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CornNation Loses Your Money: Goofers & The Broken Chair Edition

Will Nebraska claim their only true rivalry trophy?

Broken Chair Trophy
Goldy Gopher holds the Broken Chair Trophy

Mike: Last year’s battle for the Broken Chair is where Mike Riley broke through the guard rail and over the cliff. Is this the week where NU gets back on the pavement?

Patrick G.: Chair or Die!

Uglydog56: You know, in researching famous Minnesota alumni, there are a surprising number of professional wrestlers represented. It’s somewhat ironic that our rivalry trophy is a broken chair. 23-10.

Jill: 21-11. As much as I complained about last week’s games, the only pick I missed was the Huskers. But I swear, if there is another Iowa game on the list... looks below... ARGHHHHHHH! /Consults Cobby to sabotage Husker Mike’s keyboard while he’s on vacation.

Nate M: I have a feeling the season championship is between Jill and Uglydog56. I am currently 19-15 after a good week. Come on Nebraska.

Maryland (+9.5) at Iowa

Patrick G.: If Iowa is such a good team, then why do I not want to watch any of their games? University of Iowa 28 University of Maryland 14

Uglydog56: Football pundits will talk about tight ends catching passes like it’s a new concept in football. Except that for Iowa, passes to receivers past the first down markers really is a new concept. Iowa dines on turtle soup.

Jill: Sigh. I’m about to head to the doctor’s office to get an influenza test. That will be more fun than picking, much less watching, another Iowa game. Iowegia by 10.

Mike: Maryland is the quiet team that nobody is talking about this team. All they do is keep winning. Like they will this week. The players just want to make sure there’s no reason why anybody would suggest bringing back suspended coach DJ Durkin. Turtles 34, Squawkeyes 28.

Nate M: Unfortunately Iowa is one of the most underrated teams in the country. They might have a ten or 11 win season. Unfortunately. Iowa wins.

Michigan (-7) at Michigan State

Patrick G.: This is a fun rivalry but then again it’s played for a giant ax wielding man. Michigan State University 23 University of Michigan 21

Uglydog56: Michigan is so physical, but Stater has some kind of voodoo power over them. There’s a 20% chance of rain. If Dantonio gets the weather machine working, this one is going Sparty yes. Otherwise, it’s a slobberknocker with the Wolverines coming out on top.

Jill: Recent history says that Dantonio has a khaki clad voodoo doll and isn’t afraid to use it. I think the Wolverines finally break through and win whatever trophy that they have.

Mike: Michigan is the best team in the Big Ten now. Sparty is just too inconsistent. Weasels 31, Sparty 23

Nate M: Sounds like there is going to be some bad weather. Michigan wins. MSU has too many injuries.

Oklahoma (-7.5) at TCU

Patrick G.: Ooooooooooklahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains...for a loss. Texas Christian University 37 University of Oklahoma 27

Uglydog56: The over on this game is 61.5. I’m assuming that’s a prop bet on how many times Boomer Sooner plays, and I’m taking the over. Sooners are going to outscore TCU in this one.

Jill: Give me the Sooners but shoot their band and their nonstop “Boomer Sooner” play into the atmosphere. Hey look - our coach smiled... play Boomer Sooner. A bird flew overhead... play Boomer Sooner. Someone in front sat down... play Boomer Sooner. I think I may have complained about this before.

Mike: I hate Boomer Sooner as much, if not more than, everyone else. We’re gonna hear it again and again. Soondoggies 41, Froggies 31

Nate M: I agree with Mike. Oklahoma covers.

Ohio State (-13) At Purdue

Patrick G.: This is going to be bad... Ohio State University 48 Purdue University 17

Uglydog56: I love Jeff Brohm, no homo. But he doesn’t have the horses yet to run this race.

Jill: Agree with Uglydog here. On the horses part. Not the love part.

Mike: Purdue is better than they’ve been in past years...but not that much better. Bucknuts 45, Boilers 28.

Nate M: Purdue keeps it close until the end. But they lose by 10.

Minnesota (+4) at Nebraska

Patrick G.: Bring....Back....The....CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! University of Nebraska 31 University of Minnesota 27

Uglydog56: Broken Chairs. Pro wrestling alumni. There’s only one way to match this up: the greatest Minnesota professional wrestler of all time and against the greatest Nebraska professional wrestler of all time. So, in a cage fight between Ric Flair and Jack Pesek, who are you taking?

Jack Pesek, the Greatest of All Time

Jack Pesek would tear him into small pieces, feed him to a greyhound that would set yet another racing record, and be back in Ravenna in time for dinner. Nebraska in a close one at home.

Jill: Some of the Husker plays feel like Minny ran up the score on them last year and are mad. Just make sure no one reminds Minnesota about 1983. We gotta win one sometime, right? RIGHT?!? I’m going to keep picking the Huskers til they do. Nebraska by a touchdown.

Mike: Every week, Nebraska gets closer and closer to getting this thing turned around. Couldn’t get closer than last week. It happens.

Not this week, though. Storm the field and claim that chair. Huskers 42, Goofers 27.

Nate M: I should have got my 3 peat last week. This week I have Nebraska by 4. But that game against Ohio State makes me real nervous.