Until Wisconsin sat Gordon the entire 4th quarter and blew a 24-7 lead, I had Wisconsin as the #1 team in the conference, a ranking that I had carried over from last week. But since ACTUALLY WINNING matters, I dropped them behind Michigan State and Nebraska.
It was a hard decision whether to rank Nebraska or Michigan State #1. Michigan State didn’t play an opponent any more difficult than FAU, and they didn’t dismantle them the way Nebraska dismantled FAU. But they went 13-1 last year and return a lot from that team. So the benefit of the doubt goes to Sparty.
Michigan State looked very dominant in their game. I rank them first because Connor Cook looked very good, like he picked up from where he ended last year, so instead of Sparty having to spend most of the season figuring out their offense they will start out in good shape.
Wisconsin - insert profanity.
Ohio State - their offense was horrible. They need to find Carlos Hyde’s replacement. The defense looked pretty bad at times, but Navy can be an interesting challenge.
I also picked MSU first, right in line with Jon’s comments. OSU looked absolutely lost for most of the game vs Navy and finally was able to cobble enough together late to more or less resemble supposedly one of the best teams in the nation.
Don’t know what in the blue fuck happened to Wisconsin. They let one slip away because they went full DERP...not that we don’t know what that feels like, of course.
Michigan looked pretty dominant in their opener as well. They had something resembling a running game, so you know...that was pretty sweet.
Nebraska joins the ranks of the power conference royalty that absolutely kicked the crap out of an over-matched FBS squad. We did exactly what we should’ve, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m still firmly in the "show me" stage.
Northwestern didn’t bother to show up. Or at least not till the 3rd quarter. They like outscored Cal 17-7 in the second half so, you know...there’s that at least.
I tried to pretend the logo didn’t matter, tried to consider a beatdown of the unmatched vs. performance against a better opponent and, of course, ended up taking a big, fricking guess. Wiscy played a ranked SEC team and lost with a consensus of, "Hey, we screwed the pooch!" which is much higher up the ladder than, "Well, shit. That was embarrassing," so I put them at #2 ahead of our FAU shower rape.
After that, I thought the Huskers, Terrapins & Wolvies all took care of bidness in dominating fashion against overmatched competition and ranked them 3, 4 & 5 in the order of how I saw that domination.
Next were Rutgers & Penn St who both won close ones against teams that might or might not turn out to be decent, but at least they were more competition than the beetles that Tyrion’s cousin Orson smashed with a rock for shits & giggles.
8-14 were all victories (barring Northwestern and….ick, guys) in name only and I ranked them by their respective levels of embarrassment with the Buckeyes leading that group’s charge since many hopeful souls picked a Navy upset. Sorry, it was still a fucking service academy vs. a school for whom the court-approved green light to pay players won’t mean much beyond accounting practices. The rest of you were a shart in the B1G’s briefs.