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University of Nebraska Revises 2016 Attendance Numbers

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Illinois v Nebraska Photo by Steven Branscombe/Getty Images

LINCOLN, NE - University of Nebraska Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst announced Monday that the official attendance figures at Memorial Stadium had been adjusted based on the most current statistical and satellite imagery estimation techniques.
Eichorst addressed the unusual step of changing the attendance at 7 home games after the end of the season:

“I understand that many will wonder about the propriety of changing these numbers so bigly. I assure you that I have great people doing this. They are the smartest people and I know that they are doing a terrific job. Bob, is Bob here? Bob, you’re doing great. Just great at this. It’s the dishonest media that keeps under reporting these numbers. Nebraska has the highest attendance in the Big Ten. Not like Iowa. Total disaster. ”

The previous and revised attendance figures are as follows:

Opponent Previous Revised
Fresno State 90,013 212,651
Wyoming 89,895 202,454
Oregon 90,414 1,996,133
Illinois 90,374 5,621
Purdue 90,546 322,355
Minnesota 90,456 787,441
Maryland 89,704 58

Notice for Iowa fans: This is satire. If you spread it around as real news we will laugh at you. Bigly.