Big Red Cobcast: Jones-ing For Some Good News

If you could create the perfect Husker, what traits from which Nebraska greats would you choose? Personally, I would go with the Jammal Lord’s name...and, screw it. You know what? Nothing matters. Nothing.

What’s the point of our stupid conversational topics? What’s the point of anything? Chris Jones got hurt, and everything wrong with this world is completely self-evident. Shut it all down. Not just the 2017 Nebraska football season. Shut down the program. Shut down this entire life. The meniscus is now my least favorite body part, and “torn” is my least favorite past participle. Everything sucks.

We tried to power through our depression this week. I think we did as well as could be expected. Better than expected. And you know why? We’re powered by Iowa tears (the noun, “tears”, not the stupid verb that took out Chris Jones’ knee). The whiny, briny tears of Iowa fans who are worse at trash-talking and not screwing cousins will forever keep me going in the face of true tragedy like the death of Chris Jones’ knee. No matter how tough my day is, and no matter which future Hall of Famer is ripped from our grasp, I’ll always be happy knowing that my home state has produced national championships and not Slipknot. And when I say “national championships”, I mean real ones. Not BS titles awarded before bowl games.

Knowing that our state has produced Marlon Brando while Iowa made Tom Arnold isn’t just cathartic. It’s a damn miracle cure for my psyche. Don’t shut it down. Turn the factory back on! WE’VE GOT NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS TO PRODUCE. Tune into the Cobcast and heal yourself!

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