Death by pineapple.
I threw a whole pineapple at Taylor just now and I am 100% serious when I say I thought I was going to have to take her to the hospital— Laura Barrow (@lara_bara) March 8, 2016
Have you ever had a full pineapple thrown at you and nail you in the heart?— Taylor Otte (@TaylorOtte2) March 8, 2016
Baseball is back in Lincoln!
Home opener for the boys today!!! Not to mention some beautiful weather to go with it! Come on out to Haymarket Park and join us ⚾️— Colton Earl Howell (@CHowell25) March 8, 2016
How did this get approved?
when your teacher has you fill out a piece of paper about your relationship with your boyfriend.......oh wait #nonexsistent— LIV (@OliviaBoender) March 8, 2016
Does anyone else still have a stuffed animal lying around?
Sometimes all you need is a stuffed animal to cuddle with to make you happy. No matter how old you are.— Amber Rolfzen (@twintowerBer) March 9, 2016
I guess we’ll never know.
.@ChrisChristie are you mad you might have won Michigan if you didn't get fired as football coach— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 9, 2016
You have to pick a side.
Half my timeline is girls with abs and the other half is how to make brownies stuffed with Snicker bars.— Brooks Brennan (@Bruxy_B) March 9, 2016
I see what you did there Coach Miles.
I’m a really fast walker too.
I never realize how fast I'm walking until I start passing all these turtles on the way to class— Annika Albrecht (@Annika_Albrecht) March 10, 2016
Golfing season is back!
Caddyshack is the funniest movie ever made— Drew Brown (@Drewdbrown34) March 10, 2016
Chick-Fil-A is the new Starbucks.
Every time I go through the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru and they ask my name, they always think I say Judy. It's happened 3 times out of 3.— kadie rolfzen (@twintowerKD) March 10, 2016
*Plays COPS theme song*
One of the most nerve-racking events in life: when a cop changes lanes and pulls up right behind you.— kadie rolfzen (@twintowerKD) March 10, 2016
Always give it your all until the end.
There will always be obstacles! Don't let them stop your success. GBR.— Jordan Westerkamp (@JordanWesty1) March 12, 2016
I guess we will start to see more of these.
Amber-"Kadie, did you see they have a light that pops up when they shoot behind the 3 pt line now in basketball?" No Amber that's not real— kadie rolfzen (@twintowerKD) March 11, 2016
Just waiting for the day Kadie begins #dumbquotesbyAmber . There would be way too many of them.— Amber Rolfzen (@twintowerBer) March 11, 2016
Beating Wisconsin in any sport is always a pleasure.
Upset?.. I mean if you say so pic.twitter.com/knLQmrRkR9— Tai Jack Webster I. (@Tjawtherula) March 11, 2016
Makes you fall asleep just thinking about it.
Tried scrubbing off the dirt on my arm for awhile only to realize that it's only my farmer's tan.— Alicia Armstrong † (@arm_strong21) March 12, 2016
And last but not least…
Here's what I got so far pic.twitter.com/vCH2JDFu90— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 13, 2016
I hope these tweets made your Monday morning better. If you missed it, here is last week’s Twitter Recap. GO BIG RED!!!