/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/62702883/carl_tree.0.jpg)
There are only six shoplifting days until Christmas, folks.
If you haven’t finished up your gift acquisitions, it’s time to git ‘er done. To help, here’s the best/weirdest/most WTF-is-that? gifts for the Husker fan and Husker family out there. All are on Amazon and available before Christmas.
For the kids: Husker cheerleader uniform and Husker football uniform
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13634930/Screenshot_2018_12_18_10.24.04.png)
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13634932/Screenshot_2018_12_18_10.26.07.png)
The cheerleader uniform isn’t just for girls, and football uniform isn’t just for boys. I am not into gender role stereotypes, so if Jimmy wants to cheer, buy him the cheerleader uniform. If Sally wants to play football, get her the uniform. FWIW, both of my daughters had the Husker cheerleader uniform, and it was uber-cute.
Lego-like Helmet
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635389/Screenshot_2018_12_18_12.57.12.png)
These things look just like Legos, but they are smaller. Still, it’s cool.
For your significant other: Cornhusker logo panties and men’s briefs
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13634962/Screenshot_2018_12_18_10.43.59.png)
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13634969/Screenshot_2018_12_18_10.52.42.png)
If you’re still on the fence about getting that retro script Huskers Iron N tattoo on your ass, his and hers Huskers underwear is almost as good.
For everyone else: A Husker Garden Gnome
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13634994/Screenshot_2018_12_18_10.58.04.png)
This little guy does seem a little old to be toting the rock, and that grip on the ball looks like a fumble waiting to happen, but when we disregard that, this is pretty cool. I actually have it on my Christmas list.
Garden / Sidewalk Flags
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635400/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.01.43.png)
This little flags make a nice addition to a flower bed or near the front door. Combine with the Husker garden gnome for Husker synergy.
Corn Husker State Clock
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635417/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.04.21.png)
Do you want to tell her that Cornhusker is one word or should I?
Burnt Orange Husker polo shirt
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635508/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.14.20.png)
Carl: Hey Bo!
Bo: What Carl?
Carl: We should do a Huskers polo shirt.
Bo: Great idea.
Carl: Problem is we only have a bunch of Texas polos left.
Bo: Hold my beer.
Cornhusker playing cards
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635439/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.06.51.png)
This is a $5 pack of cards in case you’re too rich for the $.50 packs of cards from the Dollar Store.
Husker totem pole
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635482/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.09.39.png)
The only thing that would make this more horrifying better would be Lil’ Red on the bottom.
Iron N Apple Watch band
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635492/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.11.34.png)
I like this and think it would look good on my Apple Watch. I also think it’s a perfect example of how you can charge, and receive, $30 for something that would otherwise cost $5 just by adding and “N” to it.
Nebraska front license plate
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13635520/Screenshot_2018_12_18_13.20.12.png)
Remember when Nebraska’s license plates weren’t a state-wide plug for Michigan? Yeah, it’s been a while. This thing can help you not forget those heady days.
Through These Gates
Unlike most of the crap I listed above, you really should buy this movie. Ryan Tweedy is a Corn Nation alum and this movie is really good. Seriously, just buy it. You’ll like it. You can also rent or buy it on iTunes. I assume you can buy it on Google Play too, but I’m too lazy to look.
Merry Christmas and Go Big Red!