/milk

Ham slices

Beat 2/3 of the jar of creamy horseradish until creamy. Add cream/milk. Spread onto ham slices and roll up. You may

add a small dill pickle to the ham and cream and roll up.

Chill for a few hours or overnight. Cut into 1/2” slices and serve.