ASUN unofficial election results show support for balloon release | News | dailynebraskan.com

A higher voter turnout for the 2019 Association of Students of the University of Nebraska voted to keep the balloon release at Husker home football games, ban plastic bags and slate party candidates together.

AH!!!!!!

Spring football practice has started and we get to hear glory stories including the phrases “he’s the real deal”, “best ever/highest potential at his position”, “best I’ve ever coached” repeatedly until the spring game. It’s not a bad thing. It’s what we expect from the media. We want to consume sugary, gooey stuff and they are more than happy to feed it to us.

Everyone is an All-American right now. Every team is undefeated.

It’s also the time of year in which we start rehashing the same cheesy story ideas.

Who’s on Husker Mount Rushmore? (as if this would have changed in the last year)

Who’s Your Favorite Former Player to bring back and play now?

If you had a play to do over from the past, what play would you choose? (NOT A GAME, JERK WAD, A SINGLE PLAY AND NOT EVERYONE GETS TO PICK TOM GOING FOR TWO)

Then there’s the RED BALLOON RELEASE TRADITION. Discussion on this usually waits until May or June, but the student body forced us this serious topic to the forefront of Husker fandom by pulling it out in March!

According to the article by the DN, a slight majority - 51.9% - voted to retain the environmentally unsound RED BALLOON RELEASE TRADITION. Note that the results are not yet official. There might be more ballots hidden somewhere in a corner, in a season tickets holder’s trunk, and no one has brought up the possibility of hanging Chad.

Plastic bags are banned. Husker fans can keep right on consuming the precious resource that is helium and killing innocent animals as wildlife gets tangled in humanity’s trash. Such a vote is a metaphor for our lives - inconsistent messaging and the idea that we can trade a virtue for vanity so we can feel better about ourselves.

The defense of the balloon release is that “They’re biodegradable”. You know what else is biodegradable? Cigarette butts and plutonium. It’s just a matter of time. That defense allows us to rationalize holding on to a truly outdated tradition as we litter the world with more trash.

I understand our need to hang on to our traditions, even one so antiquated. We haven’t won much lately (“lately” being roughly two decades), so everything that connects us to the past must be held so tightly... like a little bunny that got its neck entangled in your balloon string, where it landed, somewhere you don’t see and you don’t care because you don’t see. Even if you did see, you’d probably just tell that bunny to move its tree-hugging ass to California.

You know what would be better?

Fan flinging.

Before the game, the athletic department chooses a section of the stadium at random. That section then selects the fan in their section they hate the most. That fan is given an honored seat in the stadium, but at the first touchdown (TOUCHDOWN NOT SCORE YOU DIRT BAGS,, THEIR FLING SHOULD HAVE SOME MEANING), that fan is put into a giant flinger and thrown directly into Oldfather Hall.

Just in case you forget what a fling is:

Don’t lie to me. Don’t lie to yourselves. You all know that one sonofabitch (“sonofabitch” in this case being non-gender specific) in your section the world would like to be rid of. You know the guy (“guy” being non-gender specific) that starts every argument with “I’ve been to every Husker home game since 1843” and loudly exclaims at the end of every failed third and short that he knew the play was doomed because they weren’t running the option or using a fullback. Imagine that bastard (“bastard” being non-gender specific) flying through the air and stopping on the side of Oldfather. It would be glorious.

It would add a uniqueness to Memorial Stadium’s Game Day no other stadium has.

And it would leave innocence little animals out of your need for release when Nebraska scores.

Husker Hockey Stream Friday Night

Last week Greg and I interviewed Reed Fuller on the Five Heart Podcast. You should listen if you haven’t had the chance already.

They are playing Friday night. Below is the schedule, along with a link to a free stream.

Big Ten Wrestling Tournament

Wrestling Postview: #1 Penn State Nittany Lions Pins Buffalo Bulls on Senior Day, 47-3. - Black Shoe Diaries

The squad has weighed in, and aggressively attacks weights 125 - 157 of this weekend’s Big Ten Wrestling Tournament.

The Big Ten Wrestling Tournament is at the U of MN this weekend. I plan to be there as a photographer. I am obviously not the best analyst for wrestling, but I am going to give it a shot (photography joke there) and we’ll see how I do.

Unfortunately, the forecast calls for much more snow this weekend. I’m sure it will make travel fun even though there shouldn’t be a “rush hour” happening.

News

Huskers Gear Up for NCAA Indoor Championships - Huskers.com - Nebraska Athletics Official Web Site
A trio of Nebraska track and field student-athletes will be competing at the NCAA Indoor Championships in Birmingham, Alabama this weekend.

Nebraska’s entries in the meet are Mayson Conner (high jump), Jared Seay (heptathlon) and Angela Mercurio (triple jump). Mercurio is making her second appearance at the NCAA Indoor Championships, while the rest of the Huskers will be competing there for the first time. Mercurio finished 15th in the triple jump last season with a mark of 40-7 1/2 (12.38m) to earn second-team All-America honors.

Former Husker Center Dies at 63 - Huskers.com - Nebraska Athletics Official Web Site
Tom Davis, a first-team All-American in 1977 who coach Tom Osborne at the time said was the best center Nebraska ever had, died Tuesday at an assisted living facility in Denver, his family confirmed. He was 63.

Conner Aiming High at NCAA - Huskers.com - Nebraska Athletics Official Web Site
Big Ten champion Mayson Conner eyes a top eight finish in the high jump in his first time competing at the NCAA Indoor Championships,

Virga Competes For National Title - Huskers.com - Nebraska Athletics Official Web Site
Senior Hannah Virga will travel to Morgantown, W. Va. this weekend to contend for an individual national title at the 2019 NCAA Collegiate Men’s and Women’s Rifle Championships. Virga will compete in the air rifle discipline, which begins at 7 a.m. CT on Saturday, Mar. 9. Match action for smallbore will begin a day earlier on Mar. 8 at 7 a.m.

Iowa Football’s Reese Morgan to Retire - Black Heart Gold Pants

Morgan has been with the team since 2000

He’s been the defensive line coach for the past seven years.

Ohio State football 2019 offensive preview and depth chart predictions - Land-Grant Holy Land
Our full offensive film breakdown and depth chart predictions for the Buckeye offense.

Ohio State football 2019 dffensive preview and depth chart predictions - Land-Grant Holy Land
We’ve got you covered for everything you need to know about the 2019 Silver Bullets.

Maryland athletics has implemented most recommendations made following Jordan McNair’s death - Testudo Times
The athletic department met with an advisory board to discuss the changes Wednesday.

New NCAA, Big Ten Bowl Tie-Ins: Las Vegas Bowl in, Holiday Bowl out - Off Tackle Empire
WatchStadium’s Brett McMurphy noted a raft of changes to the 2020 (note: not 2019) bowl game schedule which change the conference’s travel calculus after the College Football Playoff and top-tier bowl games like the Citrus Bowl and Outback Bowl.

Mike Leach: "If you can do it in high school, you can do it anywhere else" - FootballScoop
Leach goes on to share what he sees as the snobbiness among NFL coaches who think the talent in the NFL is just too elite for a scheme like the Air Raid, sharing some funny impressions of just how he views them in the process.

Then There’s This

Alex Trebek announces he has Stage Four Pancreatic Cancer.

I lost my dad and one of my best friends to pancreatic cancer. God Bless Alex Trebek in his fight.