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Corn Flakes: Why Is Northwestern’s Football Field So Bad?

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Northwestern has really bad grass. Why?

A horse laughing
Horse after eating grass. Good grass. Not the kind you find at Northwestern.
Photo by Vince Caligiuri/Getty Images

Northwestern’s field was brought up a couple of days ago, but just for reference, here’s a shot of during last week’s Red Sox - Athletics game. Or not.

Have you ever looked at Northwestern’s football field and wondered - how has it gotten that bad? This is a Big Ten team we’re talking about, and they’re earning BIG TEN NETWORK money.

Maybe...

They forgot to water it since last season?

It was hot summer and if the team practiced there a lot in a short period of time, that condition can happen pretty quickly.

There are band practices, perhaps, or other events at the stadium. Could be any number of things. Fungus attack, grubs. Grounds keeper got sick.

Many dogs repeatedly urinating on it. Many, many dogs.

Do Pokemon urinate?

Spilling Old Style on it... but that's actually been proven to improve grass growth.

Chicago politicians took all the good grass seed for their own homes.

Budget for “Football Field Grass” = $23.19

Western Michigan and PJ Fleck’s “Row The Boat” mantra wasn’t metaphorical when they played there and won recently.

Grass too sad to grow this year given Wildcat offense.

“Rub some dirt on it” philosophy still in play at Northwestern.

University of Chicago football team sowed salt into the ground years ago where the stadium stands so that Northwestern would never again threaten their series lead or become great in football.

Northwestern’s debate team is so frustrated at perennially losing to Nebraska that they’ve engaged in Greco-Roman wrestling matches in cleats late at night.

Offensive coordinator repeatedly running same plays in same area “until they get them right”.

Ain’t no sunshine over stadium so far this season.

“Events at stadium” include tractor pulls.

Home Depot’s advice regarding “painted dirt” didn’t work as well as expected.

The goats are on strike.

GLOBAL WARMING. DUH.

NEWS

Bill Glassford, 102, Dies; America’s Oldest Living Pro - Huskers.com - Nebraska Athletics Official Web Site

Former Nebraska Head Football Coach William "Bill" Glassford, America's oldest living professional football player, died Monday (September 19, 2016) at age 102 in Phoenix, Ariz.

Project aims to help schools diagnose, manage concussions | Nebraska Today | University of Nebraska–Lincoln

The university has been awarded a $1.1 million grant to develop evidence-based training that will help schools diagnose and manage cases of concussion and mild traumatic brain injury in students.

Nebraska Unions launch food truck program | Nebraska Today | University of Nebraska–Lincoln

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln has established a system that is allowing area food trucks onto campus.

I’ll be completely honest and say that the only food truck I’ve ever eaten from were the trucks we called the “roach coach” that would show up to construction sites when I worked on fire alarm systems and professional sound many years ago.

They weren’t good, but as far as I know, nobody died.

Ndamukong Suh » Ndamukong Suh kicks off attendance initiative for South Florida schools

Miami Dolphins defensive tackle, Ndamukong Suh was at Booker T. Washington High School to help kick off the cause. He handed out backpacks stuffed with school supplies while urging students about the importance of hitting the books.

Floriduh needs all the help it can get.

Stats Six-Pack: Nebraska-Northwestern | Hail Varsity

Long intro, short: Northwestern has plenty of issues at this stage in the season, but to look at the Wildcats simply as the team that lost to Illinois State at home probably isn’t the fairest view.

Three things to know about the Nebraska Cornhuskers - Inside NU

They’ve been really impressive through three games.

Northwestern vs. Nebraska: Three Key Matchups - Inside NU

Nebraska just beat Oregon, so who should the Wildcats focus on this Saturday?

Big Ten

KIRK SPEAKS: IOWA AT RUTGERS - Black Heart Gold Pants

Time to fast forward to Saturday

Just the Stats: Penn State vs Michigan - Black Shoe Diaries

A way-too-early look at what to expect when the Nittany Lions take the field in Ann Arbor.

Wisconsin confirms Alex Hornibrook will start at QB vs. Michigan State - Bucky's 5th Quarter

Finally, some clarity.

Walk-On This Way: An unexpected, amazing experience - Bucky's 5th Quarter

Some thoughts on my new book, available for pre-order now.

Move over, Penn State. Wisconsin is the new Linebacker U. - Bucky's 5th Quarter

Wisconsin’s depth and development at linebacker is unparalleled.

Nevada at Purdue Preview - Hammer and Rails

Nevada cannot stop the run. Can Darrell Hazell figure that out?

Has the sports attendance bubble burst? - The Crimson Quarry

Kevin Wilson’s comments on Monday were justified, but do they reflect a nationwide trend?

Getting To Know Michigan’s Week 4 Opponent: Penn State - Maize n Brew

We take a look at the 2016 Penn State Nittany lions

Maryland football hasn’t been explosive, but it's been efficient - Testudo Times

A advanced stats look at how the Terps have fared so far.

Big Fellas, Big Task: Michigan State’s Offensive Line Answers The Bell Against Notre Dame - The Only Colors

Why the revamped offensive line is the key to MSU’s 2016 hopes

Elsewhere

I didn't give a damn about "Elsewhere" this morning.

Then There's This

If You Like Gin, You Might Be A Psychopath - Maxim

Do you enjoy a good martini? A stiff negroni? A gin rickey, perhaps? If you said yes to any of those, you might be a psychopath. Well, at least that’s what a team of scientists believe. Psychologists from Innsbruck University in Austria found that people who enjoy the taste of bitter food and drink like gin, black coffee, arugula, and chocolate are likely to have the personality traits of a psychopath, including Machiavellianism, narcissism, psychopathy, and “everyday sadism.”

Oh, those scientists. Some days I’d just like to take them and dip them (quickly, mind you) into a vat of boiling oil just to see if any would not get burned.

Diversity and inclusion pledge available for signatures | NCAA.org - The Official Site of the NCAA

The NCAA’s diversity and inclusion pledge is now available online for NCAA presidents and chancellors.

For those who love and live by meaningless gestures, this isn’t meaningless at all.

Speaker urges students to understand their privileges in campus discussion | News | dailynebraskan.com

The act of microaggressing involves making an assumption about somebody based on their traits, such as race, physical features, sexual orientation or gender identity. An example of this is asking a person of a different race where they are from or asking a man if he has a girlfriend.

I had no idea that’s what microagressing meant. I guess I learned something.

So... if I ask a Purdue grad if they have a football team, I guess that’s being offensive?