Mike: Boy, this is a really shitty week of games. I really had to expand our typical threshold to pick games. (9-10)
Nate M: Since a couple in the comment section want us to keep a running tally I’ll try and do my best and keep my running tally. I’m currently 8-11. I went 3-2 last week. I really didn’t see Texas beating TCU.
Patrick G.: This has been an interesting week. What we need is some good old American football...also, Nebrasketball practice started this week so I hope you are all ready for a sold out Pinnacle Bank Arena. (11-8)
Uglydog56: Compiling your record is hard! It involved googling things, and counting. With a record of 11-8, shoes were required to be removed in order to keep track. (11-8)
Greg: Nate, can you look up my overall record as well? Thanks, buddy. (either 8-11 or 9-10, depends on your Nebraska/Michigan pick)
Andy: After the first two weeks, I began severely brain farting and completely spacing off my picks. At that time, I was 5-4 which is still far better than I ever did when I actually bet and losing $11 on two games meant no drinking that night. I didn’t take losing at sports betting well and I did enjoy drinking, so I quit. (Andy I have you at 6-3)
Jill: I have 12-7 as my record, but I think its unofficial until our in-house lawyer verifies the results... I think this is the week that tanks my record. Did you know, the Dakota Marker game is this weekend. #1 vs #3 in a battle of FCS titans. The Jackrabbits kept the marker away from the Bison two years in a row, can they make it three? Of course, the game is at the same time as the Huskers. Those of you reading the game recap have been warned.
Ohio State (-3.5) at Penn State
Uglydog56: Kid touchers versus wife beaters. There’s no winners here.
Paul: ^ What UglyDog said. This game seems remarkably apropos for this week. Whoever wins, our basic decency loses.
Nate M: I’ll be pulling for Penn State, but Ohio State likely wins.
Patrick G.: The administrations of these two institutions are questionable at best. The coaching staffs are maybe about 1⁄2 reasonable to be honest. However, the players on the field should be some of the best we have seen so far this season. I am picking Ohio State to win. Why? Because the media outlets need more to write about and a majority of the articles after an Ohio State win will be more about what happened off the field than on. I guess I’m thinking that maybe we should grab some popcorn and watch this all burn. Ohio State University 23 Pennsylvania State University 21
Greg: I think Penn State squeaks by, but I have been wrong before. Nittany Lions 27 Buckeyes 24
Andy: A match-up at the end of the road in hillbilly hell features two very good teams that have talking heads slobbering over their high-flying stats despite the fact that they have played exactly one competitive game combined (a 40-28 OSU win over TCU).
It also matches up the two most deplorable fanbases in college football with 3rd place not even close. They either consider pedophilia and spousal abuse minor offenses that shouldn’t affect “the program” or bury their heads in the dirt up to their collective asses pretending none of it ever happened and continue to worship their complete and utter shitbag of a human being coaches who oversaw those travesties.
This game needs a missile strike in the stadium but let’s just say Penn St. 30 OSU 28
Jill: Shrugs. Flips coin. Forgets to pick which team is which side of the coin. #Meteor
Mike: It’s still pretty early in the season; most teams haven’t played anybody yet. (Hi Georgia.) But Urbz has been pretty consistent despite all of the self-inflicted off-the-field distractions. And Penn State has about seven quarters of We-Not-Very-Good this season (against App State and Illinois). Bucknuts 45, Nitts 31
Stanford (+5.5) at Notre Dame
Uglydog56: Notre Dame seems to be the recipient of a healthy home field advantage bonus here. With respect to this game, I’m a tree hugger. Picture me in a tree, wearing clothes made of hemp, throwing bags of poo at Irish Catholics trying to chop it down. That’s the image I want you thinking about when you watch this game. Flaming bags of poo! An unkempt man wearing hemp clothes, up on a limb of a tree, throwing flaming bags of his own poo at drunken Irishmen on the way to confession. Fire-haired gingers whose hair is literally on fire! But, Notre Dame wins in a close one.
Paul: Two of our legit finest academic institutions and two pretty good football teams. I’m gonna go with Notre Dame mostly because I didn’t get into Stanford for grad school this year. Domers 30, Trees 24
Patrick G.: Hmmmm, leprechauns or trees? University of Notre Dame 27 Stanford University 13
Greg: You know they use 24-karat gold in the paint for the helmets? Give me the home team by a touchdown, 28-21 ND
Andy: After the win over Michigan, I’ve been thoroughly unimpressed with Notre Dame’s half-assed showings against mediocre teams. Stanford isn’t mediocre and Touchdown Jesus will be scratching his balls in disinterest when this one finishes. Stanford 24 Notre Dame 13
Nate M: I’ll go with Stanford. Their stud running back is back right?
Jill: Is this betting line something to do with the whole “Notre Dame is back again” thing? Tree More Golden Helmets Less
Mike: Notre Dame hasn’t exactly looked great, but Stanford hasn’t really pounced on anybody yet either. But they showed something last week in winning at Orygon. Tree 28, Amish 20.
Michigan (-14) at Northwestern
Uglydog56: One of my favorite liberty ports while in the Navy was in Hania, Crete. We would sit in little sidewalk cafes, eat gyros, and watch the pretty girls walk by. Each gyro shop had a spiced leg of lamb on a little rotisserie that they shaved off to make your sandwich. Unfortunately for elitist sports journalists, Rashan Gary is going to eat leg of quarterback for dinner tomorrow. I wonder if he’ll share his tzatziki recipe.
Patrick G.: Northwestern is having an interesting year so far and Michigan is at least the third best team in the B1G. I am guessing this will be bad. University of Michigan 42 Northwestern University 17
Greg: My one hope for this game is that Michigan beats Northwestern worse than they beat us. But I also have my “realistic” pants on today, so I’m going Wolverines 45 Wildcats 28
Andy: And the game quality takes a sudden dip. 14 points isn’t enough when the underdog just lost to Akron. Michigan 47 Northwestern 17
Paul: I thought Harbaugh was a goner at the end of this year. I was wrong. Michigan 51, Northwestern 17.
Mike: Northwestern simply isn’t very good, and now has to replace their top running back. Meanwhile, we saw that Michigan can be very, very good when they want to be. Weasels 49, NW 17
Jill: I think the Fightin’ Harbaughs get a little overconfident early, but then remember to also play like the better team. Wolverines by 15
Oregon (-3) at California
Patrick G.: Hey, California is rated? What is this, 2004? University of California 32 University of Oregon 23
Uglydog56: What is Smokey Bear’s middle name? The. Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out burning forest fires! Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks! Justin Wilcox seems to be building something down there in La-La Land. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt this one time.
Greg: Oregon hasn’t looked as crisp as they used to. Take that and a Cal team with some momentum and you have the makings for an upset. NOOOO I kid. Bears win this one 24-17, because why not?
Andy: Oregon hung tough with Stanford, but the Bears have been looking salty as well. Either home game would feature a stadium full of sandals and tie-dye. Cal has the home field advantage but not sure just how excited & loud the brainiacs will get. Oregon 31 Cal 27
Paul: A game that is 4 years past its prime. Ducks 31-Bears 21
Nate M: Oregon wins by 4
Jill: Can I put my Jackrabbits - Bison prediction here? No. Fine. Ducks 34 gazillion Bears 28 gazillion
Mike: Orygon (as Lou Holtz would call them) got their heart ripped out last week. They’re gunning for Bear this week. Ducks 38, Bearsh 24
Purdue (-3.5) at Nebraska
Paul: I really think Nebraska gets its shit together finally. Huskers 35-Choo Choos 31
Uglydog56: Last week I did a whole bunch of IF’s, of which not one IF came to fruition. This week, well I’m still doing them. There’s only two. IF the Nebraska offensive line can reliably block Lorenzo Neal Jr, the offense should be able to score points. IF the defensive backfield can reliably cover freshman phenom Rondale Moore, the defense should be able to limit points scored. Okay, there’s a third IF: IF the special teams unit can pull their head out of their ass, this one might go our way. Once again, Rondale Moore can’t make noise on punt or kick returns. I said Rondale Moore too many times for comfort. Purdue wins.
Patrick G.: I have no clue what will happen in this game. both teams were supposed to be marginal this year and are performing below that. I’m going to flip a coin and Say....University of Nebraska 57 Purdue University 53....Because why not?
Greg: There is a lot to be excited about heading into this game. Purdue was the last team we beat. It’s Homecoming. It’s time to show Husker fans and the rest of the college football viewing world what this Nebraska team can do. And if we don’t stumble out of the blocks and spot the Boilermakers 14-17 points, I like our chances. ‘Skers 34 Purdue 27 (I think that’s what I said on the podcast. Go listen and come back and tell me if I was right or wrong.)
Andy: When the Huskers got on track and started taking more penalties in the second off, we started checking off all of the familiar punch-yourself-in-the-face moves that have come to define the 0-3 start:
Negative turnover margin? check
Too many penalties? check
Give up punt return for TD? check
I’ll make my pick simple - if we eliminate 2 or 3 of these sandbags, we win and maybe comfortably. If we eliminate one, I’ll say we win close. If we bring all three to the table again, we’re dropping to 0-4.
I’ll say we cut back on the penalties eke out a 30-27 nail-biter.
Nate M: Nebraska loses by two touchdowns because that’s what I see happening through the amazing analysis which I have laid here in front of you.
Jill: This is a reeling Husker team that keeps finding new and more interesting ways to shoot themselves in the foot. Have they run out of toes yet? I used all the good gifs in last week’s game recap and if the Huskers lose to the Boilers, I might have to draw my own cartoon panels for the recap. No one wants that. Even though I feel like I’m in for a rotten weekend of football, I’m still going to pick the Huskers. And Jackrabbits.
Mike: Last week had to be rock bottom... right? (Right??? RIGHT???) I think this is the week things finally come together; no stupid early turnovers. But Purdue is better than 1-3, so this one is a game. But Purdue’s habit of late mistakes gets them again as Adrian Martinez makes the highlight reels in the closing minutes. Huskers 35, Boilers 31.