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CornNation Loses Your Money: New Years’ Edition

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One more edition of the worst prediction thread in all of college football.

Research Shows San Andreas Fault May Be Overdue For Large Earthquake Photo by David McNew/Getty Images

Mike: I’m back for more embarrassing picks...

Andy: Looks like we’re showing the Big 10 some love. And a couple of these games may even love us back.

Patrick: We are still here?

Nate M: Oh I thought all that mattered was Alabama and Clemson. This is getting kind of old.

Jill: /Looks at my last set of predictions. Andy, don’t count on that.

VHS Rentals Bowl - Santa Clara, CA

Oregon (-2.5) vs. Michigan State

Mike: Is MSU quarterback Brian Lewerke healthy again? He’s back practicing and is slated to start; when Lewerke went down, so did the Spartans. But poor quarterback play wasn’t the Spartans only issue this season, so I’m sticking with the Ducks. Donald 34, Sparty 27

Andy: Lewerke is playing and Michigan St’s defense was its usual tough self this season. However, picking non-CFB bowl games has an added twist this year as any team with NFL prospects who are foregoing risking injury and skipping out on a chance to play for free are seeing their best players skip their bowl game to prepare for the draft.

In that vein, I can’t help but notice that the Spartan’s best CB, Justin Layne, has decided to skip the game, while Oregon’s QB, Justin Herbert, who many rated as one of the top at his position in this year’s draft, has elected to return for his senior season and will play.
Ducks 30 Spartans 21

Uglydog56:. Just as Oklahoma showed us what an elite offense with no discernible defense does on the field, Sparty is going to show us the inverse. Ducks win.

Patrick:

University of Oregon 17 Michigan State University 9

Nate M: MSU has the great defense but I think it won’t be enough as Oregon will be able to score against MSU. Will MSU be able to score along side of Oregon? Probably not. Michigan and Purdue let the conference down, maybe Michigan State can pick the rope back up.

Oregon wins by 10.

Jill: Dull, traditional green school color + defense vs wild any-shade-of-green goes + offense. Dantonio is a good coach, Hebert is a good quarterback. More words are typed trying to help me decided...Ducks.

Fox Insists on Calling It The Christmas Bowl - San Diego, CA

Utah (-7) vs. Northwestern

Mike: Northwestern went 0-fer in their non-conference games; I see absolutely no reason to think that’ll change in this one. This one is going to be low scoring. Utes 21, NW 13

Andy: I think I’ll be watching NC State and the aTm tonight. Two lower-end offenses. Utah St. has the more stingy defense and Northwestern tries to win by letting you make more mistakes. Will the Huskies be distracted by rumors of Fitzgerald interviewing with the Packers? Who knows? Let’s say Utah wins but Northwestern covers since bowl season is almost always dog season on the betting lines. Utah 26 NW 22

Uglydog56: Them Mormons sure are persistent. It pays off in this one.

Patrick:

University of Utah 32 Northwestern 17

Nate M: Just felt like Northwestern swept the division using tricks and mirrors. Utah is a tough hardnosed team and I think Northwestern won’t be able to keep up. I hope I’m wrong.

Utah by 7.

Jill: Northwestern is a good football team, but I think Utah is a better one. Utes by a bunch.

Outhouse Bowl - Tampa, FL

Mississippi State (-7) vs. Iowa

Mike: The Big Ten’s bowl matchups with the SEC have been two bad beat downs so far. Make this #3. Bulldogs 38, Squawkeyes 20

Andy: Noah Fant and Jeffrey Simmons are taking their talents to...NFL Draft prep. Before bowl season started, I would have pegged this one as close but as Mike noted above, the SEC has been treating the Big 10 like livestock in a Midwestern slaughterhouse. Nick Fitzgerald’s legs will give Iowa fits. If you’re attending the Outback Bowl, you’ll recognize the Iowa fans - they’ll be the ones actually eating at the local Outback. Miss St 30 Iowa 20

Uglydog56: Iowa chokes in the bowl as per usual. Fant was half their offense. B1G sure looks bad this bowl season.

Patrick:

Mississippi State University 23 University of Iowa 12

Nate M: All year long I’ve felt that Iowa was a real good football team. Time to prove me right. Does this mean I have to pull for Iowa? I don’t know if I can do that.

Mississippi State by 14.

Jill: For as much love as I gave the B1G in our last set of predictions (fat lot of good that did me) I seem to be on the opposite side of the fence here. Miss St rolls.

Standing In Three Hour Lines for a 30 Second Ride Bowl - Orlando, FL

Penn State (-6.5) vs. Kentucky

Mike: Ahhh.... here’s the Big Ten’s best chance to strike against the SEC, and this is one of those matchups where I think the Wildcats are the more overrated of the two teams. Give me the Nitts; PSU 31, UK 20

Andy: Oh, boy, here’s a match made in Deliverance-type hillbilly hell. In one corner, we have Penn St. and an end of the highway fanbase that has made well-known their opinions on serial pedophilia vs. the sancitity of the football program. In the other corner, we have Kentucky...enough said. Squeal like a pig indeed, everyone. A program without honor will retrieve a little for the Big 10. Yay? Penn St 27 Kentucky 19

Uglydog56: Penn State exposes Kentucky's sham offense. McSorley looks really good for the draft scouts, who never watch college games anyhow. Did you know Tanner Lee got called up for the Jaguars?

Patrick:

University of Kentucky 37 Pennsylvania State University 28

Nate M: Kentucky has been fools gold all season long. PSU by 14.

Jill: We aren’t a very disagreeable bunch today. Either all of us are going 5-0 or 0-5. PSU by 7.

Irrelevant Yawner Bowl - Pasadena, CA

Ohio State (-6.5) vs. Washington

Mike: Ohio State sends Urbz out in style, until his head feels better and he takes the Southern Cal job, because smog does wonders for his cyst. Bucknuts 45, Huskies 20.

Andy: Well, we say goodbye to Urban Meyer after this one. You know, for like a year or so until another amazing recovery takes place. Let’s just hope he heads the NFL where no one really cares about the integrity bullshit he tried to sell to his college programs when it was convenient for him.

What he deserves is a goodbye beatdown of Purdue-level proportions that showcases a command performance of his head-grabbing act to let the world know how he is bravely fighting through his brain cyst issues - issues that have been around since 2014 but whose effects weren’t re-leaked and acted out evey Saturday until after said Purdue ass-whipping. Nice timing.

Ohio St. probably cruises, but it will be nice to have Urban Liar out of the game again, if only for a short stretch. Urbs, go screw yourself along with the university who has non-sarcastically decided to have you teach Leadership & Integrity - a class you should honestly be taking not teaching. Bucknuts 38 Huskies 28

Uglydog56: If there's one thing I hate, it's enablers of domestic violence who fake medical conditions to escape the consequences of their actions. I still can't pick the Huskies. I want them to beat down Ohio 69-3, with a late hit that collects Urban, breaking his femur which doesn't heal correctly, causing sepsis, requiring amputation. But, we don't always get what we want.

Patrick:

Ohio State University 35 University of Washington 17

Nate M: Ohio State really should lose this for karma’s sake but they won’t because they have a deal with the devil apparently. Ohio State by 18.

Jill: I’m not sure who is skipping this bowl but I’ll take the Buckeyes regardless. Ugh.