We have a smorgasbord of suckage to celebrate this week, which means there's no room for BERT (lost to Texas A&M), Gary Pinkel (lost to Kentucky) or Nebraska's nation's worst pass defense. No, we've got some spectacular suckage to celebrate this week. So let's get started, shall we?
Remember last year when Oregon was in the college football playoff and the darlings of the college football world? Remember last year when the unstoppable Oregon offense was going to send Scott Frost to Nebraska as head coach? Well, that didn't happen...then this happened. Utah 62, Oregon 20.
Yes, Oregon lost by SIX TOUCHDOWNS. At home.
Meanwhile, as the Ducks laid an egg on Fox, the Arizona Wildcats were mailing it in on ABC's Saturday Night game. Maybe they decided bringing Gameday to Tucson was enough. UCLA led 42-14 at halftime, and nobody outside of Westwood paid any attention after that. (Final score was 56-30, in case you cared...)
The Sun Devils decided to join the pity party by getting trucked by Southern Cal 42-14. Trailing 21-0 in the second quarter, Arizona State was sniffing the end zone until they botched a snap. Southern Cal returned the fumble 94 yards for a touchdown, then Arizona State fumbled the ensuing kickoff. Suddenly what looked like a 21-7 halftime score was 35-0...and the rout was on.
Last week, Texas lost by a point when they missed the extra point on a late touchdown, earning them a Cob nomination. This week, they get another Cob nomination for a two-fer. First, Texas punter Michael Dickson dropped the snap with :36 seconds left, and then wildly punted the ball at a 45 degree angle for a 6 yard net loss. Oklahoma State used that field position to kick the game winning field goal.
But rather than blame their team's special teams incompetence, our friends over at Barking Carnival decided to claim the game was fixed.
As if we needed more data points on leaving this backwater league.
I feel your pain, Bovines, and you know what I'll do. I'll feel sorry for you.
For exactly 0:01.
Well, Tanner Magnum's magical underpants finally gave out; he threw for just 55 yards as BYU got blown out in the Big House, losing 31-0 to Michigan. As if Jim Harbaugh fever wasn't bad enough, now we get this.
If you thought Saturday's broadcast of the Nebraska/Southern Miss game seemed, oh, I don't know, like it was a Mickey Mouse production, well, it was. Seems that ESPN only sent a skeleton crew to Lincoln, renting a local camera crew and then producing the broadcast remotely from Orlando. At least they sent announcers to Lincoln.
Frank Solich's Ohio Bobcats were giving Minnesota everything they could handle - and then some on Saturday. Minnesota took the lead in the final minute, but then Ohio returned the kickoff into Gopher territory. The Bobcats were getting ready to attempt a game-winning 53 yard field goal when Minnesota decided to ice the kicker with the timeout.
Did you see that flag? The referees decided to penalize the Bobcats for delay of game. Why? Apparently, the referees decided that going through with the snap and kick after the timeout was "clearly designed to delay the referees from marking the ball ready for play." So then faced with a 58 yard attempt, Ohio had to turn to plan B: throw the Hail Mary, which came up short.