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Corn Flakes: Sage Advice Offered To Teenagers

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

So.... how was your weekend?

My weekend was pretty decent. Soccer season started again, with the last one, the last child playing the sport after, OMG (so many years I'm not counting you bastards). We're coming to the end soon, and honestly, I will miss it because mostly I love to yell at other people's children.

The son's team had a tournament, and they lost both games, which is okay, because they're still trying to find out who they are. They looked much better than last year, in terms of "soccer", which, honestly is a much more difficult game to play than American football. I would go into this further, but believe me when I say that learning how to block the ISO is much easier than learning how to adjust from a 4-3-3 to a 1-2-8 formation or whatever the fuck they're talking about when I perchance to listen in.

Seriously... y'all think that soccer is kicking a ball around a field, but as a guard I had to know whether or not to block the guy in front of me, pull and hit a defensive end or linebacker, or just fall down and rest for a bit because the play was going in the other direction. Soccer is... well, shit I'm not going into it that deep.

We had two games on Saturday, one early, one afternoon, and between we went to a Texas Roadhouse for lunch. I had a decent steak (along with other things), sat around with some teenagers, and offered sage advice that other parents would not give. They asked, mind you, what advice we would give to them, being sarcastic and all because they're all young and know not what they ask, to which I said..

When a police officer says to you 'Ask one more question and you're going to jail" - "WHAT FOR?" is not an appropriate answer.

We pondered this for a while. In the meantime:

Northwestern college football union vote: Whether it's yes or no, good things will happen - Sippin' On Purple
The run-up to Northwestern's vote for or against a union has been ugly and divisive. But regardless of whether the result is yes union or no union -- and it looks like no union -- college athletes will be better off because of what happened at NU.

Razorbacks superfan scores TD during Arkansas spring football game -
The trend of awesome spring game things continues with Canaan Sandy's touchdown.

Sharrif Floyd among plaintiffs suing NCAA, SEC in class-action lawsuit - Alligator Army
Here is some interesting news for your Friday night: Sharrif Floyd is lining up against the NCAA.

Report: The Lions have looked into trading DT Ndamukong Suh -
Ndamukong Suh will be expensive for the Lions to keep after this season. That's why they might be thinking about trading him.

About those Ndamukong Suh trade rumors - Pride Of Detroit
Are the Detroit Lions actively trying to trade away Ndamukong Suh? Not really.

Rutgers Spring Game Recap: Peoples shines, Nova on top - On the Banks
RB Desmon Peoples caps off another breakthrough spring with a productive Scarlet-White game performance.

Yarina: A super-early look at 2014-15 hoops predictions " Big Ten Network
Uh... Nebraska is not at the bottom this time. YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHERE THEY ARE!!!!

Can Terran Petteway be the Big Ten's best player in 2015? - BT Powerhouse
He brought swagger to Nebraska in 2014. What will he do for an encore?

Shatel: Late kickoffs risk turning attendees into TV viewers -
Nebraska has an 8 p.m. home game start time. Will late games like that keep some fans home?