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Corn Flakes: Ameer Abdullah, Randy Gregory And Nicknames

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Bruce Thorson-USA TODAY Sports

Are nicknames dead?

The conclusion has to be be "Yes" as you don't see them much anymore, unless they're assigned to rappers, and i'm not sure how that happened - how it happened that the rappers got all the nicknames and nobody gets any anymore unless they're in the NFL and even then they appear to be rare or at least rarer than they used to be.

Maybe they get old and unoriginal, the exception being "Johnny Football", and you can argue whether or not that got old, but you'd have to distinguish whether it was the nickname that got old, or the guy himself.

I'm bringing this up because I'm surprised that there's been little talk of the subject surrounding Ameer Abdullah and Randy Gregory, two guys that deserve nicknames if nicknames were to still be a thing. Abdullah used to be known as "Energizer Bunny" in high school, apparently, but if you search on his name and "Energizer Bunny", you'll find articles that mention other players with the same nickname, making it not unique (key to a good nickname) and rather unintimidating (not a good thing for a football player, even a running back).

Randy Gregory.... one explanation came from one of the CN staff when I asked about potential nicknames: nicknames use Randy Gregory as a nickname.

This could be Chuck Norris true, although it takes the fun out of things. With the realization that none of these will catch on, let's go ahead and see what, in honor of Big McLargehuge, we can come up with:

Quick Mcsnappinnecks

Fastsmasher Runemdown

Oops Hesbyme

Crashenblaster Closingspeed

Mister Gregory

Randy McCrunchthemfuckers

Noblockem Pasrush

Fist Holdingcall


Pass EeeeagggggghhhhhSquish

Randy Gregory

Uneeda Newspleen

Blast EmbackTwenty

Or we could use one that we once proposed for Ndamukong Suh:

BronkoLombardiOutlandBednarik Guy

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