September 1, 2018. It was a dark and stormy night.
The rest of the season went downhill from there.
Pregame - September 22
Both Andrew Bunch and Adrian Martinez went through pre-game warmups with Martinez taking snaps from the starting center, Cole Conrad.
And indeed, Martinez gets the nod when the Husker offense trots out for their first series.
Do you have your “2018 Nebraska” checklist ready? Do some stretches, you are going to be checking things off fast and furious.
___ promising drive derailed by turnover
___ stupid special teams penalty
___ poor blocking up front
___ quarterback running for his life
___ poor perimeter blocking
___normally stout rush defense gets ground into fine dust (Karan Higdon had something like 92 yards on his first three carries)
____defense forces a three-and-out only to have to go right back out on the field after....
___special teams turnover
Highlight thus far? Michigan missed an extra point. OK, I should give some credit to Adrian Martinez and Stanley Morgan, Jr. for a nice throw-and-catch that went for 30+ yards. The first quarter ended with the score of Michigan 20 Nebraska 0.
The Wolverines converted the short field from the muffed punt into three points by making a 50 yard field goal (into a slight breeze). After some more Husker offensive discombobulation, the Wolverine offense found the end zone again. On this drive, Harbaugh called for them to go for it on 4th and 1, because, why not? Everything is working for Michigan right now.
Wolverines 30 Nebraska 0
Question: How many times has 2AM been sacked at this point of the game?
Answer: Checks fridge and realizes it is way more than the number of cold beers I have.
Drinking warm beer while watching this game. Seems appropriate.
Oh look another Michigan touchdown. Wolverines 37 Nebraska 0
Maybe I should put some ice cubes in the beer. I mean, that ruins good beer but at least then it wouldn’t be warm.
I imagine the Husker coaching staff conversations on the sidelines/headset are going something like that. “Should we just drink it warm or listen to people make fun of us for putting ice cubes in? Make sure you get your votes in before we have to make our halftime ‘adjustments’.”
Oooooh. Another checklist item shows up.
___ stupid cheap penalty on special teams
Even the plays that coaches call to mitigate a fast, aggressive defense aren’t working because the blocking up front is so inadequate. One of those broken plays (a batted pass) that originally looked like a heads-up play by 2AM (batting it down to avoid an interception and Wolverine touchdown) was eventually ruled an illegal forward pass from the end zone and a safety. It was still a heads-up play by 2AM and I’m not sure how the rules work, but it sure feels like that should not have been a safety.
Michigan 39 Nebraska 0
Here’s a video of Ranchhand 3’s marching band performing today. After Ranchhand 2 broke his hip three weeks ago, R3 (he is in jr. high) was recruited to play because they would have only had one saxaphone otherwise. Our school’s marching band is small, but generally very good.
Beer status check. Still warm.
Shifting a couple to the freezer.
Husker offense: negative yards, 4 sacks given up, 7 tackles for loss given up according to the TV announcers. Waiting for the official athletic department halftime notes...which aren’t coming. I bet they are worried about the status of their post-game refreshments too.
Numbers, Statistics, & Lies is going to be easy this week. None of the numbers are lying. This is that bad.
At least someone likes warm beer. Yes, the rest of your recap will probably be in gifs. Maybe emojis. [Update: the editor doesn’t like emojis - gifs it is].
Hoss’ Frost Focus article isn’t going to be fun either.
1) I can’t really give an intricate breakdown, Michigan isn’t doing anything that’s remotely complicated. They’re just blocking. And tackling. And playing cleanly, smart, no mistakes. They’re just that much bigger, faster, aggressive, and stronger than NU.— DocTalk (@DocTalkSports) September 22, 2018
Martinez is pulled in favor of Andrew Bunch....who gets hurt on his first offensive play.
Michigan punt return touchdown.
Andrew Bunch is back on the field.
Update: Beer is cool-ish.
The Huskers are in the red zone. This is not a drill!! Barrett Pickering kicks the field goal. Michigan 46 Nebraska 3
Beer temperature status: Tolerable
It’s still the third quarter??? Sigh.
That McCaffrey kid looks like his dad. Wolverine drive ends in a field goal.
Michigan 49 Nebraska 3
Beer status update. I FOUND A COLD ONE IN THE BACK OF THE FRIDGE. I CAN HAVE A COLD BEER!
Welcome to the last 15 minutes where the points don’t matter and the gifs don’t make sense.
Ranchhand 3 band status update. They placed second in their class to the team that won the overall trophy in all classes.
Anyone else having trouble with tomatoes from the garden? Mine are not storing worth a damn. I can hardly keep them long enough to get some spaghetti sauce made.
Anyone have a good smoked tomato or pepper sauce recipe? I’d like to try something new. The same old marinara with garlic, basil, and oregano is good but getting old. My bell peppers are outstanding this year. Smoked, roasted red pepper sauce sounds heavenly. Help me out Corn Nation - surely someone has a recipe.
Michigan touchdown. But at least my beer is cold.
Michigan fumble!! Wolverines recover.
Nebraska fumble. Huskers recover and are called for a chop block on the play and the drive ends in a fourth and 23 for Nebraska.
In the prediction article, I said something about this game having a weird, upset vibe but that I left him alone so he could do his thing. I should mention that I’m terrible with names. That was actually ass-kickin’ guy in the corner. My bad.
There are nine minutes left guys. NINE. I’ve already created a recap that is going to break most of your mobile data plans. #AllTheGIFsAreMine
- Michigan scored with its first-string offense.— Alejandro Zúñiga (@ByAZuniga) September 22, 2018
- Michigan scored with its second-string offense.
- Michigan scored with its fullback (three times!)
- Michigan scored with its kicker.
- Michigan scored with its defense.
- Michigan scored with a punt return.
Nebraska intercepts the ball!! LOL, it’s called an incomplete pass on the field, but replay gives Deontai Williams his pick.
Khaleke Hudson for Michigan is ejected for targeting (on Andrew Bunch). Seriously, don’t touch our backup quarterback. We don’t have spare parts laying around.
Husker touchdown called back for ineligible man downfield. Michigan pass interference. Something, something, Wyatt Mazour touchdown. (Good for him - even in a crappy game most Husker fans could smile at his excitement at scoring a touchdown.)
Four more minutes of game time passed while FS1 eagerly promoted its next game of Kansas (KANSAS) vs Baylor.