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Big Red Cobcast: Nebrasketball, We Have a Problem

A questionable solution for fans after unquestionably bad results for Nebraska

NCAA Basketball: Michigan at Nebraska Bruce Thorson-USA TODAY Sports

Can we be honest about something? It’s been a rough stretch in Huskerland. We haven’t won a football conference championship in nearly two decades. The baseball team is scoring something along the lines of 0.00973 runs per game. The wheels have completely fallen off the Nebrasketball wagon. OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

I’m going to propose something I never thought I’d ever suggest. Maybe now, just until we get the ship back on course, we lay off the Iowa jokes? Or jokes about any team that isn’t significantly worse than us. Seeing as Northwestern is a very likely candidate to win an NCAA Tournament game this year, which would leave the Huskers as the only major conference team without a win in the Big Dance, that doesn’t leave us a lot of options.

I realize what I’m proposing is no small ask. I mean those livestock fuckers next door are terrible. I’m not a particularly religious man, but every night when I go to bed, I pray for an omniscient presence wipe that ass crack of state off this plane of existence with one giant lightning strike. And until that happens, I wish for the Hawkeyes to lose all their games.

But the only reason I really ever hated Iowa to begin with was because it felt like their fans had such an irrational hatred toward us. I went to college with a lot of Iowa fans, and at that point, Iowa was nowhere near the same plane as Nebraska. Yet, those assholes continued to hate Nebraska, merely because we were better than them. We weren’t even in the same conference yet. They just hated us. There was no high ground for them to stand on and stare down at us, yet they did.

And right now, that’s where we stand. We’ve lost to Iowa three out of the last four times on the football field. The Hawkeyes have made nearly four times the NCAA Tournaments we have.

I want to make fun of Iowa again. I just want to make sure we earn it.

Until then, we’ll spend the better part of our podcast commiserating and figuring out how we can get out out from beneath the cesspool that is Iowa. Listen and enjoy!

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