Husker Mike: This is not the season I wanted to be 5-0 picking Nebraska games.
Nathaniel: So when is the apocalypse happening Mike?
Pat Janssen: So it turns out last week I wrote one sentence, and then I forgot to fill in my picks. At least that means my record didn’t get any worse.
Patrick G.: First road trip of the year for me. I’ll try not to drink too much Surly...
Greg: Honestly, I don’t even know where I stand in ye olde prediction rankings. I’m sure I’m somewhere near the bottom. Let’s see how I can make it worse.
Andy: Since 2015 Husker football mostly brings on alcoholism & a bunch of people on radio shows and chat boards doing their impression of Kevin Bacon at the end of Animal House (ALL IS WELL!!!), I brought a friend.
Cobby: WHERE’S THE WHITE WOMEN AT??!! OH C’MON! LIKE NO ONE’S SEEN "BLAZING SADDLES"??!!!
Ranchbabe: Cobby is back to doing picks?!? I don’t know if I should celebrate or weep.
Brian: I’m currently watching Barney Cotton call plays for a 2-4 UNLV team. It could always be worse folks.
Iowa (-2.5) at Northwestern
Pat Janssen: Even though Northwestern laid an egg last weekend, I still think Iowa’s record is all smoke and mirrors. On the road against (what had been until last week) a salty defense, I don’t think Ferentz’s bunch gets it done. Northwestern 23, Ugly Drunk People 14
Patrick G: I just want Northwestern to win
Northwestern: 18 Iowa: 12
Husker Mike: Iowa has been just good enough to win up to now, but I think Northwestern is better. (High pitched squeaky voice from across the river: "Still better than Nebraska!") The Wildcats got Harbaughed last week; they bounce back big-time this week. NW 27, Idiots Out Wandering Around Chicago 21.
Greg: Two teams that I just can’t find myself rooting for regardless of the scenario. Iowa because #Iowa. And Northwestern is Chicago, and as a Southern Illinois boy, well, there is just unspeakable evil perpetuating from that location (though Shedd’s Aquarium is quite nice). I do think that NW comes back from their disappointing outing last week and protects the home turf, beating Iowa 3-2. KIDDING! 3-0. HA! Okay, seriously...31-27
Andy: The Hawkeye smoke ‘n’ mirrors show comes to an end as the Northwestern offense comes alive Big 10 style! NW 17 Iowa 13
Nathaniel: This game will be harder to watch than Wisconsin-Nebraska. Kitties 12 Tweety Birds 9
Cobby: YOU GUYS REMEMBER "THE REPLACEMENTS"? KEANU?? AND THE OWNER SAID HE’D SEEN BETTER MONKEY SHIT FIGHTS AT THE ZOO?? ANYWAY… IOWA 6 NORTHWESTERN 3
Ranchbabe: Ferentz has been gambling his buyout money and going for it on fourth down a lot this year. I guess he forgot to use two scholarships on punters? This game will prove that the B1G is B1Ging so hard this year. NW 11 Iowegia 6
Brian: You are full of shit if you thought this game meant the B1G West in July. NW is a fraud, Iowa somewhat resembles a football team. Hawkeyes win.
Oklahoma (-4) at Kansas State
Pat Janssen: I honestly have no true read on this game. Oklahoma should be due for a bounceback, and they’re more talented than K-State. BUT that wizard Bill Snyder and the Wildcats’ homefield advantage has me scared of taking a schizophrenic Sooners’ squad. I’m picking purple two games in a row. Kittens 31, Ruf/Neks 27
Patrick G: If it was a night game, I might pick Kansas State in this game. I also think Stoops will get his team over last week’s loss fairly quickly.
Oklahoma 27 Kansas State 17
Husker Mike: I think K-State’s quarterback issues get exploited by a Sooner team that’s coughing up a Bevo-sized cowpie this week. Sooners 34, Mildcats 28
Greg: Oklahoma recovers from the Red River Rash Sooner rather than later. I too enjoy some Bill Snyder wizardry (if that coach can come back after they name a stadium/field after them...just think of the possibilities), but Okie wins it by at least two scores. How does 35-17 sound?
Andy: Bill Snyder spent the week scrambling for another 1-AA opponent but no such luck. The heartbreak continues for the kitties. OU 38 KSU 34
Nathaniel: This game will be more exciting because Oklahoma will pull some more late game magic and Kansas State will know what it’s like to be Nebraska. Sooners 34 Kay State 31
Cobby: BILL SNYDER COACHES FOOTBALL LIKE BILL SNYDER FUCKS!!! GET IT?? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH GOD, I LOVE RUM!!!! OU 42 KSU 25
Ranchbabe: Bevo died today (not kidding - he really did). I think that means the weird voodoo curse Texas held over OK and Nebraska is over. It really doesn’t affect this game, but I don’t actually know anything about K-state this year and this was the best I could do. Big Game Bobs 35 Purple Wizards 24
Brian: God, what’s the point? KState is a dog at home and Oklahoma needs a win to stay in the B12 race. Boomer Sooner cause the fallout will be shuttered by the DefCorn crew.
Michigan State (+7.5) at Michigan
Pat Janssen: This line might not seem high enough to some people, but it feels like it might be a bit much, especially for a rivalry game against the No. 2 team in the land. This kind of feel like Bob Stoops’ first game in Manhattan in 2000, when Oklahoma officially announced they were not to screwed with. But that was Stoops’ second year, and this Michigan State team has more talent than that K-State team. Granted, it’s talent that hasn’t exactly performed to its highest level, but D’Antonio has been waiting to put a chip on his team’s shoulder. This is the week. Sparty 24, Wolvy 21
Patrick G: I really do not know what to make of these teams right now. I really have not watched enough of either get a good grasp. Michigan has been getting a lot of love over the past few weeks and that could bite them in the ass against a Michigan State team that likes to play with a chip on its shoulder. They both have good wins and Michigan’s one loss is to a really good Utah team (didn’t think I would be writing that this year). In the end, I see MSU pulling it out close to the end in Ann Arbour. Paul Bunyan goes back to Lansing for another year.
Michigan State 24 Michigan 21
Husker Mike: Michigan State should be better than they’ve played this season. Michigan shouldn’t be this good. Sparty has heard all of the Harbaugh love, and won’t put up with it this week. Sparty 27, Weasels 21.
Greg: I don’t think any fan on either side was prepared for this game to be as competitive as it should be this year. As those above me stated, Michigan State should be playing better and Michigan shouldn’t be this good just yet, right? I mean, first-year coaches need a little time to get things in place. It’s at the Big House, and I don’t think we’ll see a whole lot of green in the stands. I’m calling for an upset here by saying Michigan wins a close one, 30-27.
Andy: Michigan has been looking like a machine and Michigan St. does not at all resemble a team that sits near the top of the rankings. So of course, Sparty will come alive behind a big day from Connor Cook and give big brother a home beatdown. MSU 24 Michy 7
Nathaniel: Why is everyone picking Sparty in this one? Have you seen them play this year? I think their mediocre play finally comes back to haunt them. Michigan has a really good record in the Big House and they should have no problem dispatching of Sparty. UMMMM 27 State 10
Cobby: D’ARTAGNAN OR WHOEVER THE HELL THAT GREEN COACH IS LOOKS PISSED ALL THE TIME. I BET HE’S LOOKING PISSED AT PRACTICE RIGHT NOW. HE’S PROBABLY MUTTERING STUFF LIKE, "boy does he like like a shithead in those dockers" THE BOYS WILL WANT HIM TO NOT BE PISSED NEXT WEEK. Sparty 21 Overgrown Possum 16
Ranchbabe: Michigan State has not played like the second best team in the land. Michigan has its 4 and 5 star recruits finally playing like it. If Sparty cannot break out of their doldrums for this one - they never will. MSU 24 UM 20
Brian: If this game was in East Lansing, Sparty wins by 2 scores. It isn’t, and Michigan’s D is not terrible. That being said, the Wolverines have to prove they can beat a team with their Offense that has a pulse. I think Sparty wins this one.
Alabama (-4) at Texas A&M
Pat Janssen: Nope. No chance. Alabama 37, A&M 21
It would be fun to say this will be a close game but I think Alabama will come into College Station and put Reveille to bed. A&M will have their moments and make it competitive at times, but not enough to win.
Alabama 36 Texas A&M 12
Husker Mike: Did you know that A&M has a losing record at home in SEC conference games? The Aggies are better on the road than at Kyle Field for some reason. Roll Tide 34, Gaggies 21
Greg: Alabama wins this one, putting another notch in the "we beat another overrated SEC team, as this scrappy bunch of nobodies climbs back up the polls." Calling it now. ‘Bama 35, The Fightin’ Ben Cotton’s Nuts Squeezers 21
Andy: Texas hillbilly vs. ‘Bama hillbilly. I love these matchups. Two sets of weirdo redneck where each considers the other no-good white trash. For what it’s worth, I agree with both of them. As for the game, the aTm improves on last year’s 59-0 defeat. ‘Bama 37 aTm 13
Nathaniel: Again I’m pretty shocked everyone is picking Bama. A&M is better than most people think and Bama is being held back by a few key injuries. This game will be a lot of fun to watch and fans will at Kyle Field will go home happy. Aggies 31 Elephants 24
Cobby: (ESPN is rehashing the Spurrier resignation, so Cobby is grabbing his crotch and flipping the bird while a torrent of obscenities pours from his mouth.) NO PICK
Ranchbabe: It generally seems like a bad idea to pick against Bama. However, A&M has been getting better and better. Naw, can’t do it. Roll Tide 38 Aggies 24
Brian: Saban smells blood, but Kyler Murray is the anti-thesis of what Saban can stop. Plus, Alabama has to play Offense as well, and that’s kind of brutal. I think Bama wins, but they don’t look comfortable doing so.
Nebraska (+2) at Minnesota
Pat Janssen: I’m calling it. Right here. All my other lofty predictions for Nebraska are in the rearview mirror. A new set of them starts today. Huskers win and close out the regular season 6-0. Nebraska 31, Minny 21
Patrick G: Last week I had Nebraska losing because I thought something bad would happen, and something bad did happen…I really don’t want to do that again. This week so I’m going with a beat up defensive line over a beat up offensive line. Their quarterback can’t torch our secondary, can he?
Nebraska 17 Minnesota 13
Husker Mike: I just don’t see how Minnesota can take enough advantage of Nebraska’s secondary this week. I do think the Gophers will hurt Nebraska on the ground, though. But I also think that Nebraska is going to shake out of their offensive funk this week. I think they’ll give the ball more to Terrell Newby and Devine Ozigbo more on first down, and stop putting themselves into 2nd and tens like they did last week. Tommy Armstrong completes 60% of his passes - and with much better effectiveness. Huskers 27, Gophers 23
Greg: Speaking of Shedd’s Aquarium, now that I look back, that’s where my wife and I were last year when Nebraska played Minnesota. Ah and what a day it was. We saw otters. OTTERS! And I saw another Nebraska fan. I don’t know who broke the news to whom, but it was learned that NU lost that game. I don’t see that happening this year. Huskers do not lose three straight conference games. Repeat after me: "Nebraska does not lose three consecutive conference games." Just mumble that to yourself until you believe it. If it helps, sit in the corner of the room and rock back and forth slowly. Huskers win this one BECAUSE WE WILL HAVE THE BALL AT THE END OF THE GAME!!! 30-20
Andy: Well, Tommy Armstrong has been under 60% in games not involving directional schools, under 50% in three of the four and under 40% in the last two. However, I’m told that he is making great strides under Riley & Langsdorf, so there.
The front 7 on defense is injury ravaged and the defensive backfield could probably start its own psych ward about now having become one of the worst units in the country as only Illinois has failed to throw for over 300 on the Blackshirts. Taking Mitch Leidner’s best performance of the year thus far & improving on it slightly (not unreasonable given statistical consistency) should yield about 280 yards through the air for the Gophers.
Couple that with Shannon Brooks emergence at tailback, and it looks like another rough afternoon for the Cornhuskers. Minny 24 NU 20
(Picking us to win is not working...so I’m trying this)
Nathaniel: Nebraska, especially Armstrong, needs to start running the ball more. I honestly don’t know what to expect from this team on both sides of the ball. Nebraska struggles early but things pick up in the 4th quarter for a comeback win thanks to good clock management by Riley.
Huskers 24 Minnesota 20
COBBY: KILL ALL THE GOPHERS...KILL ALL THE GOLFERS...LOCK US UP & THROW AWAY THE KEY...SHIT FIRE IT BURNS DOWN THERE...GREAT GIT! (no pick)
Ranchbabe: This game could come down to which team still has bodies in uniform still standing by the end of the game. The I think I trust the Husker offense to come out of its doldrums and take advantage of a good, but injured Gopher defense more than the injured Minny offense to take advantage of an injured/incompetent Husker defense. If there was ever a week for this Husker secondary to quit being contagious (as in - every time opposing receivers take the field, they catch something) it is this week. Langsdorf goes FULL JANOVICH on the nice folks to the north. Husker 27 Gophers 17
Brian: I think Minnesota has ZEROOOOOO trust in Leidner to win this game, and if they are going to run the ball, Nebraska can do something big here. Nebraska has to be smart on 1st down, and I think they are. Run the mother f*$&ing ball and win, Big Red. Nebraska by 13.