In a shocking and controversial decision Shawn Eichorst has made a joint statement with Mike Riley in which the student section shall now be named The Bonezone. Known for years as The Boneyard, students will officially be branded anew.
When asked why this decision was made without deliberation with student leaders, Eichorst’s response was interesting to say the least. “I firmly believe my decision will erect new and larger interests inside Memorial Stadium. I have always been told size doesn’t matter, but what matters is what you do with it. Today marks the day that size truly does matter.”
Riley stated he has total confidence in Eichorst, and this is one in a number of new changes to come. He went on to say “It’s critical on early Saturday Kickoffs that the students be there ready to go sporting their morning bones .”
Even the state governor Pete Ricketts has given his support for the initiative. “Much like our state capital building, we need our students to stand phallic in their affection of Husker Football.”
If you haven’t figure out by now, this is #Fakenews. These tweets are all doctored and not real.