Mike: The college football schedule makers are sure playing tricks on us on this first weekend of games after Halloween. I should have realized this when Fox chose the Huskers and Boilermakers for their “Big Noon Saturday” game.
Patrick: One month left of the regular season. I’m already getting choked up.
Andy: I haven’t even scrolled down yet, but if Georgia-Florida isn’t on here after bitching about the crap games, I’m gonna light you up like East Lansing after Sparty wins a meaningful game.
Jill: By the time the rest of you read this, I hope the sugar buzz I got from stealing all of Ranchhand 3’s candy that contains caramel has worn off.
Nate M: Reese’s is where it is at.
Uglydog56: I'm ready for this season to be over, but I'm not ready for football to be over. So conflicted!
Indiana (-11.5) at Northwestern
Patrick: I’m going with an upset for Northwestern. They need something to go their way this year and it might as well be against Indiana. Northwestern University 9 Indiana University 8
Mike: Northwestern only scored 13 points during their three October games. Floppers 41, NW 10.
Andy: Indiana doesn’t flop. Their trainer studied holistic medicine in southern Pakistan under a swami who looked suspiciously like Colin Kaepernick and learned to cure any malady by having them lay on their back while he takes a knee and rubs their tummy.
He actually cured two ACL tears, some gout, male pattern baldness on a steroid junkie and aborted the dark pregnancy of a nickel back who was about to give birth to goat. Indiana 23 NW 13
Jill: This is a shitty game. I’m also a little worried about Andy. Indy wins by 10.
Nate M: Indiana wins going away. It is an actual possibility that Northwestern only wins two games this year. Wow.
Uglydog56: Indiana posts some fake bulletin board material, flops all over the field any time NW gets any rhythm, and wins going away. The players all get A's in their gen Ed drama class.
Oregon (-5) at Southern Cal
Patrick: Going to keep with the upsets. USC is beat up but they can pull this one off. University of Southern California 17 University of Oregon 14
Mike: Nope. Oregon bounces back after a couple of rough weeks. Ugly Quackers 34, Condoms 24
Andy: Urban Meyer’s future employer is one loss closer to an excuse for firing Helton and hiring vermin. Oregon 30 USC 20
Jill: Ducks, Ducks, Ducks. Oregon by a touchdown.
Nate M: Oregon wins by 20 because a Duck would always win against a Trojan.
Uglydog56: is "Tanking for Urban" a thing? It might be a thing. I'd rather go tanking on the Niobrara. Ducks.
UCLA (-6.5) at Colorado
Patrick: Don’t watch. University of Colorado 23 University of California Los Angeles 21
Mike: Chip turns Ralphie into Puffalo Chips. Bruins 35, Puffs 24
Andy: How do we find one of those people who knows how pen good viral email nonsense that the Yay-hoos believe? (“Obama’s going to raise your taxes to make the fed-rul gubmint pay to have illegal’s chihuahuas spayed & neutered. THIS IS TRUE!! Pass it on and WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN!!)
I want one of those out there saying that Bill McCartney put his hand up Ralphie’s butt once on a dare and liked it so much he’s constantly being chased off by security at night trying to get in his pen. Someone make it happen. UCLA 32 The Scum of Colorado 30
Jill: FAKE NEWS!
Or not. Colorado sucks. Bruins win big.
Nate M: UCLA wins in a close one where both teams score over 40.
Uglydog56: UCLA seems to have found something in recent weeks. It might be some team chemistry, or it might be Bill McCartney's hand up a Buffalo's butt. But they found something.
World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville
Georgia (-6.5) vs. Florida
Patrick: Fun times in the swamp. University of Florida 41 University of Georgia 28
Mike: Not understanding all of the love of Florida this season. Dawgs 38, G8rs 28
Andy: After a strange loss to South Carolina and a win in the muck against Kentucky, the Dawgs aren’t looking like the national title contender many thought they were at the beginning of the year. And their offensive coordinator isn’t helping with his steady dose of Swift up the middle twice and incomplete pass from the shotgun.
But it’s all been a ruse! Georgia opens up the playbook in the second half and takes it in OT 36-33
Jill: I don’t care. SEC SEC sec s...shit. Fine. Bulldogs win on a last second field goal.
Nate M: Pulling for Florida. Expecting Georgia to win by 10
Uglydog56: I don't believe in the Florida hype either. Or the Georgia hype, for that matter. Dawgs, I guess. Just because it will muddy up the waters a little more.
Nebraska (-3) at Purdue
Patrick: These teams have some top notch coaches that are both having a rough year. Both teams are ravaged by injuries. Both are reliant on young players. They are also coming off some decent recruiting cycles for each school. I am predicting some good football in the future between Nebraska and Purdue. Just not this weekend. University of Nebraska 23 Purdue University 17
Mike: I’m going to rely on Rondale Moore not being be back, and a two-dimensional Nebraska offense is better than a one-dimensional Purdue offense. Huskers 42, Boilers 28.
Jill: I think SDSU bounces back handsomely after losing the Dakota Marker to the Bison. They crush Missouri State by 20.
Nate M: Is Rondale Moore playing? If yes, then we lose by 14. If no, then we win by 3.
Andy: Adrian Martinez is healthy for the first time all year, I says, and it shows. The Huskers blow through the Boilermakers on their first two drives to take a 14-0 lead and never look back. Purdue finally gets on the board before halftime when the score stands 27-7 Huskers. The onslaught continues in second half and the reserves are all in by the time the 4th quarter starts with Nebraska up 41-...
(zzz...(snort)...mmmph...what time is it..)
Ah crap. Oh well, it was a nice dream. Purdue 30 Huskers 23
Uglydog56: This game is a must win for the team to get to a bowl. Therefore Purdue will play inspired football, Huskers will not, and Jon Johnston starts shopping for a replacement liver.