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Corn Flakes: The Long-Awaited National Title Game Is Here!

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Tonight at 7:30 PM, Clemson will meet Alabama in Glendale, AZ at a really big stadium (whose name will not be typed here because of how damned obnoxious that organization was in repeatedly calling Mrs CN after she inquired about an online course) to determine the 2015 College Football National Champion.

Clemson vs Alabama - two teams for whom I've always had such a fondness in my heart.

Clemson's only national title came in 1981, winning their final game against Nebraska in the Orange Bowl, and after that they were put on probation because Danny Ford and Clemson were cheating sunsofbitches.

Alabama claims 248 national titles, so many, and from so many loosely (being kind) unaccredited sources that it's difficult to determine how many real national titles they have, which is exactly the point of why they did things the way they do at Alabama. It doesn't matter to them that these titles aren't real, much of their constituency can't count anyway, and if you argue, it's only a sign of your jealously. #ROLLTIDE

Granted, Nick Saban is an incredible football coach and may well end up the best college football coach in all of history, even greater than Paul Bear Bryant; please excuse the blasphemy. #ROLLTIDE

You can still get tickets to the game for a measly $214.

You can watch the game in so many ways, although there's no indication that Mike Riley will be a part of this year's ESPN Film Room discussion, which is a shame. Otherwise, what's the point in watching?

There is the Mock Replay Booth, available on ESPN3. I thought it might include fans of each team making fun of the other early on, then descending into chaos and a full-fledged bar fight by the end, but alas, this is what they have for a description:

In this broadcast, current ACC and SEC replay officials will join another official and rules expert to take viewers through every relay review, explaining the process and which plays are subject to review.

There is no ESPN Porn Room, where porn stars would discuss the game and disrobe as it unfolds. I'm sure there is no shortage of porn stars that might have attended either university mostly because there appears to be no shortage of porn stars anywhere.

Be sure to show up for the last college football game thread tonight on CN however you decide to watch the game on television. We can all wonder if Nebraska will ever get that far again, then spend the offseason brooding. It'll be fun, I promise.

From the archives: Mike Royko on 8 ways to beat the blahs - Chicago Tribune

Brooding is so often overlooked as an absolutely great way to pass dull time.

Royko recommends BROODING and DRINKING. Together. FANTASTIC!

UC to hire Dolphins' offensive coordinator
Miami Dolphins offensive coordinator Zac Taylor will join the University of Cincinnati football staff as offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach, UC sources told The Enquirer on Sunday.

You can't beat Bama unless you break about 6 big plays. Is Clemson explosive enough? -
The Tigers are as good as anybody at gaining small chunks, but the teams that have beaten Nick Saban over the years have pulled off big-gainers.

Lost and found: Nebraska kicker Byron Bennett's life after the infamous miss - Big Red Today

On New Year’s night 1994, Husker senior Byron Bennett missed a 45-yard field goal to win the national championship. Most teammates haven’t seen him since.

Excellent article by Dirk Chatelain.

SEC and Big 12 will protect Sugar Bowl's New Year's Day position -
If the College Football Playoff wanted to move the Sugar Bowl in order to get back to New Year's Day, it will have two big roadblocks.

Media Buyers, ESPN Negotiating $20M in Bowl Game Ad Makegoods | Broadcasting & Cable
Despite the efforts of the College Football Playoff committee and some media outlets downplaying the financial hit ESPN took by being forced to televise the two national championship semi-final games on New Year’s Eve, media buyers say the network owes upwards of $20 million in ad makegoods for ratings shortfalls for the two games.

Source: Michigan trying to spend part of spring practice in Florida

U-M is attempting to hold a portion of its spring football practice in Florida at the IMG Academy, according to a person with knowledge of the plans but is not authorized to speak publicly.

This is idiotic. But you go, Jim Harbaugh. You irritate the hell out of everyone in the South. Let's start another civil war, and see where that gets us!!!!

Then There's This: 
David Bowie Dies at 69; He Transcended Music, Art and Fashion - The New York Times

Angst and apocalypse, media and paranoia, distance and yearning were among Mr. Bowie’s lifelong themes. So was a taste for transgression coupled with a determination to push cult tastes toward the mainstream.