clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Black Hole Photo? No, Just God Laughing At Iowa Football

The universe works in mysterious ways.

National Science Foundation Holds News Conference On First Results From Event Horizon Telescope Project Photo by National Science Foundation via Getty Images

Much of humanity saw yesterday’s news that scientists have created the first image of a black hole in outer space. This has been heralded as a huge gain in astrophysics, the ushering in a new age of exploration and knowledge.

You could take it from the science perspective, but you could take another view as well.

You could take it that God created the universe and everything in it, so things like this image of that black hole are no coincidence but a sign from God and he’s trying to tell us something.

Note that the black hole looks like a giant zero. Note also that the scientists in charge of the imaging process chose black and yellow to represent the black hole so that it would be more visible. Black and yellow? Looks like a color close to gold to me.

Black holes are known for their suck. They are so massive and so dense that not even light can escape the suck that they are.

Let’s Review - The Black Hole is:

Black and gold. (Close enough)

A giant ball of suck, in fact, the biggest suck in all the universe.

A ginormous zero floating in space. That zero could stand for national titles (real national titles, not those where you go back and retroactively grant yourselves titles so you feel better about your empty trophy case), spring games played this season, and the intelligence quotient of people within a determined border.

Add all that up, and what do you get?


Remember that transmissions from this black hole take millions of years to reach the earth. If it were to change to a giant “1” (as if Iowa would win a national title), it would take millions of years to be seen.

Therefore, Iowa doesn’t just suck right now, but has always sucked and will continue to suck millions of years into the future.