Mike: The last month of the season... Can the Big Red get a couple of W’s to extend the season?
Paul: I think NU’s chances of going 2-2 over the last 4 games are about 50%. If NW and MN are .50 p(win), Iowa .35 p(win) and PSU .1 p(win) then the odds of finishing the season out this way follow:
That’s simulating the season 2000 times.
Andy: And we now enter the time of year well-known to fans of Mike Riley-coached teams as The Funnest Month In College Football If You Can Get Over The Fact That Your Team Is Effectively Eliminated From Contention For Anything Except Possibly A Lower-Tier Bowl And Maybe 2nd Team Academic All-Conference Honors For Your Holder or Deep Snapper..
Nate M: Anybody know of any underground bunkers I could hang out at during the Penn State game?
New Kids on the Block Bowl
Maryland (-2.5) at Rutgers
Mike: Rutgers is actually rounding into a no-so-awful team, and despite being on their fourth quarterback, Maryland isn’t that bad either. But I’m not sure Bortenschlager is the guy you want to put your money on. Buttgers 27, Under Armour Train Wreck 24
Andy: South Carolina (6-2) @ #1 Georgia
#14 Auburn (6-2) @ aTm (5-3)
#4 Clemson @ #20 NC State
#6 Ohio St @ Iowa (5-3) - (I know...-18.5...but the Hawks showed up for Penn St...and this is the time of year shit gets wrecked)
#15 Iowa St @ West Virginia (5-3)
#7 Penn St @ #24 Mich St
#21 Stanford @ #25 Wash St.
#5 Oklahoma @ #11 Oklahoma St.
#18 Central Florida @ SMU (6-2) - (If our AD ain’t afraid to talk about him out loud, then we need to quit pretending this isn’t happening)
#19 LSU @ #2 Alabama
#13 Va Tech @ #10 Miami
#22 Arizona @ #17 USC
Since I have more interest in the Eight Man-2 playoffs and what it says on that wrapper that blew just out of reach into my front yard tree than I do in this or the Illinois-Purdue game, I thought I’d just take a moment to remind everyone that this is one hell of a college football Saturday coming up. The first CFP rankings have just come out, and by the look of that slate of games, just about every serious contender is facing someone who has a solid shot to stomp on their playoff dreams with a muddy cleat.
If more than a few of the games get weird, - gosh, that never happens in college football, does it? - then that opening set of rankings will have its shit seriously wrecked thus leaving those chancellors, presidents, former coaches and assorted old farts on the committee to rip up their notes and start from scratch. Start watching at 11am and don’t stop till the bars close. It’s gonna be fun.
What’s not going to be fun is this 4-day old burrito of game. Rutgers 27 Maryland 25
Nate M: Is Maryland still on its 6th quarterback? Rutgers is an improved team, compared to seasons in the past. Their record even shows it. They’ve won two conference games! Is that right? Do I have to double check that? How many people are going to fill up Rutgers stadium for this game? Brutal. Rutgers 24 - Maryland 23.
Penn State (-8.5) at Michigan State
Mike: Neither team probably should have lost last week...but Sparty won’t get to use that excuse this week. Nitts 38, Sparty 24
Andy: Penn St has been a shade less dominant away from the genetic bouillabaisse that is Happy Valley. The score looked bad last week but Sparty only gave up 17 in regulation. Something similar to the Iowa game might be on the horizon, so let’s use that score. PSU 21 Sparty 19
Nate M: Michigan State takes advantage of PSU team that might have lost its chance at the playoffs with the loss to Ohio State last week. MSU 17 - Penn State 14.
Oklahoma (+3) at Oklahoma State
Mike: I’m not buying the Mullet over the Soondoggies. Sooners 42, Cowpokes 37
Andy: Since burying the Buckeyes, the Sooners have looked like anything but a playoff contender as they lost to Iowa St. and continued to eke out wins against inferior competition. Okie St. looks similar, but they get the Sooners at T Boone Stadium and, since it’s the Big 12, it seems only logical to assume that they elevate their standing in a huge way by getting over Oklahoma - before they and the Big 12 have it all crushed next week by Iowa St. It has to go down that way, right? Cowboys 45 Sooners 41
(Does anyone else miss Mike Gundy? From the non-sensical “I’m a man, I’m 40 rant” to the stupid mullets to T. Boone probably taking him to the country club bar, yelling at him all the time and making him do whatever weird shit pops in his head like a pilled-up Elvis ranting around Graceland.
“Put that rubber seahorse intertube aroun’ yore waist, draw a damn dick on yore forehead, gallop up to the waitress while smackin’ yore own ass an’ tell her to bring you three Pink Ladies an’ the head of Alfredo Garcia!! Do it now, boy!”
(struggling into seahorse inner-tube) “Yessir! Right away, sir!”
Also, he has a clause in his contract that let’s him tell his boss, AD Mike Holder, to go shit in his hat anytime he feels like it with no repercussions. OK, that’s it’s own article, I’ll be back.)
Nate M: I have to continue following Andy? Geesh. Oklahoma State has the better quarterback and it is at home. Also Oklahoma’s defense has been pretty bad this year. Oklahoma State 48 - Oklahoma 35
Illinois (+14) at Purdue
Mike: Purdue’s three game losing streak ends this week. Boilers 28, Illini 10
Andy: Two teams that have combined to lose 9 straight. Both these locker rooms need the “Losing is a disease” guy from “The Natural”. Purdue 21 Illinois 17
Nate M: Maybe I never noticed in the Big 12, but with the Big 10, it seems like the conference games are either really interesting match ups or the complete opposite. There is no middle ground. This is one of those complete opposites. With that said, Purdue is the better team. They win by 10.
Northwestern (+1) at Nebraska
Mike: This series is known for the visiting team leading when the clock hits zero. There’s no Westerkamp around to save the Big Red, I’m afraid. The Wildcats are simply better on both sides of the ball this season, though Tanner Lee might be the better quarterback. NW 27, NU 23
Andy: Tanner Lee throws for 340 yards but the Wildcat rush forces a couple of picks and the run game’s inability to get any first downs and run out the clock lead to Northwestern getting the ball back with 1:30 left, hitting a few passes in the middle and booting a 32-yarder as time expires to win by 2. This is Nebraska-Northwestern in Lincoln, right? Goddamn, I should’ve bought a bar or liquor store 3 years ago and been dealing with this from the retail end instead of just the consumer side.
Northwest of Somewhere 26 Huskers 24
Nate M: With the exception of the Hail Mary, the road team has won the past 6 games? Which means Nebraska should lose. If Nebraska can run the ball, they will win. But after last week, I’m not expecting much improvement. Northwestern 24 - Nebraska 10.