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Mike: I have that feeling this is going to be one of THOSE nights. But we’ll get through this, even if the scoreboard overheats or runs out of digits.
Salt Creek: We’re going to win, and y’all can just take that to bank.
Andy: Is that the blood bank, Senator Trent? BTW, I was actually 5-0 last week. That might be a first, so I’m going to blow my own horn. Toot, toot mofos. (I’m going 1-4 this week just for that)
Nate M: I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the Chicago Cubs for winning last night, and for giving me some hope for a team I’m rooting for to win on Saturday.
Patrick G: I’m going the Archer route this week with my predictions.
Michigan State (-4) at Minnesota
Mike: This line seems, well, a little low...though perhaps people are expecting Sparty to have a hangover from last week. I think the boat takes on a little more water this week. Sparty 27, Goofers 21
Salt Creek: Michigan State is going to glide to an easy win here - they cover and win by 14. Minnesota is still Minnesota, no matter how many elite oars you put together.
Andy: Well, shit, slow to the dance and all the rowboat jokes are used up. But yeah, I’m looking down the Spartan schedule and it’s starting to resemble a typical D’antonio year outside of the Domer blowout. Sparty 23 Hockey School 13
Nate M: Michigan State wins by 14. They are playing really well and Dantonio is reminding us that he’s a really good coach.
Patrick G: Minnesota is going to have more problems as the season goes on and MSU is playing like a Dantonio squad. Michigan State University 32 University of Minnesota 23
Northwestern (-3) at Maryland
Mike: Max Bortenschlager became the third Maryland quarterback to get knocked out of a game this season; he’s in the concussion protocol and hasn’t been cleared yet. I don’t care what you think of Northwestern’s offense, but if the Wildcats can’t outscore the Turtles this week, they might just need to fold the program. NW 24, UM 12
Salt Creek: Agree with Mike here, take Northwestern to win and cover. They’re not as broken.
Nate M: Northwestern wins by 20. Book it.
Andy: 0 shits given about this one. No poops. Northwestern of Somewhere 27 Maryland 13
Patrick G: This is a game people are going to want to watch? Northwestern University 17 University of Maryland 12
Michigan (-7) at Indiana
Salt Creek: Indiana “rises” up to beat a young Michigan squad reeling from last week’s Sparty Yes. Tom Allen will get hired away to a SEC job this fall, because that is how this league works.
Mike: Nah... Michigan’s defense has this, even if Captain Khakipants hasn’t quite got a handle on his quarterback situation. Weasels 23, CandyStripes 10
Nate M: I’m starting to think that Vegas gives Michigan 4 points automatically because Jim Harbaugh is their football coach. I think they win by only by 3.
Andy: After joining in the Big 10 tradition of school ranked in the Top 10 who really, reallly don’t belong there, Michigan has probably settled in at their realistic place in the polls and have a not ridiculous Indiana point line to go along with it.
There’s 2-3 more losses on their schedule, but pundits will continue to be impressed by Harbaugh doing silly Harbaugh things as he keeps behaving like a dude trying to convince a cable channel to star him in a reality TV show. I think they handle this one though. Wolvies 30 Hoosiers 16
Patrick G: It will be a fun game to watch when Indiana has the ball and Michigan is on defense. Other than that....
Oklahoma (-7.5) vs. Texas at the Cotton Bowl
Salt Creek: Texas is going to steal this one on a questionable fourth quarter penalty or turnover. Oklahoma gets struck with the law of averages again, taking their second “WTF” loss of the season and speeding up Mike Stoops’ departure from Norman.
Mike: This game just goes weird every once in a while. I don’t think that happens this week; I think the Sooners are going to be focused after letting last week get away from them. Soondoggies 37, Bovines 27
Nate M: Oklahoma is going to come back and lay a hard one on Texas after losing to Iowa State last week. Oklahoma by 23
Andy: What a difference a month makes, eh? At the beginning of September, Baker Mayfield was trying to plant flags in Fieldturf and Texas was making Maryland look like the Baylor that graded sexual assault as a recruiting metric right up there with the bench press and the 40. Suddenly, the ‘Horns are competing and the Sooners have looked like Johnny Manziel rolling out of bed at the Manning Academy for two straight weeks.
The fans of both schools will be too chemically polluted to remember the outcome but let’s say the Okies dry out and escape - Sooners 38 Shorthorns 35
Patrick G: This would have been a great game a decade ago. Today, Texas will Texas and Mayfield will keep dancin’. University of Oklahoma 37 University of Texas 23
Ohio State (-24) at Nebraska
Salt Creek: We’re going to break the college football playoff with a patented Mike Riley special under the lights. I might just be a chef who knows nothing about Nebraska sports, but I’m taking the win here. Nebraska finally puts together four quarters of solid football and shocks the Buckeyes, 31-30.
Mike: The one thing that improves from last year’s game is that no Husker quarterback gets carted off to the hospital. Blackshirts play valiantly but it’s not enough. Buckeyes 49, Huskers 17.
Nate M: I think it’s going to get ugly and real early. Nebraska’s favorite son, Kevin Kugler, said on the radio yesterday that Ohio State’s top 11 defensive linemen would start for Nebraska. I don’t think we score. Ohio State 35 - Nebraska 0
Andy: No reason to break this down too much. We are facing our biggest point spread at home since the 50’s and it’s probably conservative. 62-3 was last year’s score and I think it’s pretty safe to say we have not improved. Urban wants in the CFP, so he will absolutely keep his foot on the scoring gas given the opportunity.
Despite Diaco’s comments to the contrary, we just got pushed all over our own field when crunch time came last week. And the fact that many were calling Tanner Lee’s 50% 1 TD 1 INT performance an improvement gives me a chill when I think about Ohio St coming after him.
I would love an upset, absolutely f...king love it. But it’s not happening. We are at a significant talent disparity in this matchup and an even larger coaching one. Gentlemen, start your shot glasses. Buckeyes 55 Huskers 17
(Over/Under Betting Lines for Nebraska: Pick-6’s (0.5); QB’s Killed (0.5)
Patrick G: I hope........Who am I kidding. Ohio State University 41 University of Nebraska 24 (FYI...we are not Pam....)
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