Back in the good ol' US of A. Where we brew the best beer, keep the most beautiful women and make every single ounce of trans fat known to man. Nothing says America like getting drunk, doing it with our girlfriends and making super fat, spoiled kids. FREEDOM!
Honestly, Moscow was like Omaha. If Omaha had 16 million people and a Subway.
Things Moscow had in common with Omaha:
1) No football team
2) Jealous of its smaller but way cooler counterpart, St. Petersberg.
3) You can smell Belarus (or as they call it, "Belatucky") if you get too close to the border.
4) The Moscow World Herald
5) Piroshki (a meat and cabbage filled bread) are everywhere. They were better 10 years ago I hear.
6) Mikel Severvich, the best internet radio guy in all of Russia. Interestingly enough, he's not really from there, he's from Louisiana.
7) Bo Pelini hates Moscow
8) Moscow won't stop talking about the 90's
9) It's very scary to drive in Moscow
12) They just got their first Starbucks and the old people refuse to pay "120 RUBLES FOR KOFE!?!"
13) They try just a little to hard to not be like the rest of Russia
14) My mom worried about me the whole time I was in Moscow
15) Everyone wears red all year long
16) Everyone afraid the Bolsheviks are gonna take their guns!
17) It's really just a bunch of malls put next to each other in the shape of a city
18) They hate Obama
I'm sure there are more. Feel free to leave your own in the comments and I'll do the same if I can remember anymore.
Thanks to Pat and Joe for keeping this ship running smoothly while I was gone. If all of the fans of our show could fill out the "How did Pat and Joe do" questionaire below for me I'd appreciate it. Seriously.
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