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Five Reasons Nebraska Will Lose to Minnesota

Our beloved Huskers lose to the Gophers? Possibly...

Middle Tennessee v Minnesota Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

I’m as tired of writing these as you are of reading them.

So lets cut to the chase with......

FIVE OF THE REASONS NEBRASKA WILL LOSE TO THE GOPHERS

  1. We lose to everyone now, right?- Maybe it just seems like this is the case but even the wins this year have felt like losses. This is less of a reason to lose than an expression of my deep despair. Sue me.
  2. Our D-coordinator is losing it- When most of the week is spent trying to decipher the weird coded messages and general babble of Diaco things aren’t going well.
  3. Interceptions- Just when it looked like Tanner Lee was sure of what team to throw to he goes and gives it up three more times. Hard to win that way.
  4. It’s the year of the Gopher- The Twins made the playoffs! The Vikings are in first place! The Timberwolves got Jimmy Butler and I’m sure something good happened for the Minnesota Wild. It’s just their year.
  5. PJ Fleck- No, I’m not saying he’s a great coach or anything, I’m just saying he’s the exact type of coach who will beat Nebraska and then act like a total dick afterwards. He reminds me of Gary Barnett for some reason, perhaps it’s that I don’t buy his crappy fake rah rah shit. (I would totally buy it if it worked here).

I BLAME MYSELF FOR THIS SEASON EVERYONE. I’M SORRY. NEXT YEAR I’M DOING 5 REASONS WE WILL WIN!!!!