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NCAA Structural Changes for Change's Sake - The Three Envelopes Joke In Real Life

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

A steering committee has recommended that the NCAA change their governing board structure, going as far as suggesting that people other than college presidents should have the right to be on the Board of Directors and be able to vote on whatever the hell it is that the NCAA governing board would vote for.

The committee recommended that the Big Five conferences; the ACC, Big 12, Big Ten, Pac-12 and SEC - be given the biggest percentage of the vote, 37%, just enough to make them look like they have more power and could be in control but not enough to actually do anything worthwhile as they will be overruled by the rest of all the other member schools.

They went so far as to recommend giving a whopping 3.7% percentage of the vote to student athletes, just enough to make them feel like someone gives a shit about what they have to say.

Were there a really honest steering committee member named Jim Wishywashy, he would say, "It's a recommendation that's the best kind of recommendation in that it's change that looks like change but doesn't result in any change whatsoever. It's the Three Envelopes Joke being execute in real life with no one complaining about it! Best of all, big boss Mark Emmert gets to say that he's trying to do things and keep justifying his massive CEO-like three million dollar salary!".

"Someone besides a university president can be on the board as if they're going to go against the wishes of their university's president now that tenure has all but been eliminated except for really old professors."

Asked when it might be possible for student athletes to receive a stipend to cover the cost difference between a full scholarship, Wishywashy would laugh and have this to say:

"It'll take a while. First we'll have to build more consensus, take some trips to expensive vacation sights, have more meetings, pay ourselves exorbitant salaries, do more press conferences where Jim Delany says we'd like to do that if it weren't for all the small schools stopping him, and when you get past that, I'd say about 2035, if ever."