Week 14? 41? Cobs

This season has been a miserable slog, but it ended mercifully, if painfully, last week. For me, one thing that carried me through this long dark tea time of the soul was the weekly dose of schadenfreude and general stupidity simply called The Cobs. This week is no different.

Nominee #1 - Arkansas Linebacker Derrick Munson and the Refs in the Arkansas/Missouri game - The definition of targeting is pretty clear, and in this play Munson met every criteria.

Munson was flagged and ejected for it, as he should have been. But that’s where things got weird. The refs said that Arkansas had declined penalty...which is pretty odd since THE PENALTY WAS ON ARKANSAS. So basically, Mizzou was penalized 12 yards for a penalty on Arkansas. 90 minutes later Arkansas coach Bert Bielema was fired while walking off the field. Karma’s a bitch.

Nominee #2 - Oklahoma Captains - The drama of CrotchGate continues for another week. Last week we nominated OU QB Baker Mayfield for grabbing his junk for the KU fans. I’m assuming OU Coach Lincoln Riley had an immediate come to Jesus meeting with his QB, as Mayfield was contrite in the post-game presser. His penalty reflected that contrition...he didn’t start. I guess his fellow captains disagreed with the penalty.

They carried his jersey in some kind of missing-man formation to the coin toss. He missed 2 plays. Self-importance is alive and well in college football I guess.

Nominee #3 - Rutgers (the school, not the team) - Apparently the stadium at Rutgers (admit it...you don’t know what it’s named either) lost water pressure during the game. Fans (all 521 of them) needing to avail themselves of the necessary room were directed to porta-potties outside the stadium. They were generously afforded readmission however.

(checks iPhone calendar) Yup. It’s 2017 and a Big Ten school doesn’t have running water in a stadium. Can someone remind me why Rutgers is in the Big Ten?

Nominee #4 - Stupid Nebraska media - (Part 1) I can’t independently verify this story, but if it’s true it’s cob-worthy. Reports surfaced this week that some Nebraska media were staking out Scott Frost’s parents’ home in Wood River. Geez, people, act like you been there before. That kind of bush league childish behaviour could derail his return to Memorial Stadium.

(Part 2) A student reporter asked Riley at the presser after he was fired (which is kinda weird that it happened, BTW) “Coach, what’s it like to know you’re unemployed”. When I heard that question I immediately flashed back to every stupid thing I had said when I was a brand new second lieutenant. Some people have to learn things the hard way I guess.

And finally, an anti-cob nomination. I want to recognize how remarkable a man FHC Mike Riley is. He was literally a .500 coach and made a lot of really questionable coaching decision while at Nebraska. Regardless, he is possibly the best human being to occupy the HC office in a very long time, and by that I include the venerable Tom Osborne. His grace under pressure and good nature kept this terrible season from becoming a repeat of the soul-crushing animus of the last couple years of Pelini’s tenure.