The 2014 Nebraska Football Team awards were announced today. We got the same Athletic Department Release and did the same thing everyone else did; re-wrote it so that this looks like an original article. We added extra snark, though, so ours is automatically better than everyone else's.
This year's Awards go like this:
Team Most Valuable Player: Ameer Abdullah for the second straight year.
Guy Chamberlin Trophy: Ameer Abdullah
The award dates back to 1967 and is voted on by members of the media, and honors a senior player who has the qualities and dedication of the great Cornhusker tradition. That sounds nice, doesn't it? Damn, Abdullah should have won more national awards this year. It sucks how his season turns out... other than he set records. I guess the win for him will be winning a NFL contract come spring/fall.
Defensive MVP: Shared by Maliek Collins and Nathan Gerry
Special Teams MVP award: De'Mornay Pierson-El.
Tom Novak Trophy: Trevor Roach
Basically goes to the guy regarded as the "toughest sunuvabitch on the team".
Pat Clare Award: Trevor Roach
Honestly, i don't know what this is. I know Clare was an Academic All-American, and a physician, but I don't know why they have an award for it. Check around on other sites, see if they give an explanation.
Cletus Fischer Native Son Award: Jake Cotton
Goes to a Nebraska native senior player, which significantly reduces the chance for a lot of them to win it. Maybe this was Barney's goal all along....
Lifter of the Year: Jack "Raccoon Killer" Gangwish
He was also voted "Most Likely to Be Bitten By A Wild Animal" in preseason team voting that was kept secret until now.
Scout Team Offensive MVP Award: Shared by guard Jerald Foster and running back Mikale Wilbon
Scout Team Defensive MVP Award: Shared by Erik Evans and Zach Stovall.
Character Award: Mike Moudy
Perimeter Award: Kenny Bell
For the guy that does the best blocking on the perimeter.
Husker Heart Award: Mark Pelini
Participation trophies were given to everyone else and then they all went to Dairy Queen.
Is that sarcasm? Yes, that's sarcasm, that old man "get off my lawn" sarcasm that really means, "where the hell did all these awards come from?".