[Stuff was blowing up by 7am this morning, so I’m a bit late with this. Dadgummit.]

I know that the Scott Frost news is exciting as hell, but there’s a whole rest of the world going on out there. I’m going to handle that part. We have a staff here at CN. And a long offseason to talk about that new guy, Scott Frost. As for me, part of my place is informing you on the rest of the nation, so you not get so xenophobic when it comes to other schools and conferences.

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On Friday I wrote that the best thing possible for the College Football Playoff would be that the top four teams won. In particular, I was worried about Wisconsin. If you read that article, I lamented that if Wisconsin lost, two SEC teams would get in, leaving the Big Ten conference out of the playoff.

So here we are. The Big Ten is not in the playoff. The pack 12 is not in the playoff. The SEC, however, has Georgia and Alabama. Georgia makes sense. My youngest son – the rotten one – was home Saturday and I explained to him that the SEC title winner will always be in the playoffs no matter what happens. I also tried to explain to him that the SEC is for people “way crazier than your father”. This is difficult for him to understand. His father is a crazy person. His father should probably have a mental illness named after him. The concept that there is a segment of society beyond me and you fellow Husker fans that is more insane about college football is inconceivable.

My rotten son is 19 years old, maybe. Around there, anyway. I’ve been running this website for 11 years now, meaning most of his life. My screaming at Nebraska football didn’t just start with this website, he’s experienced it his entire life. It’s only when this website started that it took on another level of insanity. On the other hand, the idea that I am not a complete idiot has never crossed his mind since he was about nine years old. (Sadness)

Still here we are, two SEC tea of them Alabama, and the other the SEC title winner, Georgia.

Saturday night I did a fair amount of screeching that if Ohio State won, Alabama would get into the playoff because they deserved it. Ohio State lost by 31 points to a really shady Iowa team. You can’t shake that off – it’s like being a “little bit” pregnant. It’s like you being in love with a girl, then finding out later she had sex with the skaggiest one of your friends. You can shower all you want, but it won’t come off.

There are a lot of arguments to be made about the existing College Football Playoff format. You might be tempted to believe that a simple solution is to move to eight teams. I would caution you against this. This is supposed to be an “amateur” sport. I could go into the fact that we are going to now pay a coach $5 million a year and feel good about it, but that’s not the point. The point is, you’re asking a group of college kids who are amongst the best of the nation to extend their careers even more than they already have. You’re asking them to do more, for the same pay, and by pay, I mean compensation, in the fact that they are getting scholarships.

You’re asking them out of your own selfishness to do more work for less compensation. Would you not be angry about that were this to happen at your job?

Back to the here and now.

You can make the case for Ohio State being in the playoff. Ohio State clearly played a tougher schedule, losing to Oklahoma early, whereas Alabama only played one good team during the entire season and lost. That one good team was Auburn who beat both Georgia and Alabama, both failed to win the SEC title.

There are so many different ways in which you can spin this. You can scream about whether conference championships matter, because clearly this year they don’t, and you can scream about whether strength of schedule matters. It clearly does not matter either.

What is going to make this right?

Nothing. There is nothing that will ever happen in college football to make this right. It will never be logical, if in fact that’s what you mean by “right”. The mere fact that Iowa State plays in the same conference as Texas should be indicative that we live with and love an insane, irrational sport.

That’s the beauty of college football. It is insane. It is irrational. It will always be this way because there will be no way ever that this sport becomes balanced. Expand the playoff – and then we will still be screaming again.

Why is it we demand rationality? We demand order?

If we were to admit it, most of our lives are not orderly nor are they rational. Damaged beings, we seek order in that there might be some explanation for the universe. Or at least why Uncle Dan insists that he is the descendent of a Viking, a real Viking, and when he dies he will go to Valhalla and drink with Odin forever. Why is your sister an anti-vaxxer? Why does your other son irritate you by stating that the moon landings never happened. There is a guy out there who wants to fly a steam-powered rocket into the air to prove the earth is flat.

I digress. <—- (this is the laziest and most instant transition to use in all writing)

The only true thing in our universe of college football right now is Alabama.

I love the 90s of college football as much as anyone possibly can. I started a website so that I could hide my mental illness for college football behind “passion” and writing. I am so tired of watching Alabama. They play boring football. Yet they win. They play Mercer in November, yet they are in the college football playoff, the most coveted place in college football, a place where we want to be.

I hope for better times for us ahead. In the process, perhaps we can save the world from more Alabama football.

I think the world would like us more if we did that. Maybe we could get free drinks. And younger, single guys more chicks.

The future is hopeful, more than it’s been in a very long time.

NEWS

The news is weak today...

Well, hell, no wonder Jimbo chose the job at Texas A&M:

Arizona State announces the hiring of Herm Edwards...

And today is the press conference:

Vision Unveiled, Edwards Takes Helm - TheSunDevils.com | Arizona State University Athletics
Edwards, who will oversee the New Leadership Model, arrives in Tempe with a football legacy that has impacted thousands, whether as a player, coach, analyst, motivational speaker and author, or community advocate and philanthropist.

Does Herm Edwards know ASU’s nickname is the Sun Devils? - Arizona Desert Swarm
turn ASU football into some sort of corporation

ASU Football: Herm Edwards named head football coach of Arizona State - House of Sparky
It’s official.

Wisconsin football: Final thoughts on Big Ten Championship Game - Bucky's 5th Quarter
After a couple of days to digest Saturday night, here’s what’s we’re still thinking about.

Then There’s This

This smart condom is like a Fitbit for sex

A British firm has released the first photos of its Fitbit-style condom that measures a man’s performance in bed.

OMG.

For the ultra-competitive fucker. Now you can let everyone know.