Old Farmer's Almanac Predicts 2014 as Year of Really Bad Tackling

Ben Hackinston was surprised while taking a look at his grandfather's Old Farmer's Almanac this August only to discover there was a section on college football despite the fact that it's been there every year since 1936. Hackinston isn't alone. Few have noticed that section because the only people who ever read the Old Farmer's Almanac are old farmers, and they don't talk to anyone else.

The Old Farmer's Almanac is famous for predicting weather patterns, but this year's edition includes a segment predicting poor tackling by everyone in college football:

This season will be marked by poor defensive play across the entire spectrum of college football. Players hamstrung by rules changes to make the game safer will find themselves hesitating when attempting to wrap up and tackle ball carriers and receivers. They will hold up when attempting to rush passing quarterbacks, making it far easier for offenses to set scoring and yardage records.

Defensive play will be so poor that even average defenders will appear super human when compared to previous seasons.

The Almanac included some predictions about the impact of bad tackling on several conferences:

The Big Ten will enjoy unparalleled offense, causing much consternation amongst the conference's fans. Records will be set for total yardage, team rushing records will fall and the conference will see a historical low in field goal attempts. One exception might be Michigan State.

In the SEC, defenses will be bludgeoned repeatedly by experienced, powerful running backs, scoring at will, with traditional teams like Alabama reaching perhaps 24 points per game.

The Big 12 hasn't played decent defense since the 2009 Nebraska Cornhuskers, so fans of that conference should expect little change.

Regarding the MAC, defenders will simply have to hope that ball carriers fall down.

Hackinston vowed to tell no one of his discovery, lest they believe him to be an old farmer and therefore stop talking to him.