Mike: Well, so now I’m back to “WTF” was I thinking about Minnesota and Ohio State? Or maybe it’s really “WTF was I thinking about Oklahoma and Oregon State?”
Brian: I don’t think Ohio State is that bad, or Oklahoma is that good. But good lord, did the Sooners look the part. Also, Minnesota isn’t that good, because I do think Oregon State is that bad.
Huskrboneyard: Another week another chance to act like I know what I am doing.
Patrick G: Harvest has started.....yep
Paul: I’m all out of witty intros, and it’s only game three.
Jill: I was 5-0 in week 1 and returned to my more normal record of 3-2 last week. Of course, if you go how close my score predictions were r how I said the game would go, I’m more like 1-9, and that’s being generous. Maybe I’ll catch the dead cat bounce this week.
Nate M: Is it sad that I don’t have a clue on where I stand in the standings? I’m sure it is not good.
Andy: 3-1-1 last week and the one loss was Nebraska which looked gold at halftime. This is why I don’t bet real money. Getting pissed at watching picks that cost me absolutely nothing burns my ass plenty, thank you very much.
Clemson (-3) at Louisville
Huskrboneyard: You would think that Clemson would have a good enough defensive line to contain Lamar Jackson. You would think if any team can do it, it would be Clemson. You should think again. I think Clemson is going to have to twist this guy’s ankle in the pile in order to win this match up. Louisville 38 Clemson 35
Mike: Has the ‘Ville been sandbagging this season, waiting for this game to get their revenge? Not buying it. On a crappy week of football, this looks like the best game, but I sense it won’t be as close as Vegas says it’ll be. Clempson 42, ‘Ville 28
Brian: Y’all know Lamar Jackson, the QB that won the Heisman last year and can’t be found on a watch list this year? Good game to watch, but oh boy Louisville can’t stop water. Clemson should cover and win this one, but it’ll be better than you think.
Patrick G: Should be a good game. Whatever the other folks on here say. Clemson University 35 University of Louisville 31
Paul: Faux Pelini made this astute observation last week:
This is weird but the guy who won the Heisman last year is still good— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) September 9, 2017
Still, Clempson’s defense looks scary good. I’ll go with Clempson 27 - ’16 Heisman 24
Jill: This might be one of the best games all weekend. A late touchdown by the Tigers makes it look less competitive than it actually is. Clemson 31 Louisville 17
Nate M: Clemson 24 - Louisville 10. The Clemson defense will be able to shut down Lamar Jackson. This however is Lamar Jackson’s opportunity to legitimize his Heisman trophy, which he should not have won last year.
Andy: There might not be as much cutting and beer bottle fighting among fans as one might expect when Kentucky & South Carolina types get to pissing about college football. But Louisville folks strike me as more genteel type who use that lilting southern accent while holding their horses in higher regard than the minority house and stable staff. When Climpson folk show up tossing rocks and vomiting, the local & violent constabulary will drag them into alleys and basement cells and club them bloody till everyone gets the message. This will calm the visitors and Lamar will unload again and steal one in a shootout. Louisville 41 Clemson 35
Tennessee (+4) at Florida
Huskrboneyard: I picked Florida to win against Michigan, and you know I can not be wrong twice on one team soooo GO GATORS? Florida 24 Tennessee 17
Mike: Florida’s offense is bad. Really bad. So unless the Vols decide to give the ball to the Gator defense, the home team is going to lose. Vols 28, Gators 13.
Brian: Take the under. I think Tennessee wins, but this is one of these games that Butch Jones can’t win for some unknown godly reason. His ass is in a pressure cooker if it ain’t the Vols in Atlanta for the SEC title.
Patrick G: Do you really want to know what happens this game or would you rather do yard work? University of Tennessee 17 University of Florida 12
Paul: Why are we picking SEC games on Cornnation? Vols 31 – Gators 17
Jill: Must.Not.Watch.TV. Vols 21 Florida 13
Nate M: Florida still have 10 players suspended? I haven’t heard. Florida 20 - Tennessee 10
Andy: Flo-rida ain’t be startin’ no 0-2. Also, Tennessee’s got some bad karma coming their way after beating the Yellow Jackets in a game they had no business winning. And yes, I would rather watch Roseanne Barr pornography than 42 seconds of this game. Gators 15 Vols 9
Purdue (+7.5) at Missouri
Huskrboneyard: Not sure why Purdue is not favored in this match up. I guess whole going to Columbia should help Missouri a bit, but I don’t think this one is close. Purdue 45 Missouri 18
Mike: I like Purdue’s hire of Jeff Brohm, though I’m trying to figure out what the heck he’s doing with his quarterbacks. Meanwhile, Kevin Cosgrove winces when he sees Mizery’s defense. Purdue 38, Mizzou 27
Brian: Mizzou just capped their DC, who didn’t do as good as the old DC, who is now the HC. We should all be put on KP for watching this game, but Purdue is going to be MIA and MIZ gets the W and we all hate everything and why did I put that much effort in this shitfest.
Patrick G: This week’s slate of games stink. Though, I am starting to get worried about Nebraska playing Purdue...Purdue University 47 University of Missouri 42
Paul: I don’t get why Mizzou is favored by more than a touchdown. Purdue looks to be better than it has been in years, and Mizzou is Mizzou. Boilermakers 37 – Tigers 31
Jill: Purdue has looked good so far, but I suspect many of us are wondering when they’ll return to being Purdon’t. Mizzou doesn’t look like the team to make them do that. Boilers 42 Tigers 24
Nate M: I still despise Missouri from the Chase Daniels days, and I still remember Suh tearing what’s his names foot off. That one kid who committed, then decommitted. Just like his younger brother. Purdue 38 - Missouri 28
Andy: What a monstrously shitty week for college football. And that line - is it just SEC SEC SEC bettors loading up on their conference? Or has Fat Tony bought himself some Boilermakers? Chase Daniel might eat five noses full of snot after this one. Purdue 38 Misery 20
Arizona State (+7.5) at Texas Tech
Huskrboneyard: Again not sure why Texas Tech is only favored by one touchdown. Texas Tech will run away with this one and never look back. GUNS UP in Lubbock! Texas Tech 56 Arizona State 31
Mike: Track meet! This one could top 100 points between both teams. Raiders 56, Devils 49.
Brian: Two of the worst defenses in America, folks. Unfortunately for ASU, their offense isn’t that good. And, if the Sun Devils lose this one, their schedule won’t let up. After this is Oregon, at Stanford, Washington, at Utah, USC... hoo boy. Guns up in this one, but please think of your mortgage and take the overs.
Patrick G: I hear Lubbock is nice this time of year. Or did someone reference it to Baghdad. I can’t remember and will probably also forget about this game. Texas Tech University 42 Arizona State University 28.
Paul: It must be Intern Week in Vegas. TT is going to slobberknock Arizona. Texas Tech 55 – Zona 30
Jill: What they said. TT - all the points. ASU - not quite as many points but probably more than any other losing team this week.
Nate M: Texas Tech is the unstoppable force and ASU is the immovable object. Well that’s a lie. Texas Tech 48 - ASU 24
Andy: I’m trying to find games to go against the grain in, but weird lines - as well as a healthy dose of not giving two fucks about some of the matchups - is making that hard to do. Let’s say Sons of Leach 49 Stink Devils 34 and move on to some scintillating talk about Northern Illinois.
Northern Illinois (+14) at Nebraska
Huskrboneyard: I would like nothing else but for Diaco to stop playing the “we give them a lot of yards to limit big plays and mitigate points....except for when they score a lot of points” card and give us a solid showing. Yeah that’s what I’ll pick. Nebraska 45 Northern Illinois 17
Mike: Bob Diaco knows he can’t wait until halftime to throw a different wrinkle out there in the first half. There’s no point trying to see if Marcus Newby or Mohammed Barry can cover a slot receiver, so why bother? We know from the second halves that Diaco’s defense can work against spread defenses, so there’s no point messing around this week.
Offensively, Nebraska wants to get Tanner Lee right, and the best way to do that is to not ask him to shoulder all of the load. Devine Ozigbo gets out of the dog house, and shares the load with Mikale Wilbon. Wilbon rushes 20 times for 140 yards; Ozigbo gets 15 carries for 102. Lee completes 65% of his passes, and everybody goes home happy. Huskers 38, Huskies 13
Brian: Well, time to prove you’re battle tested on both sides of the ball for a MAC team that you should cover on? Offensively, Lee & the boys should be better if the quick game is going to be there. I think that the RB spot is iffy with no Tre Bryant, however I would like to see if Devine Ozigbo gets out of solitary or if they go with Mikale Wilbon and Jaylin Bradley in this one. Expect more pass blockers in this one if Wilbon is the back.
Defensively, it sees that with Williams & Reed at Safety, maybe the Secondary was better? I don’t know, but this D could use an asskicking. If we didn’t get nickel/dime vs. Oregon, would tend to think that we won’t get it now. However, Luke Gifford & company have proven to be up to the challenge. Let’s just hope that it’s not a big one.
37-17 Nebraska, I’d say more if Bryant was playing, but the run may suffer some. Let’s see some kids that need the experience on both sides of the ball, and let’s get into conference play at 2-1, where most folks thought it’d be before all hell broke loose.
Patrick G.: Unlike the Huskers, I like morning games. Though this one might not be as fun with the injuries that have come up. I’ll go with University of Nebraska 32 Northern Illinois University 21.
Paul: I wish this were a typical Huskers vs Directional State game, but it’s not. NU wins, but just like Arkansas State, it won’t be easy. Nebraska struggles early but pulls away in Q4. Huskers 41 – NIU 25
Jill: It is a nail-biter through the first half, possibly even a shootout. The defense tightens up in the second half but the offense has a stretch where they get butterfingers and brainfarts. It takes a surprising and valiant defensive effort until the offense rights the ship and grounds, pounds, and checkdowns their way to eating up the clock and making the score look a little better than it should in the end. Placekicker Drew Brown has to salvage a couple of possessions by nailing absurdly long field goals to give the Big Red some breathing room. Huskers 44 Huskies 31
Note: I may or may not have written the above paragraph a couple of years ago and refined it through experience to a point where I decided to keep it handy for repeated copy and paste into predictions articles.
Nate M: Nebraska needs to make a statement tomorrow against Northern Illinois. I think they are going to be plenty motivated. Nebraska 40 - Northern Illinois 13
Andy: I gave a few details here on my pick for this game. I’ll stick with that score and add that I think the running will improve with Wilbon & Ozigbo but the pass blocking will drop off. Since the O-line protection is nothing to write home about, Lee will take a few early lumps, and the game will be tight early, but blah, blah, you know the drill, we’re pissed early but pull away late. Huskers 42 N Illinois 23