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Larry Fedora Had Interesting Thoughts On CTE And Football Yesterday

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Previously best known for anonymously coaching a mediocre ACC team and being named after a hat, Coach Fedora decided it was time for the world to meet this Trumpian doofus unrecognized CTE expert.

NCAA Football: ACC Media Days
“Everyone have a seat. I’ve decided to snap for no good reason today.”
Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

So at ACC’s media days kickoff event, North Carolina head coach, Larry Fedora took the stage and was asked what he thought about the new kickoff rules for the 2018 season. I’m not sure what they are. Instead of explaining it to me, Larry decided to...well...go in this direction instead.

“Our game is under attack,” Fedora told reporters. “I fear the game will be pushed so far from what we know that we won’t recognize it in 10 years. And if it does, our country will go down, too.”

Um, I’m sorry?

“I’m not sure that anything is proven that football, itself, causes [CTE],” Fedora said. “My understanding is that repeated blows to the head cause it, so I’m assuming that every sport we have, football included, could be a problem with that as long as you’ve got any kind of contact. That doesn’t diminish the fact that the game is still safer than it’s ever been because we continue to tweak the game to try to make it safer for our players.”

Wait. Can we go back to the part about the country going down if they alter the game too greatly through rule changes for increased safety?

Fedora said he had talked to military personnel who had suggested the success of the United States military was due, in part, to the number of football players who went on to join the armed forces.

They did, huh.

America. Fuck yeah.

The Heels did have some injury issues last year. Larry decided to bring some coherence to the proceedings by explaining the reason for improvements to their strength and conditioning program.

“It’s the same way that, if we can’t run the football, Coach better be addressing what we’re going to do to change,” Fedora said. “If not, I’ve got my head stuck in the sand, and they’re going to start wondering about me. I better have the answer. So that’s part of it, and that’s reacting to what had happened and making sure guys know that I’m going to meet their needs.”

OK, no he didn’t.

My sincere thanks to Coach Larry Fedora. Conference media days events are usually a parade of platitudes, guarded optimism, one day at a time and giving 110%.

Larry went in another direction. Larry rode his horse into town to let us know that:

  • as football goes, so goes America
  • football players are the heart of the military
  • our military puts their foot up everyone else’s collective asses, bitches
  • don’t fuck with football unless you want to kill the USA

For all you Dr. Strangelove fans (and if you haven’t seen it? See it. Trust me.), Larry wins this year’s trophy for best impression of Colonel Ripper. I could almost picture Peter Sellers in the press pit trying to give him questions that bring him back to earth.