Berry Tramel of the The Oklahoman did an article a few days ago about the fact that Oklahoma Sooners fans miss the Nebraska rivalry.

These are the slowest college football news days of the year, so of course, it sparked, caught somewhat aflame and has become a topic of discussion. It’s not a bad topic... (yes, it is, I’m lying and I’ll tell you why below.)

John Bishop of 1620 The Zone did a twitter poll about the subject...

Of the 656 votes examined at the time of this writing:

47% - Yes! Make It Happen

12% - No

41% - No but play OU more often

I find the the idea that 47% of you voted “yes” very disturbing.

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Nebraska vs Oklahoma every year, or every other year is a terrible, horrible idea.

Why?

Big Ten Scheduling Limits Non-Conference Foes

The Big Ten has moved to playing nine conference games a year. That leaves conference teams with three other non-conference games to schedule. That means typically you’re going to play a cupcake, a decent team, and a storied program. Oklahoma is a storied program. Play them every year, and you’re severly limiting who you want to schedule for other storied programs.

Would you really like to see the same game played every game rather than Nebraska play, oh, USC, UCLA, Florida State, Notre Dame, and... uh... TEXAS?

We might play Texas, and win, and make up for that horrible one-sided series. Just a thought.

I realize there are some who want the same game every season, the same people who go to Burger King for lunch every day and order the same damned meal special, the #1, the Whopper. Just once, maybe the chicken?

Advice: BE MORE ADVENTUROUS! VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE!

That Rivalry Is Dead, Gone, Buried, and Decomposed

Let me see if I can put this as bluntly as possible so it will sink into your thick skull.

She left you for another man years ago. All the time she was telling you she loved you, she wasn’t lying, but she loved that other guy more. Even after she left, you were still happy to see her, but couldn’t admit that things weren’t the same. You can’t do this because you can’t accept and do not like change.

Then there’s the problem that you really haven’t found anything new. You keep comparing everyone you meet to her, and they just don’t measure up. Honestly, they do, but they’re just not as good in bed.

It’s okay to admit you miss the great sex, but failure to recognize her other failures and your shortcomings have left you in a stale state. You are no longer moving forward in life. This is bad, as there is much more fun to be had.

Advice: GET OVER YOURSELF AND MOVE ON

Nebraska vs Oklahoma Would Offer NOTHING of Value

Nebraska vs Oklahoma had meaning A LONG TIME AGO.

For years, the Nebraska vs Oklahoma game was the game of the year in the Big Eight, and many times the only one that counted as the game for the Big Eight Conference championship AND a trip to the Orange Bowl, once valued as the greatest bowl game in the history of mankind.

This value no longer exists. Nebraska vs Oklahoma would play for nothing but memories of the past. Memories of the past are great fun, but after a while, don’t you get sick of hearing the same stories about Uncle Barry at your yearly family reunion?

Advice: STOP LIVING IN THE PAST

A Core Component Of This Once Great Rivalry Is Gone

An often unrecognized component of this rivalry is morality.

Morality?

Yes. Morality. It was our saint and deity Tom Osborne against that cheating, conniving son of a bootlegger Barry Switzer. When the two teams played, it was more than a football game. It was good vs evil. It was the religion of Nebraska football, the hard-working spirit of native Nebraskans vs those people from Oklahoma, and we all know what they are.

Tom and Barry are long gone now. They might trot on the field (see “memories of the past” above) for an appearance, but trying to pretend now that Scott Frost is good while Lincoln Riley is evil... we might be stretching it a bit. Maybe in a few years after Lincoln Riley gets caught cheating, but we’ve seen no indication that he’s even close to Barry in skirting the rulebook.

Here’s something new to think about.

Barry Alvarez STOLE everything about Nebraska, moved to Wisconsin, and now stands in our way (when we manage to get out of our own way) most years. Isn’t is BAD that he STOLE and then uses what was STOLEN against us to keep us from success?

Advice: START SEEING MORE EVIL IN WISCONSIN, MINNESOTA, AND IOWA